WANTED: A Nice Surprise

Yesterday night, I was feeling emotional about not having a boyfriend so I messaged Max to ask him if he wanted to talk and maybe meet up some time in the near future to which he replied that he wasn't sure. So I asked him why he wasn't sure and when he will be because I didn't want to think that we'd meet soon when we never will. He still hasn't replied. Probably scared him off. I don't care. I'm sick of small talk that leads nowhere.

I'm generally sick of everything right now. Max has no right to start messaging me after months of not talking and then just cutting it off for no reason (that I know of). It drives me insane because I need to know where things are going and not be left hanging with question marks.

I went Christmas shopping with Nadine today. So that means that I saw her for the first time in 5 months. It sure didn't feel like it. Probably 'cause I don't need to see her more often since she depresses me. Although right now, everything depresses me. I depress myself. I'm bitter at everything. I was completely fine before Ben emailed him so technically it's his fault. And I would've been fine if he was older than me. So it's his parents fault that he was born a year after me. Yeah, I know I'm talking nonesense but that's how I feel. Nothing makes sense.

Nothing great has happened for ages. I need some nice surprise.