New Members of the Mortgage Club

As of this week, David and I are home owners. Never thought that I would own my own place at the age of 23. It's amazing how a couple of years can change your life.

I remember how I was two and a half years ago - completely hopeless about where my life was going. I couldn't imagine that it would actually be the way I always wanted.

One little bump that we're experiencing on our home buying adventure is that our real estate agent won't give us all the keys. He says he doesn't have one and there's nothing he can do about it! Nothing he can do! It's his responsibility to provide us all the keys, isn't it? It just seems so obvious that I'm not even sure if it's a legal requirement.

I called the agency to speak to his manager (as he's been very unprofessional and irresponsible the entire process) but the receptionist said that he would call back. He hasn't. I also called our solicitor and left a message on his voicemail but had no call back. I just want to know if it's the agency's responsibility to provide us all the keys or not.

It's very frustrating.

In other news, I'm loving my dance class. It's really not enough to do it just once a week. I wish I could practise every day but I've been too busy. My 'friend' from first lesson hasn't shown up since.

This weekend, David and I are painting our new place. April asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her and Ella for hen's night costumes but unfortunately I can't. Also, have to pick up my wedding dress.

Although it seems like most things are organised for the wedding and the unit but there's still so much to do:

- get jewellery
- test reception food
- send dj a song list (i.e. choose songs)
- send photographer a list of required photos
- select ceremony
- finish the last batch of invitations (can you believe I still haven't finished them?!)
- connect to a telephone network
- choose best internet plan
- buy carpet
- buy new stove, oven, washing machine, fridge
- buy blinds

And to top this off, I agreed to do a book club with April and read "Gone With The Wind". I didn't want to say no because I've been neglecting all the things I used to like doing.

Bought myself a new skirt today. It was only $10 (original price was $69) so I couldn't say no. I think it would look nice on our honeymoon.

Honeymoon is such a good reason to buy nice new stuff. Not like I go shopping that often anyway.

I've noticed I've become more grown-up in my shopping too. I actually enjoyed browsing the homewares section. Imagining what cushions I'd buy for our new couch, what rug, what tableware. Ahhh...

The Lives of My Friends

Dear Sky,

I'm getting nervous about getting married and my boyfriend hasn't even proposed yet!

We've been together for four years. We talk about marriage A LOT but nothing ever comes out of it. I can see myself spending my life with him but some things about him make me nervous. What if he has an affair? You hear it happens to people who never expect it. He also doesn't want to have kids but I do. He's great with others' kids so he's probably only going through a phase and will change his mind.

He can also be very immature but all guys are at this age, aren't they? Does quarter-life crisis exist? I think he might be having one.

I don't know what to do. Is this the guy for me?

- nervous and confused

Dear nervous and confused,

Get a hold of yourself! If you're getting cold feet before you're even engaged, you're not ready to marry this guy. You have to put your feelings and emotions aside for a little while (as hard as it is to do) and assess your capatability with him rationally.

If you think he might cheat, you obviously don't trust him. A successful relationship cannot exist without trust. Has he given you reason to feel this way or are you getting influenced by things you hear in the media? If it's the latter, you're being too easily influenced by people who shouldn't influence you at all. You have to know his character (which after four years, you should have a clear picture) to see that he's strong enough not to be swayed away from you or give in to weaknesses.

As for kids, that's not something to be taken lightly. If he says he doesn't want to have kids, you have no guarantee that he will change his mind. This sort of 'phase' can last a lifetime.

Immaturity doesn't always disappear with age. Some people have that condition all their lives.

A quarter-life crisis exists in people's heads. Age is no excuse for doing out-of-character things.

Having said all of the above, it doesn't mean that this guy isn't the one for you. He very well might be. Sometimes it's easier to convince yourself that he's the one because you have a history with him that you don't want to throw away. Unfortunately, the longer you wait the worse it will get if in the end you realise he's not the one you want. But only you can decide that.

Love Sky

Dear Sky,

My boyfriend and I have been together since high school. I am ready to take the next step and make a formal committment. The problem is that I know he's not. He has not grown up enough to be the adult partner I want him to be.

For example, we have planned on going overseas next year and as I was about to book the tickets, he called to tell me that he didn't want to go because he wanted to save up for a car. I was devastated because I was really looking forward to it.

I am also looking to buy a property but there's no way I'd want him to move in. I would just end up picking after him. He needs to grow up first.

My parents love him but I am not sure anymore if I want spend my life with him.

I also have a problem with him not caring what I do. He wouldn't even care if I had a stripper for my hen's night. He also never argues which really annoys me. I'd rather he screamed than stayed silent. I even try to provoke him to get any reaction but it doesn't have any effect on him.

Should I wait until he grows up?

- Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Sounds like you're stuck with a guy out of habit. You might've had things in common when you were teenagers but it seems you don't anymore.

His last-minute cancellation on your trip shows not only his lack of reliability but also his complete lack of consideration.

The fact that you don't want to move in with him out of fear that you'd be like a mother figure is a big neon sign that says "Mismatch!" He's not a child anymore and should be able to look after himself.

Of course your parents love him - they only see the surface - his good job, his charm etc. That's not enough for you because you need some quality and substance underneath the perfect exterior to make your relationship work.

If you feel the need to provoke him to get a reaction shows either a bit of immaturity on your part or your need for his attention. If it's attention you want, you need to tell him! It might sound like a cliche but communication is key! If you're being immature, you'd make the perfect couple!

You're right that he still needs to grow up. Unfortunately you never know how long that will take. It's up to you to decide how long you want to wait. Don't wait too long because you don't want to wake up one day when you're 35 and realise that nothing had changed.

Love Sky

Dear all my friends with boyfriends who are 'not ready',

Be strong!!! Make a decision about what you want and stick to it. Let him know where you stand and if he's not standing right there beside you, it's time to cut loose (yes, it will be painful) but not as painful as spending your life with somebody who doesn't realise how lucky he is to have you.

Love you all,
Sky

Sweet Life

David and I ordered our wedding cake on the weekend.

The place looked like a museum. Each cake was a piece of artwork. They offered us some samples which sealed the deal. We're going to have the yummiest cake, which will hopefully look great too.

We also bought floor boards for our new place. It doesn't sound that exciting but I was so excited to be picking out the floor and the thing that goes around it, forgot what it's called.

We get the keys next week!!!! Ohmygod, I can' t believe it, we will be owners of a unit (and "owners of a mortgage" as David put it). This is too grown-up but I'm so ready for it.

On Sunday, met up with the school friends. Handed out invitations to those who haven't received one. They were so excited about the whole thing. We also decided on the theme for the hen's night which I can't wait for! A reason to dress up never goes astray.

Too many exciting things happening!!! I'm bursting with excitement.

Last night brought me back to earth though when at about 9pm, I got bad stomach pains and started losing conscience. I was freaked out but it passed and I'm fine now.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

April is organising my hen's night! Other girls are all eager to have some put in so should be interesting! I'm so looking forward to it. I know it's going to be tons of fun. Still deciding on the theme though.

Missed

It was my goal to get the 4:28pm train today. Still sitting in the office at 4:25pm, I realised that wasn't going to happen. I hurried up to try to get out of the place for the 4:40pm train but at 4:35, I was in the same position.

Finally I managed to get out at 5:00pm and almost ran to the train station for the 5:13pm. I got there with a few minutes to spare. I looked at the board and saw that my train has been cancelled.

Got home at 6:40pm.

Never thought I'd say this but I miss driving. Not having to wait. Just get in the car and go home.

Found a card from the post office telling me I've received the salsa dvd but since nobody was home, I had to pick it up from the post office. One little problem - post office closes at 5pm and I can't get home before then.

My brother offerred to get it for me on Monday as he finishes uni early. But Monday! I want it now!

Why couldn't the courier leave it in the mailbox. It's just a dvd. It was my first ebay purchase.

Met up with Amelia for lunch (once I managed to get out of the office). Haven't seen her in God knows how long. She looked a bit odd. She got a different haircut (ok) but had bright green eye shadow and a leopard print cardigan. We didn't get to talk much but it was nice to catch up at least a bit. I'm meeting her next week again.

David's parents invited my family to dinner this Friday. Should be interesting - first time at their house.

Last night was soooo good. Just because David was with me. I realised how similar we were becoming. Or maybe we were similar all along. If there were trillion different wavelengths, David and I would be on the same one. We just get each other. And he loves parts of me I like least.

I wish we were living together already. I miss having him around to do nothing with in the evenings.

We went to Nadine's party on the weekend. April and Ella were there too. It certainly made an impression on April. I was used to it. Nadine made a great fool of herself. I was embarrassed for her but April said, "Don't worry, she won't remember any of it tomorrow".

Dean, her boyfriend, didn't seem to care. He said he had a headache and went to his room to relax.

I was so glad to have David there. April said she could imagine us acting like a married couple. I loved having him there to do little couply things with. Like, saying I was getting thirsty and him immediately getting up to get me a drink. Or me asking him if he wanted to finish my roll. Or when he flicked my hair to tease me or pushed it out of my face as I was talking to Liz. Tiny subtle gestures that show that we're comfortable with each other.

Liz asked him, "So David, do you have any friends for us?" Talk about being straight forward. I'd never be able to ask a guy I barely know something like that.

I wonder if people think our couply ways are annoying or if they make them feel bad. We don't mean to do either. I think I've stopped caring how we come across to other people. I'm just too happy to care.

Real Life Better than Fiction

I'm in love with Latin music. I've been listening to POBian radio and all they play is Latin stuff. They also play POBian songs mixed with Latin ones. The rhythm is so catchy.

I would've loved to pick a Latin style of song for our first dance but we couldn't find anything appropriate. I really wanted something upbeat but most love songs are slow or sad sounding (if you don't understand the lyrics).

I saw Front Up today and I remembered how captivating that show was. For anyone who never heard of it, there's one guy who walks around Australian cities and starts talking to random people about their lives. It's amazing how much interesting information he gets out of them. One of my favourite documentaries. My other favourite is the 7 Up series and Promises.

Everyone at work has been so wonderful. I've had about five people come up to me and say how sad they are to see me go. I've never felt more appreciated in any other workplace. I really hope people like me at my next job. There's so much bureaucracy in government. So many procedures and processes to make everything 'fair'. They just take lengthy amounts of time 'causing me to leave this job even though everybody is happy with me and I'm happy to be there.

One woman said to me, "It'll be good for you to get out of this retirement village". She didn't understand that I didn't mind. Even the 63 year old next to me is great for a chat. Who knows how the 'young' people are going to be at my next job.

I'm trying to look it at it as a new adventure. I just hope I can get maternity leave when I want to. My probationary period is a year! Never heard of any that long. Not that they can fire me if I get pregnant but still. And I don't want to be like, "Oh, it was an accident" and look like some naive young girl.

The wedding invitations are taking me much longer than planned. I created such a huge job for myself. David offered to help but I'd rather do it myself and not have anyone to blame if something's not perfect. I feel like a one-woman factory. I did the first part. The next involves pasting in all the details and adding decorations.

On Saturday, David and I are going to look for our furniture. I'm so happy we like the same stuff. Last weekend, we had the same opinion about everything we saw. Now that we know what's around, we'll be more goal-orientated.

Claudia is also looking for a place to buy. April and I were surprised that she wasn't moving in with Mike. April said that Claudia told her that they never discussed their future. I (and April) could never be like that. I have to know every detail of where the relationship is going. Don't want to be getting any nasty surprises several years down the track.

So happy with my life right now. I have everything I could possibly want. Never thought I'd be so lucky. Enjoying every moment. Who knows how long it'll last.

Catching up with the Original Best Friend

Met up with Nadine today. Don't remember the last time I saw her. I think it was a year ago. Had such a great time, I wondered why we don't keep in touch more, like we used to.

She told me about her job as a nurse. How seeing a baby being resuscitated made her cry. She said it jumped on the board as it was getting shocks. She told me how adults are so much worse than kids. They whinge and can't accept that sometimes there's nothing that can be done about their pain. Kids, on the other hand, are much more accepting and don't complain as much. She said they were so understaffed a student had to do the work of a nurse without being seen by any doctors, otherwise the patients would suffer.

It's an interesting line of work she got herself into.

It was also good to chat to her about life of cohabitation. How she and Dean share the chores. We were eating sushi as we were talking about it and the cleaner just walked by as I was telling Nadine how I told David from the start that, "There's no way I'm cleaning the toilets!" I must've said it too loud because the cleaner gave me the dirtiest look.

A few minutes later we were talking about Liz and how she only had physical relationships with guys. Nadine exclaimed, "You can't base your relationship on sex!" and all the tables around us turned around.

Afterwards we decided to go for a walk. As we were browsing different homeware, I realised that I had more in common with Nadine than with April. We were both on the same level where we had long-term partners with whom we were planning on spending our lives. We had the same problems of buying property, getting furniture, which brand of appliances was better.

We laughed about the same issues of having your boyfriend sleep over at your house with your parents there. She told me how one day her Dad said to her, "I know that you sleep with Dean, I can hear the noise from your room, but I just wanted to ask you, 'Are you happy'?" She said she was still trying to absorb the first part of the conversation before being able to say anything. I understood that it was hard to be completely silent when beds creak no matter how quiet you think you are but man, you just don't want to know that your parents know.

Nadine's Dad is a classic though, she reminded me of the time we were at our piano teacher's house and all the Mums were there talking to the teacher about their daughters growing up when Nadine's Dad piped in, "Well, Nadine doesn't have her period yet!" She didn't speak to him for a week. He didn't even get what he said that was wrong. She said he brought it up at dinner a few weeks ago and it was almost like experiencing it the first time. He still didn't get what so wrong about it.

Time flew by so quickly. My new job will be close to where she's studying so we might have more chances to meet up for lunch.

It's her birthday party soon so will see her then as well.

Before she left, she said, "It's weird having to worry about someone else all the time. I have to let somebody else know when I'm coming home because he'll be waiting for me. But it's also kinda nice, having someone there waiting for you."

I can't wait till David and I live together. I'm getting very impatient. We're at the point where we get frustrated if we don't see each other.

We went to look for furniture yesterday and I was so happy that we have the exact same taste. We said the same things at the same time which was freaky, but oh so great!

Girls Night In

Had a great time at April's last night. So great that I only got home at 1am.

Ella was already there when I got there, making dinner. April has been home alone for a week as her parents are overseas so she was making the best of her time.

After dinner April and Ella introduced me to some of Lifehouse other songs and I've fallen in love with "Breathing", especially this part:

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside your door
and listen to your breathing
is where I wanna be

That part really tugged on some heart strings. I also loved the lyrics of "Everything":

find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again

you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life
to my soul
you are my purpose
you're everything

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this

All I could think was, "I wish David was here so just his one look could convey all the words of all those songs".

I couldn't help but sense that they loved those songs for the wish of having someone feel like that about them.

April and Ella said, "By the time we have kids, your kids will be able to baby-sit them."

We played Cluedo and I won.

Then we just talked. About relationships, as it's the most common topic with us. I was surprised to learn that April would want to have a separate account when she gets married. Then she and Ella were counting down when they needed to meet their future husbands for them to get married at their preferred ages.

April said, "Ok, so for me to get married at 25, I need to be engaged to him for a year, then I need to have gone out with him for a year before that. That means I have to meet him now. Oh wait, where would my whole 'living with him for a year' be? Ok, stuff that, we'll live together after we get married... Maybe we can move together after 6 months. That could work."

"Anything to cut corners, right?" I added.

"Of course, no time to waste... Oh crap, I need to meet him now."

Then Ella exclaimed, "So what are we doing here, sitting around the heater, instead of being out meeting them?!"

April also changed her view of there being only one person that's right for you. Actually she became a lot like me and doesn't believe in fate anymore. Ella is still optimistic.

I was happy to share my views of relationships and they were happy to listen since I was speaking from experience. I found April quite naive about it all. She was pretty much of the opinion that if the guy didn't have the same views as her, she'd break up with him. I had to explain that it wasn't that simple. When you have feelings for somebody, you want to be able to overcome all the obstacles, no matter how impossible they seem.

April said, "Soon when you have kids, you'll be so different to us. You'd have adult things to think about." I replied, "I think about adult things now but I still don't feel that different."

It's actually weird that even though I'm getting married and about to have a mortgage, I feel just like I did a few years ago, only much happier.

On Friday, David looked at me and said, "Babe, you don't look like someone who's getting married." I told him I was breaking stereotypes and he said, "You always like to break stereotypes."

As I was chatting with April and Ella, I had fleeting moments of thinking about David.

Ella wasn't as talkative and sometimes I wondered if it was because we haven't known each other for that long or if she was just not as opinionated as April and me.

I drove home in such a peaceful state of mind. There's nothing like having a good long talk about everything and anything with good girlfriends.

Today in the morning, I called David and had a good talk with him which made me realise that no matter how wonderful your girlfriends are, nothing beats having a guy friend who's in love with you.

I miss David more than I can say.

Off to POB

In two days I will be in POB. I really cannot believe that tomorrow I will be flying there. Time flies so quickly.

Today was the first day I actually got excited about going. Before, it was more of a "I gotta see my grandparents because I don't know when else I can" but now it's like "YAY!!! I'm going to Europe!" And yay, I'm leaving the busiest time at work to enjoy myself while my manager and other worker scramble madly to cope.

I've also been told that Elaine is happy to take me out while I'm there and return the favour. I'm very happy about that as otherwise I'd probably be stuck with my Mum and grandparents. My cousins are not exactly the types to take me out to good places.

I'm a bit fearful of the danger factor when going to POB but I guess it's always scarier when you're not there. Going on about your life over there makes you not notice it so much.

Everyone at work was jealous because they wanted to go instead of me to one of the most interesting cities in Europe. The best part is that I will actually understand the language.

Things I'm most looking forward to are POBian food, television and radio (which I'll probably get over after a few days) and of course seeing my grandma who is absolutely hilarious. And maybe she can introduce me to some of her well-known friends.

One thing I'm a little bit annoyed about is that I had my second session of SPL yeserday and my legs have some rash on them which doesn't seem to be fading. I don't remember this side effect last time. And it's summer there! How will I go swimming or even wear anything shorter than pants? Anyway, I still have hope that it will go away in a few days as it's similar to the rash I used to get when epilating.

Beauty is pain.

There's this saying in POB which parents tell their kids when they get a scratch or a bruise, "It'll heal before the wedding". I really hope this heals before my wedding!

April is going to Europe too, straight after I come back so I won't see or speak to her for five weeks! That's going to be weird since we speak at least once every week and are always up to date with each other's lives, even the most miniscule details (e.g. "A guy sat next to me in the lab and he's talking really loudly on the phone. Now his friend came and they are talking really loudly together. Ok, they left.")

Not seeing David for two weeks will be weird too but we'll probably talk on the phone. His Mum told me to enjoy my time there and do lots of crazy things because David won't find out anyway! David wasn't pleased with her encouraging me to do things she was hinting at.

I'm disappointed David won't be able to meet me at the airport when I return as I always wanted to experience such a romantic scenario. Unfortunately his university decided to make him sit an exam at that time. Seriously, no considerations. However, he will come to the airport with me tomorrow and we can have a not very romantic good-bye. With my parents there (as April pointed out when I told her of the situation).

I still haven't packed so I better go and do that 'cause David will come over soon. Too bad he won't fit into a suitcase.

Back to the Girls

I never realised how much I missed hanging out with the girls until I was actually with them, laughing my head off.

It was so long since all five of us (April, Christine, Claudia, Amelia and I) went out together. Ok, so Evan was there but he has long been our shadow (but as April pointed out he came out of his shell, after 8 years of knowing us). Mike came as well but he was pretty quiet. That guy gets offended too easily and needs to learn to come up with some good replies. David, unfortunately wasn't there. His void was especially noticed when the girls wouldn't enjoy some classic foreign songs played by a live band. They're a bit immature when it comes to music taste and only like the anglo-speaking popular stuff.

Amelia met us after not getting through the interview process for a flight attendant. It was her 2nd try. She said their marked height wasn't accurate as she measured herself at home and satisfied their required criteria.

We all thought it'd be cool if Amelia got to be a flight attendant. She definitely looked the part.

Christine got into a bit of an altercation with some women. Here's what happened. After we left the cafe, we saw a drugged out looking guy on the ground. We proceeded to discuss what we wanted to do next when two ladies walked by and also saw the guy. They went into the cafe to tell someone to call an ambulance. When they came out, one woman said, "Watch him until the ambulance gets here."

April and I were like, "Why should we watch him?!" but then Christine yelled, "We're not watching him, bitch. We are just discussing where to go next so don't make any fucking assumptions." Then it dawned on April and I that the woman said her comment sarcastically because she thought we were standing there watching this guy. Christine didn't stop there, she kept yelling at this woman who yelled back.

The rest of us looked at the ground and pretended to be invisible. Even Evan told Christine to calm down.

There's a never a dull moment when Christine's around.

On the train back, I kept talking about buying property to April but she wasn't saying anything so I changed the subject to something that she could relate to. It's hard to believe but I feel a lot more grown-up now that I'm getting married.

Came home later than expected and David came over which was nice as always, even thought I felt weird. If I'm honest with myself, I felt a little annoyed/sad that David wouldn't have been able to join in on our jokes if he was there. Started thinking things that were probably not appropriate but quite scary. I'm even scared to write them in case they are significant.

Sometimes I get in that sort of state of mind where I start questioning everything and not having any concrete answers can be quite worrying.

Anyway, as always, I completely changed my track of thought.

But then...

You know that movie scene where the two main characters are about to kiss and the atmosphere is all charged, their lips come close... but then the phone rings? They hold still, almost thinking that the phone will stop and the scene can continue but the phone keeps ringing for so long that any built-up tension disappears.

And the audience thinks, "Typical".

Well, when David and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary on the weekend and we were in the middle of a very similar moment, my mobile rang. Since it wouldn't stop, I reached for it and saw that it was Christine. I decided not to pick up. Didn't want to give any explanations on what I was doing and decline any invitations to meet them.

Today, I called Christine and explained that I didn't hear my phone and when I realised, it was too late to call back. Surprisingly she didn't believe a word of it and said, "It's ok, we thought you didn't want to be interrupted" with a knowing smile in her voice.

I was a bit embarrassed because it was true. I guess she had many similar moments with Evan.

Makes you realise cliches aren't only in movies; they densely populate real life too.

I Know You

On Friday night, Ella invited April, me and David to dinner with her friends and their friends and friends of their friends... It was a pretty big group.

I sat next to one of Ella's good friends (who I met briefly once before). We chatted the way you do with someone you just met. She told me about her job, I told her about mine, discussed the menu and smiled a lot.

At the end of the night, she went to talk to another lady who sat at the end of our table. All of a sudden they called me and asked whether I used to work at some company. I told them I didn't. The lady next to her kept staring at me and said to Ella's friend, "I am sure you worked there. I know you!"

I looked closely at her face and she didn't look familiar at all. I also couldn't remember working for that company so I just laughed and said to Ella and April, "Isn't it scary that there is someone who looks so much like me out there". I also heard Ella's friend say to the other woman, "I told you she never worked with us!" The woman didn't seem convinced. She just kept staring at me.

Ella's friend told me the suburb of their company and I remembered that I did work in that suburb (the first first temp job I ever had, stapling all day). I told them that I thought I did work there after all and this woman started smiling while April rolled her eyes that I forgot where I used to work. (When you did as many temp jobs as I have, you might forget the one where you were only for a few weeks!)

The woman then excitedly said, "Remember we used to go for walks and you told me you did graphic design and played piano?!" Then it all dawned on me. This woman was the one who asked whether I had a boyfriend and got offended when I asked her whether she had kids. She told me she had a baby recently. No wonder I couldn't recognise her. She looked very different.

What was even more amazing than seeing her was that Ella's friend also worked there and she had lunch with us a couple of times. So we've actually met two years ago, way before I knew Ella.

Isn't it amazing how small the world is?

Still Here

Life has been hectic for me lately. It's gotten so busy that I had to make use of my pocket planner (taken from work and never used until now).

I had something on every day of last week.

Planning a wedding is like a part-time job.

Had some consecutive problems with my eyes. They seem better now so I shouldn't really be online tiring them. (I decided to take 2 days break from the internet and you wouldn't believe how many important emails I missed!)

I lost 3kg in one week which was a bit worrisome (not that I minded but it didn't seem healthy). My Mum thought it was 'cause of stress which was weird since I usually eat more when I stress. David said I was taking on too many things at one time causing me to get overwhelmed.

I'm now concentrating on 1 (well 3) things at a time and I feel better already. I just never thought that it would be so difficult and expensive to plan a wedding and I had fears that after all the planning it wouldn't turn out well or that it wouldn't turn out at all.

Also had some changes at work. My idiot manager lost her job. I guess the big bosses weren't happy with her either. She was very upset. So upset, in fact, that she cried... several times.

I felt guilty for not liking her because before she left she told me how talented I was and that she would be more than happy to give me a reference.

I told a really big fat white lie that she gave great direction and it was great working with her. Oh well, those sort of lies are important. She was already having a horrible week.

Now my new manager is the single 35 year old who I might've mentioned here. She doesn't have much experience in management but she's organised (and hopefully won't kick me out when my contract is up).

On the home front, my brother and I are on speaking terms again which is nice. During our non-talking period, he got himself a girlfriend. A very expensive one who wouldn't pay for anything so he was glad to break up with her last week. I didn't realise how good David had it with me. I mean if you want to be treated equally, you have to act the part.

David said to Andy, "I'm so lucky that way!" Times like these makes me think, "I make a damn good girlfriend".

On the weekend our parents met each other. It went the way I expected it to be - awkward at first but fine later.

We also went out to unofficially celebrate my birthday. David got very mad at my friends because they said they were too tired to stay out late (since we got there after 11pm). He was about to tell them off but I stopped him. I hate unnecessary conflict. I think he was more upset than me.

After he calmed down, we went in to dance which was great fun. He was very sweet. Ria was there with her boyfriend. I was surprised to get a birthday present from her. She congratulated us on the engagemt and said, "I can't believe you're going to be like grown-ups now" and I replied, "Just 'cause we're getting married doesn't mean we're going to be like grown-ups".

This is David's and my philosophy on life - having responsibilities and being independent does not stop you from having good old childish fun.

Lately, I've just been proven over and over again that I'm making the best decision of my life by marrying David. I didn't think it was possible but I'm falling in love with him even more each day.

(After not writing in here for a week, I got worried that this blog would die a slow death where the posts would become more sparse until one day they would all stop. I want to finish this blog on a high note so even though my posts might not be as frequent, I'm still here.)

The Bridesmaids Dilemma

I'm having a problem. I don't know what to do about bridesmaids. It's like having to choose your favourite friends.

I'm fine with ranking my friends in my head but not too comfortable sharing this information with everyone.

If I could have my way, I would pick April, Amelia (I've forgiven her, will tell you later) and Claudia. There is no way I want to have Christine. I only hang out with her because she's part of the group. But how can I have all the others and leave her out? That would be so mean.

Then, I think, it's my wedding, why should I do things just to please everyone else when these people would be quite selfish in other circumstances?

First I decided I would just have April. Everyone knows I'm the closest with her. Not that they wouldn't get upset but at least they wouldn't be left out alone. I also considered having Nadine as well since we were very close and no matter how much we don't talk sometimes, we always keep in touch.

But I'm still not too happy with that scenario, it just doesn't feel right.

So today I came up with an idea. Since I'm not having a conventional wedding, there is no real need for bridesmaids. I will just tell everyone that to fit into my theme of 'enchantment' and 'magic', they can all be my 'fairies' so they get to choose their own outfit to suit the theme but in reality there will be no distinction between them and the rest of the guests. What do you think?

For some reason, I don't think they will understand and might think I've gone a little crazy, making them dress up as modern fairies. (Personally, I would have fun with that if I were in their shoes.)

Any other suggestions?

The Moving Out Club

Another one of my friends is moving out. You might remember me mentioning Sally (especially duing my uni days). She's got a very interesting story but I can't tell you because I still fear someone from my uni reads this blog.

Let's just say she is in a long distance relationship with someone her family doesn't like. Sometimes I think she doesn't like him either. She told me once she was afraid of never finding anyone else. Anyway, long story.

I wonder if her boyfriend finally decided to move to our city and she's moving out with him. Very curious to know all the details.

Well, another "moving-out" friend to add to my growing list.

What Friend?

Amelia messaged me last week because she was "obliged" to tell me that there was a shoe sale near my work. Before, that message would've made me smile but this time, I felt sad. I didn't even reply. Couldn't get the stupid things she said out of my head and I don't think I ever will.

I think once the respect is gone, it's too hard to maintain the same level of friendship.

My Australia Day

What it means to be an Australian to me:

• having a picnic with my close friends (each from a different background) in front of the city's most beautiful view
• watching the theme boats blaring out party music
• getting sunburnt no matter how many times I put on sunscreen - the sun always finds a spot I missed
• listening to free bands
• having dinner at a Korean restaurant with the most fun guy on the planet
• standing in a huge crowd watching the firework spectacle in the sky

Now, to the gossip details.

Amelia brought a shisha. Being the innocent and sheltered person that I am, I had no idea what it was. When she said the word 'smoking', I thought she didn't really mean smoking, but some novelty thing.

April sensed my confusion and motioned with her face that Amelia really was planning on smoking. To say I was shocked would be a bit of an understatement. I knew Amelia was a little crazy but I never thought she could be so stupid. April later said she wasn't surprised.

Since Christine's 11 year old cousin was there, I said to Amelia, "Do you think it's a good idea to smoke that with kids around?" and she replied, "Parents smoke around their kids all the time".

That was a different low. I felt like I lost a friend. I can never respect Amelia again. I don't feel like talking to her. To say something like that... I just had no words.

April and I went for a walk and I found plenty of words to tell her. April was kind enough to listen to how I just couldn't believe Amelia, alhough she wasn't shocked in the slightest.

I expected such things from Christine, but never Amelia. And to say that it was ok to smoke in front of kids 'cause other parents did it! That was just too much. What happend to considering that other adults (not just kids) might not want to inhale smoke and kill their lungs?

The stupidity and selfishness of that all... argh.

Later when a colourful boat with dancers on board came close to where we were and Amelia said to me, "Come on Sky! Let's go and say hello," I just mumbled that I was happy in the shade and didn't want to walk over to the water. She said, "I'm going, life is too short" and happily bounced along the grass in her short white summer dress.

I saw her wave to the boat and remembered her in year 8 at school, when she was a nerdy kid. Would've never expected that plain girl to turn out into someone with a lot of style but no concept of reality.

April said that I just chose to ignore all the hints of Amelia's strange behaviour and just saw her friendly and normal side. I mean let's look at the facts:
- she went out with a married man
- hangs around Georgia (a very disturbed girl)
- brought a baseball bat for her work "for protection"
- went on about inflicting bad revenge on the married guy 'cause she 'thought' (or maybe she knew) that he took advantage of her when she was drunk.

It all adds up.

I told April that I felt like I couldn't believe anyone was sane anymore. I said that if April started smoking and drinking a lot, the world was upside down. April replied, "I can promise you I won't smoke". I waited for her to say the same about getting drunk but she just laughed knowingly.

Now to Part 2 of the day.

After the picnic, April and I met up with Ella and Liz. Liz's relatively new boyfriend came a little later. I was interested in meeting him 'cause he was POBian and also because Liz always complained about him but desperately waited for his calls anyway. I saw him for a minute on NYE but that wasn't enough to form any impressions.

The 10 minutes of seeing him yesterday formed a very strong impression of him. And not a positive one. He pretty much went on about her breast. I don't know if he was trying to be funny but it was getting seriously awkward. Ella, April and I weren't even saying anything anymore but he just went on and on! He was sounding like an immature 15 year old, not a 27 year old man.

After that incident when that guy went to talk on the phone, Liz asked us, "Is he crazy or am I?". Although Liz is crazy, this time it was definitely her boyfriend who was was very inappropriate.

April and I agreed that if you had a problem with you boyfriend, you should go and tell him how bad he made you feel with his comments, not complain to your girlfriends. I bet he didn't even realise how his words affected her.

Later I met up with David and told him about my eventful day. He said he always knew Amelia was weird and the fact that she smoked didn't come as a surprise to him. About Liz's boyfriend, he said if he was there, he'd tell the idiot to be quiet. He said that you don't focus other people's attention to your girlfriend's body, you have to be the one to protect her from others and show respect and not embarrass her. Then he said, "We are the only normal couple".

I think the only people I can really trust is April and David.

Shared Reality

While we were driving to my house and having one of those "I'm so in love with you and don't care if I sound sentimental" discussions, David said to me, "You're the only one I really connect with. We share the same reality".

The last part really got me thinking. Shared reality... Very profound.

Everyone has their own concept of reality, right? It's all a matter of perspective. I guess that's when you get 'a click' with a person - you see life in a similar way.

In my life, I only ever had three 'clicks' (not including any childhood friendships). First one was with Nadine, second with April (probably the biggest sharer of my reality) and third, of course David.

You just get in this zone where you know how the other person thinks and feels. Anyone who ever had that click with someone (whether it be a friend or partner) knows just how wonderful it feels.

If only more people shared the same reality.

Hello 2007!

I had the best New Year's Eve!! (Of course it could've been a little bit better but considering the circumstances, it was a blast.)

My friends are amazing. I love them. I'm a very lucky person.

Unfortunately I can't write exactly what happened but I can say that April asked for us to "get a room" at the hotel. She meant it as an innocent joke but that's far from how that sounded. I'm sure the guy I was trying to set her up with that worked there won't forget her any time soon.

I was told this guy was "not very tall" and "not ugly" so April was expecting a short not very attractive guy. We were both very pleasantly surprised to see an average height quite cute guy. Just goes to show that you should never trust a guy's description of another guy.

Too bad April didn't get a good chance to talk to the guy. Hopefully something better can be organised later.

When April and I got back to the club where we were before we went to the hotel at midnight, Ella was starting to get very nervous because she was about to meet a guy she met on myspace. She said they talked for 7 hours in the last two days and he was going to come to the club at 1am. She was very open about meeting this guy. It's like meeting someone off the internet is not taboo anymore.

April went to meet him with her while Amelia and I danced. Some guy came out of nowhere to ask me to dance. I politely declined but he stretched his hand out to me and said, "Come on! You look like you're having so much fun. Let's dance!" I was flattered. Guys never asked me to dance before I had a boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder if I look more approachable now that I have one. After I declined his offer, he asked Amelia but she also said no. Don't know why, she could've danced with him.

After April came back (alone 'cause she left Ella with the guy downstairs), I told her about my "Theory of Two" - a guy will only ask you to dance if there's only one friend with you. Guys feel too intimidated by large groups of girls. This was proven again when April left for a moment and the same guy came up again! Couldn't believe he had the guts to ask us to dance after we told him no the first time. Then there were a few other guys trying to dance with us (without asking).

When they played the song from Grease (We Go Together) and it was just me, Amelia and April, I thought life couldn't get better than this - dancing with my two best girl friends. Amelia looked great with her new "Russian Spy" hairstyle and glittery gold retro dress (only she could pull off), April looked beautiful in her black halter dress and her glossy black hair and I felt pretty good in my cotton wringed summery black and white dress and my red shoes and red accessories. I wish I could have a picture of the three of us dancing.

Later, we met the guy that Ella met on myspace. He looked all right but he was quite short. When we left the club to go home, all Ella could talk about was how the guy didn't look like in the photo. She said she felt very confused and didn't know whether she liked him. April and I advised her to meet up with him again to get to know him better. She thought that was a great idea but she was obviously in a bit of a shock because he looked different in photos.

That's the thing with meeting someone from the internet. You get a certain picture of them and in reality they might be very different.

It was a very interesting night. Wished I could spend more time with David but what can you do.

End of a great party always makes me feel a little sad but what cheers me up is knowing that as long as I have these people, I don't have to wait for next New Year's Eve for another fun party.

A Little Annoyed

I'm a little annoyed Christine tried to change my New Year's Eve plans after I spent time organising it.

I'm a little annoyed Claudia and Mike would rather go to another party on New Year's Eve.

I'm a little annoyed I have to go buy the tickets for New Year's Eve by myself.

I'm a little annoyed I have to rush to meet Amelia at a specific time. (Although I'm very happy she's coming.)

There are many other things I feel a little annoyed about.

But even being in my 'a little annoyed' mood, I can't help but feel very lucky because I have what matters most.