The Naked Guy

On ANZAC day, while everyone was enjoying their long weekend, I had to go to uni. Our teacher decided that since we usually have class on Mondays, we'd have to make up for the missed one which we could either do at the end of the semester, cutting into our holidays or we could just have it on Monday. I was very annoyed with this arrangement because it's not like people who don't go to work on a public holiday have to make up for it on another weekend. If that was true, there'd be no point in having public holidays.

In class we were supposed to draw a nude male model. I thought we were going to start drawing when the teacher told the guy that we were going to begin and he took his clothes off. Never having been in these sort of situations, I didn't know if it was rude to look at him before we started drawing so I decided to focus on the pretty picture on the wall.

Instead of getting to it, the teacher decided that it was a good time for introductions and asked the guy to tell us a bit about himself, while he was naked! As soon as I took my focus off the pretty picture on the wall, my face started to contort into a giggle because it was so wierd to have to take the naked guy seriously. He had no clothes on and was freely contributing to an intellectual conversation about the history of drawing nudes. That was too odd.

I never thought that seeing a nude model would make me laugh. I blame the girl next to me who at the beginning of class put the idea of giggling into my head ("I hope I won't giggle," she said).

I didn't want to be seen as the immature girl who couldn't distinguish between a 'nude model' and a naked guy. This was art, not some joke.

I tried thinking of a grey fabric (something I used to envision when my eyes watered). However, this time, this image failed me. I was looking more immature by the second, trying to force my face into a serious and sophisticated expression.

Drastic measures had to be taken. I had to think of something very depressing to save my reputation and keep my pride. Now, what could really depress me? Oh! How could I even give that question any thought? I imagined the grim reality of never getting married. Any smile was immediately wiped off my face. Although I did start to see the ridiculousness of thinking about never getting married while the naked guy was talking about new laws that prevented people from taking photos on the beach.

When we finally got to the drawing part, things started to get better, apart from me being confused whether it was rude to look at his penis. I decided to avoid that part and focus on the muscles in his shoulders and back which I thought were the safest to draw.

While I was drawing, I heard the teacher ask the girl next to me why she was avoiding drawing the naked guy's penis. Straight away I realised I was doing the same so I quickly added that anatomy part to my drawings. I didn't want her to think of me as a prude and childish (as I was proving myself to be). The teacher walked past my drawings without commenting which was a relief. However, she did comment on the works of the girl to the left of me. Unlike the girl on the right and myself, she only drew the naked guy's genitals. Every drawing was of the naked guy's penis from a different angle. So I wasn't the only one with 'issues'.

At the end, our teacher offerred to photocopy all of our works and give it to the naked guy "for reference". The naked guy politely declined.