New Members of the Mortgage Club

As of this week, David and I are home owners. Never thought that I would own my own place at the age of 23. It's amazing how a couple of years can change your life.

I remember how I was two and a half years ago - completely hopeless about where my life was going. I couldn't imagine that it would actually be the way I always wanted.

One little bump that we're experiencing on our home buying adventure is that our real estate agent won't give us all the keys. He says he doesn't have one and there's nothing he can do about it! Nothing he can do! It's his responsibility to provide us all the keys, isn't it? It just seems so obvious that I'm not even sure if it's a legal requirement.

I called the agency to speak to his manager (as he's been very unprofessional and irresponsible the entire process) but the receptionist said that he would call back. He hasn't. I also called our solicitor and left a message on his voicemail but had no call back. I just want to know if it's the agency's responsibility to provide us all the keys or not.

It's very frustrating.

In other news, I'm loving my dance class. It's really not enough to do it just once a week. I wish I could practise every day but I've been too busy. My 'friend' from first lesson hasn't shown up since.

This weekend, David and I are painting our new place. April asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her and Ella for hen's night costumes but unfortunately I can't. Also, have to pick up my wedding dress.

Although it seems like most things are organised for the wedding and the unit but there's still so much to do:

- get jewellery
- test reception food
- send dj a song list (i.e. choose songs)
- send photographer a list of required photos
- select ceremony
- finish the last batch of invitations (can you believe I still haven't finished them?!)
- connect to a telephone network
- choose best internet plan
- buy carpet
- buy new stove, oven, washing machine, fridge
- buy blinds

And to top this off, I agreed to do a book club with April and read "Gone With The Wind". I didn't want to say no because I've been neglecting all the things I used to like doing.

Bought myself a new skirt today. It was only $10 (original price was $69) so I couldn't say no. I think it would look nice on our honeymoon.

Honeymoon is such a good reason to buy nice new stuff. Not like I go shopping that often anyway.

I've noticed I've become more grown-up in my shopping too. I actually enjoyed browsing the homewares section. Imagining what cushions I'd buy for our new couch, what rug, what tableware. Ahhh...

The Lives of My Friends

Dear Sky,

I'm getting nervous about getting married and my boyfriend hasn't even proposed yet!

We've been together for four years. We talk about marriage A LOT but nothing ever comes out of it. I can see myself spending my life with him but some things about him make me nervous. What if he has an affair? You hear it happens to people who never expect it. He also doesn't want to have kids but I do. He's great with others' kids so he's probably only going through a phase and will change his mind.

He can also be very immature but all guys are at this age, aren't they? Does quarter-life crisis exist? I think he might be having one.

I don't know what to do. Is this the guy for me?

- nervous and confused

Dear nervous and confused,

Get a hold of yourself! If you're getting cold feet before you're even engaged, you're not ready to marry this guy. You have to put your feelings and emotions aside for a little while (as hard as it is to do) and assess your capatability with him rationally.

If you think he might cheat, you obviously don't trust him. A successful relationship cannot exist without trust. Has he given you reason to feel this way or are you getting influenced by things you hear in the media? If it's the latter, you're being too easily influenced by people who shouldn't influence you at all. You have to know his character (which after four years, you should have a clear picture) to see that he's strong enough not to be swayed away from you or give in to weaknesses.

As for kids, that's not something to be taken lightly. If he says he doesn't want to have kids, you have no guarantee that he will change his mind. This sort of 'phase' can last a lifetime.

Immaturity doesn't always disappear with age. Some people have that condition all their lives.

A quarter-life crisis exists in people's heads. Age is no excuse for doing out-of-character things.

Having said all of the above, it doesn't mean that this guy isn't the one for you. He very well might be. Sometimes it's easier to convince yourself that he's the one because you have a history with him that you don't want to throw away. Unfortunately, the longer you wait the worse it will get if in the end you realise he's not the one you want. But only you can decide that.

Love Sky

Dear Sky,

My boyfriend and I have been together since high school. I am ready to take the next step and make a formal committment. The problem is that I know he's not. He has not grown up enough to be the adult partner I want him to be.

For example, we have planned on going overseas next year and as I was about to book the tickets, he called to tell me that he didn't want to go because he wanted to save up for a car. I was devastated because I was really looking forward to it.

I am also looking to buy a property but there's no way I'd want him to move in. I would just end up picking after him. He needs to grow up first.

My parents love him but I am not sure anymore if I want spend my life with him.

I also have a problem with him not caring what I do. He wouldn't even care if I had a stripper for my hen's night. He also never argues which really annoys me. I'd rather he screamed than stayed silent. I even try to provoke him to get any reaction but it doesn't have any effect on him.

Should I wait until he grows up?

- Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Sounds like you're stuck with a guy out of habit. You might've had things in common when you were teenagers but it seems you don't anymore.

His last-minute cancellation on your trip shows not only his lack of reliability but also his complete lack of consideration.

The fact that you don't want to move in with him out of fear that you'd be like a mother figure is a big neon sign that says "Mismatch!" He's not a child anymore and should be able to look after himself.

Of course your parents love him - they only see the surface - his good job, his charm etc. That's not enough for you because you need some quality and substance underneath the perfect exterior to make your relationship work.

If you feel the need to provoke him to get a reaction shows either a bit of immaturity on your part or your need for his attention. If it's attention you want, you need to tell him! It might sound like a cliche but communication is key! If you're being immature, you'd make the perfect couple!

You're right that he still needs to grow up. Unfortunately you never know how long that will take. It's up to you to decide how long you want to wait. Don't wait too long because you don't want to wake up one day when you're 35 and realise that nothing had changed.

Love Sky

Dear all my friends with boyfriends who are 'not ready',

Be strong!!! Make a decision about what you want and stick to it. Let him know where you stand and if he's not standing right there beside you, it's time to cut loose (yes, it will be painful) but not as painful as spending your life with somebody who doesn't realise how lucky he is to have you.

Love you all,
Sky

Sweet Life

David and I ordered our wedding cake on the weekend.

The place looked like a museum. Each cake was a piece of artwork. They offered us some samples which sealed the deal. We're going to have the yummiest cake, which will hopefully look great too.

We also bought floor boards for our new place. It doesn't sound that exciting but I was so excited to be picking out the floor and the thing that goes around it, forgot what it's called.

We get the keys next week!!!! Ohmygod, I can' t believe it, we will be owners of a unit (and "owners of a mortgage" as David put it). This is too grown-up but I'm so ready for it.

On Sunday, met up with the school friends. Handed out invitations to those who haven't received one. They were so excited about the whole thing. We also decided on the theme for the hen's night which I can't wait for! A reason to dress up never goes astray.

Too many exciting things happening!!! I'm bursting with excitement.

Last night brought me back to earth though when at about 9pm, I got bad stomach pains and started losing conscience. I was freaked out but it passed and I'm fine now.

Dancing Adrenaline

I'm on a dancing high.

Started classes again.

The instructor was full of energy and really made it fun. She taught the moves quite differently to the last place I've been to but I got the hang of it. I also realised just how unfit I am. My muscles were killing me and my body just couldn't move as fluidly as it should have.

Seriously need more practice. Salsa seems so easy in comparison.

Made a friend straight away which was great so I didn't feel like I was alone there. She had a friend who does shows. That's pretty cool to know a professional dancer.

I can't wait till next week.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

April is organising my hen's night! Other girls are all eager to have some put in so should be interesting! I'm so looking forward to it. I know it's going to be tons of fun. Still deciding on the theme though.

Work Hours

me: I'm so annoyed. I couldn't leave until 5pm!
April: what a hard life you lead

Money Talks

My old manager called me yesterday and told me that the position that I vacated will be advertised with a higher salary!

And I have been deciding not to go back because I'm learning so much at my new job and getting used to it. I'm even appreciating the extra walking.

But money is a big thing so I will definitely go for it.

Friday with Future In-Laws

I got my salsa dvd! I can't wait to start! The end is bad quality, though. I wonder if it's the DVD or our dodgy DVD player. Need to try it in another one.

Last night went well. Dinner was really nice. My parents weren't used to such large portions and so much seafood but it all turned out ok. They talked a lot. Especially my Mum. I never realised how social and outgoing she was. Especially lately, I started noticing that she just makes conversation with anybody. People in the shops, on an escalator, on a plane etc. I don't remember her being like that before.

Our parents will never be friends but I know that they always be able to get along. That's all we can really ask for. We're both very lucky that neither of our parents have any issues and are easy-going.

After my parents and brother left, I stayed with David and we watched Prime. It was a refreshing romantic comedy. Not your typical Hollywood one. It was a realistic (as much as you can be in a film) story. A rare enjoyment. The only thing that that was a bit weird was the main actor looked too much like my brother.

Breathing

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there
and take a breath and hold on tight
spin around one more time
and gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't want to speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside Heaven's door
and listen to you breathing
is where I wanna be yeah

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm
trying to identify the voices in my head
God which one's you
let me feel one more time what it
feels like to feel and
break these calluses off of me
one more time

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside your door
and listen to your breathing
is where I wanna be yeah
where I wanna be

I don't want a thing from you
bet you're tired of me
waiting for the scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
cause I just want to be here now

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside Heaven's door
and listen to you breathing
is where I wanna be yeah
where I wanna be
where I wanna be

I love Lifehouse.

Hey There Delilah

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh its what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

I love this song.

Missed

It was my goal to get the 4:28pm train today. Still sitting in the office at 4:25pm, I realised that wasn't going to happen. I hurried up to try to get out of the place for the 4:40pm train but at 4:35, I was in the same position.

Finally I managed to get out at 5:00pm and almost ran to the train station for the 5:13pm. I got there with a few minutes to spare. I looked at the board and saw that my train has been cancelled.

Got home at 6:40pm.

Never thought I'd say this but I miss driving. Not having to wait. Just get in the car and go home.

Found a card from the post office telling me I've received the salsa dvd but since nobody was home, I had to pick it up from the post office. One little problem - post office closes at 5pm and I can't get home before then.

My brother offerred to get it for me on Monday as he finishes uni early. But Monday! I want it now!

Why couldn't the courier leave it in the mailbox. It's just a dvd. It was my first ebay purchase.

Met up with Amelia for lunch (once I managed to get out of the office). Haven't seen her in God knows how long. She looked a bit odd. She got a different haircut (ok) but had bright green eye shadow and a leopard print cardigan. We didn't get to talk much but it was nice to catch up at least a bit. I'm meeting her next week again.

David's parents invited my family to dinner this Friday. Should be interesting - first time at their house.

Last night was soooo good. Just because David was with me. I realised how similar we were becoming. Or maybe we were similar all along. If there were trillion different wavelengths, David and I would be on the same one. We just get each other. And he loves parts of me I like least.

I wish we were living together already. I miss having him around to do nothing with in the evenings.

We went to Nadine's party on the weekend. April and Ella were there too. It certainly made an impression on April. I was used to it. Nadine made a great fool of herself. I was embarrassed for her but April said, "Don't worry, she won't remember any of it tomorrow".

Dean, her boyfriend, didn't seem to care. He said he had a headache and went to his room to relax.

I was so glad to have David there. April said she could imagine us acting like a married couple. I loved having him there to do little couply things with. Like, saying I was getting thirsty and him immediately getting up to get me a drink. Or me asking him if he wanted to finish my roll. Or when he flicked my hair to tease me or pushed it out of my face as I was talking to Liz. Tiny subtle gestures that show that we're comfortable with each other.

Liz asked him, "So David, do you have any friends for us?" Talk about being straight forward. I'd never be able to ask a guy I barely know something like that.

I wonder if people think our couply ways are annoying or if they make them feel bad. We don't mean to do either. I think I've stopped caring how we come across to other people. I'm just too happy to care.

A Little Bit Better

Day two: better than day one.

Today was a small improvement on yesterday.

My old manager called me in the morning to ask for help. I like being needed. Maybe they can take me back.

I think I enjoyed today 'cause I actually had something to do, the music wasn't playing all day and I was the only one in the office for most of the day. Something I didn't mind at all.

I don't mind listening to music but doing so non-stop all day just takes the joy out of it. I didn't even want to listen to my mp3 player on the way home yesterday, like I usually do.

I tried to get the earlier train today but got on the platform just as it left. Had to wait another ten minutes. Got home after 6pm.

I wonder if I'll ever get home before 5pm again. I'm not even asking for 4:30.

David is going to come over soon so I guess today wasn't a waste.

Work Is Just Money

I miss my old job!

I really tried to be positive today at my new job but all I could do was compare how it wasn't as good as my last one.

I saw David after work which cheered me up tremendously and reminded me that a job is only a job and while I have love in my life, nothing else really matters.

The Wind

When I die, I'll become the wind
And will live above your roof
When you die, you'll become the sun
And will still be higher than me

I'll be the autumn wind somewhere
Flying with you all over the world
You won't understand, and I will invisibly
Whisper warmly, "Hey sun, where are you?"

Only, don't become the sun yet
Listen, I will sing you songs from the roof
I will once again be the one who you breathe
Only thing left is for me to become the wind

When I die, I'll become the wind
I will be the first snow that falls
Laughing, fly with you around the world
And there'll be no one happier than me

When you die, you'll become the sun
And will steal my frost
And flowers will bloom in gardens
And iced hearts will become tears

Only, don't become the sun yet
Listen, I will sing you songs from the roof
I will once again be the one who you breathe
Only thing left is for me to become the wind

I will wait only for your smile
And will listen to your cds
I will pick snowflakes from your eyelashes
Only thing left is for me to become the wind

I saw the videoclip to this song and it's about a girl singing to her paraplegic boyfriend. It's such a sweet song. It reminds me of how much I love David.