Latin American Love

I think I'm obsessed with Latin American culture.

Yesterday at work, I couldn't stop looking through www.latina.com. It had the advantage of being in English and had gems like "He can't dance!!! Should I leave him?" and drinking coffee as part of a healthy eating plan.

I remember David telling me that if a guy can't dance in South America, it would be really hard for him to attract girls. Wow, if only guys in other cultures were like that. I mean, it's great when a guy can dance! But obviously it's not the most important thing in a partner.

There were also several topics on the men cheating. Don't know if it's just me but it seems like a predominant trait in Latin American men (not just from that site, but other media and just from David's stories, although the cheaters that David knows are not limited to males).

Another issue I noticed was that there were a lot of Latin American teenagers who got pregnant (according to the site, it's 53%!) I noticed this recurrence from David's stories. He knows of many girls there who got pregnant 'accidentally'. I don't know, is it the lack of education or just not caring?

Moving on from the negative side, I love Latin American food! Just reading the recipes on the website made me want some, now!

Of course you all know how much I love Latin American music. This was even before I met David.

I don't know why I'm so fascinated with everything Latin American. I always had an interest in some parts but after I started going out with David, I just completely fell in love with it.

Forever Young

I don't want to grow up. Simple as that.

I want to act like a teenager - silly, dramatic, quirky. Of course I still can, but it just looks stupid when I don't look like a teenager anymore.

I wish I did.

I watched lonelygirl15 on YouTube (since it was on the news today*) and there was something about the girl that made me want to be back in that place where you feel like your whole world is in front of you and you have all the time in the world. The place where being crazy and emotional and weird is all part of the charm.

Guess I just have to make the most of the current stage of my life.

*A girl's personal video blog became very popular but was then discovered to be fake, created by some film makers and actors.

Who Could Play You in a Film?

What do the following people have in common?




According to My Hertiage, I look like them.

When I put David's photo in, he actually had celebrities who really did look like him. Here are the ones with the most similarities.



Never expected Joey from Friends but now I can see the similarities.

April apparently looks like Amelie:



That website is very addictive.

Perceptions of Myself

Stolen from another blogger:

Let me know how you see me here and here.

My Secret

I saw the above on PostSecret and it almost made me think David wrote it.

When we went on our first holiday together last year, he got a book of SuDoKu puzzles. When I was at his house, we did some of them together. I know every time I'd see it, I'd always think of him.

Not that it's a secret or anything. I just never thought to mention it.

Another thing I never 'mentioned' to him is Max. Remember him? Sometimes I feel like I should tell David because he played such a big role in my mind (not in my life) but I just don't want him to know. I don't know why, other than it's embarrassing. Sometimes I think it would just come up and when he'll ask me why I never told him, I'd casually say, "It was so unimportant I totally forgot about it". What a lie.

It just feels so stupid to have some guy I only comminucated with online and occasionally by phone for about 5 years. Well, I guess really it was only about 3 since a few years I only talked to him a couple of times. And only out of desperation.

I tell myself he's no big deal, but then why do I feel bad not telling my boyfriend, my best friend about it? Why is it so hard for me to just say it? He knows pretty much everything about me (including things I never even wrote here about) and he's still with me.

Of course he also doesn't know about this blog. I read somewhere that if you can't tell your partner that you have a blog, you have serious issues.

I guess I could tell him, but he'd want to read it then and I don't want him to because that would affect the way I write.

I love that this blog is something just for me (and strangers). It's my door to an alternate world, the one that runs parallel to my real one. And that's the way I like it. I put a lot of effort into making sure it stays that way. Of course there is risk and uncertainty about my anonymity. I could already be close to being discovered. But I guess I still live in this state of mind that no one will know. How else would I be able to write so candidly?

Is it wrong of me not to tell David about some things? Should partners know every detail of each other's lives?

The Selfish Cruel Heart

I was reading Not Proud (similar to, but not in any way better than, PostSecret). People, basically, send in their confessions of things that they did but are not proud of.

I cannot believe how easy it is for some people to cheat on their partners and still say that they love them. It's disgusting and makes me sick. I always knew that cheating was bad but reading some of the confessions makes me physically ill. I don't even know these people but I never felt angrier (and I very rarely experience that emotion). Just want to shake them and hurt them so hard they never experience love again. How can people inflict such pain on others? It's too cruel.

There were also some heart-wrenching confessions that really show humans at its most vulnerable.

I think now that I have someone I love, reading these things makes me more emotional than I would've been if I was single. Just the thought of the one you love not loving you back is more than I can handle. Or the one you trust deceiving you.

I wish everyone valued how rare it is to find real love and not abuse it in such careless and selfish way.

Don't AskMen

I found this site from another blog and was interested to read the other side of female magazines. After reading some articles, I actually got angered by some advice some women give men about women. So totally off the mark, it's unbelievable.

1. How to keep a woman on her toes - wait for her to say (or hint at) the "l-word" first

Firstly, I find intentionally keeping someone on their toes very pointless. It causes unnecessary tension. It's so much better for a relationship if both parties are honest and upfront. If you are ready to tell your loved one how you feel, you should do it and not play stupid games.

2. How to keep a woman on her toes - don't make yourself too available

Ridiculous. If you are free, why cause extra problems by lying and saying you have plans? I know David has a lot of free time because he doesn't hang out with his friends much anymore. It doesn't make me think any less of him.

3. How to keep a woman on her toes - be the one to end the phone call

What the hell for?! Does it really make a difference who ends the conversation first?

4. Tell her that she reminds you of some beautiful famous woman, e.g. Jennifer Lopez

Never ever compare her to any other woman! However if she starts to compare herself, you're welcome to say, "Jennifer Lopez is nothing compared to you! You're the most beautiful woman in the world! And the universe."

There was much more advice that no one should ever take seriously but you can read that yourself.

I guess in truth, every person is different and it's very difficult to put all women as wanting the same things, other than the universal that any human wants - acceptance.

Not Believing in Santa Clause

So glad it's Friday again.

Just read an absoultely fantastic post about being an atheist and also this one. Made me question again whether a relationship can work long-term with a difference in religious belief. The guy who wrote the post has articulated so well all my thoughts that I can't bring up in a heated discussion because my mind goes blank.

Some things that stood out for me:

1. Religious people's arguments are as ridiculous as saying you can have square circles. It's like arguing with a toddler.

2. People who believe in God are delusional.

3. Just because the idea of a God is nice, doesn't mean it's true.

I wonder if David would break up/get really annoyed with me if I send this post to him...

Randong recurring thought: is there a more suitable guy for me than David, and if there is will I ever meet him?

Too Secret

I absolutely love PostSecret. I've never really given any thought to sending my secrets. Then I read this:

"I have made six postcards, all with secrets that I was afraid to tell the one person I tell everything to, my boyfriend. This morning I planned to mail them, but instead I left them on the pillow next to his head while he was sleeping. 10 minutes ago he arrived at my office and asked me to marry him. I said yes."

I started to think of secrets that I have from everyone. Two came to my head straight away. But then, I remembered a few more. Rather than making postcards of them, I'm going to write one key word from each secret here.

1. "... pretended..."
2. "... laughed..."
3. "... deformed..."
4. "... too..."
5. "... control..."

Before thinking about this, I never realised I have quite a few. And I can probably can come up with more. The first two involved other people, the next two will most likely be discovered, and the last one will probably never be told.

Guide To Life

I got this thought from Janice's blog: if I could have a guide to everything what would I want to know?

Here's what:
1. What does David think of me?
2. What is David like really?
3. What career path should I take?
4. Am I going to regret sharing my life in this blog?
5. Does my RG exist?
6. How can I fix my chronic idiopathic urticaria?

Those were the first few things that came to my mind. If you could have an answer to anything, what would you want to know?

I Want It All

I have found a really witty blog that really interested me but then when I read how the blogger is completely content and happy because of her husband and child, I just couldn't read it anymore. Reading about other people's happy love lives makes me feel even worse about mine. It's horrible that I'm at the stage where other people's happiness makes me more depressed.

I hate how my life is passing me by so fast and I can't stop it. Getting my job involved a lot of luck and being at the right place at the right time, so why can't I be lucky in love.

I always said that I'd be able to be happy with having RG and nothing else but I could never be totally happy with everything else but RG.

For some people, their careers are enough or their family and friends are enough. Why can't my life just be enough for me. I feel so spoilt even writing this. So many people would only wish for my life. Am I one of those people who can never be happy? I sincerely hope not.

Sometimes I think, "Would I be really happy if I had RG but not my family?". What if I couldn't talk to my brother ever again or not have my parents' support, or no friends to like me for me, could I really be happy?

I imagine for a tiny moment what it'd be like if I got home to find something horrible happened to my brother and then the next day I find RG. But even thinking that makes me so terribly sick that I vow I'd rather never have a relationship than something bad happening to my brother. Or my parents.

Why can't I just have everything?

Am I Real?

A while ago, I stumbled on an article that talked about a blogger who made up a character and wrote this character's blog as if she was a real person. Apparently, the real person (a middle-aged man) even conversed with his readers pretending to be this fictional woman. He said he did it as research for something or other.

This got me thinking if maybe I could do something like that. I mean it would be fun to pretend to be someone I'm not. I would be able to make up exciting storylines and adventures this fictional character would have. It would be like writing a book, only the readers would believe it was true.

So today, something/someone triggered another thought in me. What if some people think this blog isn't written by a real person? What if they think I'm just a character someone else made up?

(Although honestly, don't you think I would create some more interesting things happen to me?)

Yay, I'm Not Stupid*

Tjej's blog entry today made me feel clever since I got it in about 2 seconds.

* I'm not saying that people who didn't understand are stupid. Just so we're clear.

Different Poems For Valentines

Claudia sent me this. I don't feel so bitter about Valentine's Day anymore.

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

THIS is FREAKY!

Try the test to see how accurate it is!

Click here for some short and sweet poems.

Is this a joke?! I can't believe that such an offensive guy can be so entertaining.

I've just been checking out Top Blogs and all the top places are taken by 'adults only' category. Honestly, can't people be interested more in intellectual topics?! Not that my blog is very intellectual but you have to have some brains to follow my confusing thought processes.

Actually, this got me thinking that my blog doesn't have anything that stimulates the brain cells. It's just a soap opera without anything happening. Almost like "Passions".

Can't wait to see "The Diary Of Ann Frank" on Sunday. I've never read the book but the movie looks interesting.

Check out how much teen angst one person can have here.

Dear Bravenet,

I'm glad you have thought about what I said and I can assure you that you came to the right conclusion. I knew you would.

Now that we're on speaking terms again, I would like to nicely ask you if it would be possible for you to show not only the last 5 visitors, but 50, just like you used to do before, and I'd really like the pretty green numbers back too. That would really be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Sky