Not Believing in Santa Clause

So glad it's Friday again.

Just read an absoultely fantastic post about being an atheist and also this one. Made me question again whether a relationship can work long-term with a difference in religious belief. The guy who wrote the post has articulated so well all my thoughts that I can't bring up in a heated discussion because my mind goes blank.

Some things that stood out for me:

1. Religious people's arguments are as ridiculous as saying you can have square circles. It's like arguing with a toddler.

2. People who believe in God are delusional.

3. Just because the idea of a God is nice, doesn't mean it's true.

I wonder if David would break up/get really annoyed with me if I send this post to him...

Randong recurring thought: is there a more suitable guy for me than David, and if there is will I ever meet him?

The Scariest in Life

Can't help but think that this time last week, I was enjoying myself with BG3. Maybe this time next week, I will be doing the same.

Although yesterday after my 'church experience', it became too clear that I could never have a serious relationship with him since he believes in God. I guess I could ignore that bit for now. I think I can ignore most things.

After the church concert last night, April and I almost got hit by a car while we were crossing the road (on green light!). The car swirled around from the corner, not even slowing down and hitting April's bag which totally freaked me out 'cause I thought it hit her side. I automatically (and stupidly) stretched out my arm to push the car back from her and ended up twisting it a bit.

My Dad later asked if I got the car's number plate but I was too shaken up to think of that. All I could think was if April was ok 'cause after I heard the sound of the car hitting April's bag (and I didn't realise it was just the bag), and she stumbled backwards, I thought she was going to fall over and that totally scared me because I would not be able to deal if anything had happened to April.

Last night I saw a girl who used to go to my school and she told us that one of my favourite teacher's son died in an accident while working for the army. Couldn't stop thinking about it because I remember how she used to tell us about being against him working in the army. Her daughter also did ODV with me when I was at uni so it's scary to think of what they must be going through.

Then, the singer from yesterday also said how one of his closest friends died when he was 22. I guess in this sense, religion would be comforting but since I don't believe there's another life after death, it scares me more than anything in life.

The Brainwasher

I should've known that going to a concert at a church was not such a great idea. (Especially since I could've been out bowling with David and his friends which April so kindly reminded me of.)

It was so silly and naive of me to think that just because Ellen (who knows I'm not religious) invited me to see some musician at her church, it didn't mean he was going to be singing Christian songs.

When April and I got there, we sat apart from the rest of the people because we wanted to have a private conversation about things that we usually talk about. However, Ellen decided that it was a great time to get all her church friends to come and make us feel welcome. Everyone was so friendly and nice, I decided not to tell them to go away and let me and April entertain ourselves. Not sure how many times I went through the standard introductory chit-chat. Was very glad I had a job and could flaunt it around.

"Oh, I do graphic design at [company]"
"Wow! Isn't that really hard to get into?"
"Yeah, but you know, I was lucky."

I think April enjoyed saying that she did Law but for some strange reason people didn't look as impressed as others usually did.

"Oh you do Law? Oh my God, graphic design, that's so cool!"

Even though the singer had a nice voice and I liked his tunes, I absolutely couldn't take his lyrics. Other than all the parts about Jesus dying for us, personally, what really angered me was when he said, "People say that innocent people died during the 9/11 attacks. Innocent of what? Maybe murder but were they really innocent? Jesus was truly innocent and it was a real tragedy when he died because he was the only one who was pure."

Excuse me while I go and throw up.

I felt sick listening to what he had to say. He was retelling stories from the Bible as if he was there. And he said that he was there which really made me pity him even more.

Also got agitated when he said that the best way to live was to extreme. That is the absolute worst way to be. It's the extreme people who cause all the problems. There needs to be balance.
Decided that I hate the word 'worship' because to me that implies not thinking for yourself and just following someone else entirely. So stupid.

And he was talking about God as if he was a person who he knew personally. When people personalise ideas and make them human, it just makes it more certain that they are not real.

I felt pity and anger and frustration tied together while I was sitting there watching everyone pay attention to what he was saying.

I feel the world would be a better place without religion. It's like one huge brain-washing cult that took over so much of the population.

Heaven In Hell

Warning: Religious people may find this offensive.

In the morning, just before my exam, instead of going through the topics in my head, I started thinking about heaven and hell. Don't ask me why, it just came around somehow. Anyway, although I don't believe in either, I thought that if there was one, I'd much rather go to hell. Think about it, all the 'perfect' people who have blind faith in God and try to be saintly will go to heaven and the rest (i.e. the fun people) will be in hell (since religious people believe that people who don't believe in God will go to hell). Hence, heaven will be a boring place full of hypocrites, while hell would be just like earth, only without the boring hypocrites.

For the religious people who lost to temptation and read the last paragraph, and who now think I'm a horrible/stupid person for saying that, I just want to say that I'm sorry you feel that way because I find it extremely naive to have blind faith in something that most likely doesn't exist.

It's interesting that the idea of God came about as a scientific reason for the way nature works. Now, after people have proven scientific reasons for nature, some people still believe in God. And no, the Bible is not proof that He exists.

Yes, I'm sure all you religious people think that I will go to hell for writing all of this. Well, I just can't wait!