My Boss is Stupid

Before a few months ago, work was great! I liked everyone. Everyone liked me. It was a pleasure to be there.

This was all before my direct manager decided to follow her husband to another city and leave her position to what can only be classed as a "very self-confident idiot". And let me tell you, that type of idiot is the worst.

Let me illustrate my point.

SCI (i.e. self-confident idiot) asked me to make a poster of the map with all our organisation's locations to send to potentional international clients. Easy. I found a very clear map from our database, added some 'design elements' and voila.

She looked at it carefully and said, "Sky, can you please add circles around the CBD, every 10km so they can see how far everything is". I pointed to a very clear map scale in the corner. She looked at it, laughed and said, "Sky, who can even read map scales? Add the circles."

I did not argue, smiled and said, "Sure".

(Only a couple of days ago, we got a community college course catalogue in the mail and my Dad and I heartily laughed at the course "Reading Maps" - only $75!)

Now, if this example wasn't enough to convince you, I will tell you of another one.

SCI asked me, "Can you design a poster?" I said, "Sure, what would you like it to be about?" She replied, "I don't know. Just do the design and I'll think about it later".

Really, I can go on and on. But I won't. Well, actually, one more example (just to make myself feel better).

We went to a meeting with external design agency and they asked, "How would you measure the success of your new corporate image?" An excellent question, I thought. She replied almost immediately, "I'll just know it."

I also get to hear her constantly complain how bad everything is and how she's going to change everything because she knows "what's good and what's not". If only that was the case, I might not get so annoyed at her. Unfortunately she has the worst ideas that I (and everyone else in my team) has to go along with.

She's also the type that likes to 'delegate'. She often asks me to deal with difficult client situations (even though she's the one who should do it) and print off documents (that I've already printed and she lost) for her "to make things easier".

The main problem is that she can't even do her job. One of her main responsibilities is to proofread/edit all text that comes in for advertising, brochures, newsletters etc. First day she joined our team, she gave me the article and said, "Sky, can you please proofread it. I never notice mistakes". Not only does she not notice them but she makes the silliest ones. I'm not one to write correctly, but to notice a professional's mistakes is just not right.

It's good that I have experience working with difficult people so I don't take it personally and don't try to object. The good thing is that she seems to like me. Thank God. Makes my work life just that little bit easier.

Would love to hear of any other "difficult boss" stories. It'll make me feel better.

My Australia Day

What it means to be an Australian to me:

• having a picnic with my close friends (each from a different background) in front of the city's most beautiful view
• watching the theme boats blaring out party music
• getting sunburnt no matter how many times I put on sunscreen - the sun always finds a spot I missed
• listening to free bands
• having dinner at a Korean restaurant with the most fun guy on the planet
• standing in a huge crowd watching the firework spectacle in the sky

Now, to the gossip details.

Amelia brought a shisha. Being the innocent and sheltered person that I am, I had no idea what it was. When she said the word 'smoking', I thought she didn't really mean smoking, but some novelty thing.

April sensed my confusion and motioned with her face that Amelia really was planning on smoking. To say I was shocked would be a bit of an understatement. I knew Amelia was a little crazy but I never thought she could be so stupid. April later said she wasn't surprised.

Since Christine's 11 year old cousin was there, I said to Amelia, "Do you think it's a good idea to smoke that with kids around?" and she replied, "Parents smoke around their kids all the time".

That was a different low. I felt like I lost a friend. I can never respect Amelia again. I don't feel like talking to her. To say something like that... I just had no words.

April and I went for a walk and I found plenty of words to tell her. April was kind enough to listen to how I just couldn't believe Amelia, alhough she wasn't shocked in the slightest.

I expected such things from Christine, but never Amelia. And to say that it was ok to smoke in front of kids 'cause other parents did it! That was just too much. What happend to considering that other adults (not just kids) might not want to inhale smoke and kill their lungs?

The stupidity and selfishness of that all... argh.

Later when a colourful boat with dancers on board came close to where we were and Amelia said to me, "Come on Sky! Let's go and say hello," I just mumbled that I was happy in the shade and didn't want to walk over to the water. She said, "I'm going, life is too short" and happily bounced along the grass in her short white summer dress.

I saw her wave to the boat and remembered her in year 8 at school, when she was a nerdy kid. Would've never expected that plain girl to turn out into someone with a lot of style but no concept of reality.

April said that I just chose to ignore all the hints of Amelia's strange behaviour and just saw her friendly and normal side. I mean let's look at the facts:
- she went out with a married man
- hangs around Georgia (a very disturbed girl)
- brought a baseball bat for her work "for protection"
- went on about inflicting bad revenge on the married guy 'cause she 'thought' (or maybe she knew) that he took advantage of her when she was drunk.

It all adds up.

I told April that I felt like I couldn't believe anyone was sane anymore. I said that if April started smoking and drinking a lot, the world was upside down. April replied, "I can promise you I won't smoke". I waited for her to say the same about getting drunk but she just laughed knowingly.

Now to Part 2 of the day.

After the picnic, April and I met up with Ella and Liz. Liz's relatively new boyfriend came a little later. I was interested in meeting him 'cause he was POBian and also because Liz always complained about him but desperately waited for his calls anyway. I saw him for a minute on NYE but that wasn't enough to form any impressions.

The 10 minutes of seeing him yesterday formed a very strong impression of him. And not a positive one. He pretty much went on about her breast. I don't know if he was trying to be funny but it was getting seriously awkward. Ella, April and I weren't even saying anything anymore but he just went on and on! He was sounding like an immature 15 year old, not a 27 year old man.

After that incident when that guy went to talk on the phone, Liz asked us, "Is he crazy or am I?". Although Liz is crazy, this time it was definitely her boyfriend who was was very inappropriate.

April and I agreed that if you had a problem with you boyfriend, you should go and tell him how bad he made you feel with his comments, not complain to your girlfriends. I bet he didn't even realise how his words affected her.

Later I met up with David and told him about my eventful day. He said he always knew Amelia was weird and the fact that she smoked didn't come as a surprise to him. About Liz's boyfriend, he said if he was there, he'd tell the idiot to be quiet. He said that you don't focus other people's attention to your girlfriend's body, you have to be the one to protect her from others and show respect and not embarrass her. Then he said, "We are the only normal couple".

I think the only people I can really trust is April and David.

"We can't ban alcohol! Ugly girls would never have sex again."

- POBian radio

Charming.

Shared Reality

While we were driving to my house and having one of those "I'm so in love with you and don't care if I sound sentimental" discussions, David said to me, "You're the only one I really connect with. We share the same reality".

The last part really got me thinking. Shared reality... Very profound.

Everyone has their own concept of reality, right? It's all a matter of perspective. I guess that's when you get 'a click' with a person - you see life in a similar way.

In my life, I only ever had three 'clicks' (not including any childhood friendships). First one was with Nadine, second with April (probably the biggest sharer of my reality) and third, of course David.

You just get in this zone where you know how the other person thinks and feels. Anyone who ever had that click with someone (whether it be a friend or partner) knows just how wonderful it feels.

If only more people shared the same reality.

The M Word

A couple has been going out for a while. The guy says, "We've been going out for a while, I think we should take the next step". The girl thinks, "Ohmygod, he's going to propose". The guy says, "Would you move in with me?"

Yes, asking to move in is the new step between dating and marriage. At least it seems to be nowadays.

Personally, I'm against it. You can blame that opinion on my mother who convinced me that such a thing was a bad bad idea.

In theory, moving in together before marriage seems like a great concept, right? I mean it's like a trial run for marriage.

Only not quite so. When you move in together, you still have your stuff divided (e.g. bank accounts) so you might have problems over dividing the bills. Then, if you have a big argument, it would be just so easy to separate, whereas if you are married you'd try harder to work things out. Because big arguments pass.

April is all for moving in first. She says it's better to get separated than get divorced. But moving in doesn't have the commitment of marriage. You don't need to try to work things out when it's much simpler to just move out.

Some people say that marriage is just a piece of paper. If if it's just a piece of paper, why can't you just get it, huh? I say - excuses of commitment phobics.

Another problem I have with moving in together is how do you move on to marriage from that? Let's say, you've worked out your problems and have settled in happily. What next? Guys are usually reluctant to propose, especially when they have all they need. No need to go that extra step.

In order for marriage to work, both parties have to go into it with a full plan for living together, and complete consideration of this important life decision. It should not be taken lightly. Both people have to be full committed to it.

I mean, of course the transition would be difficult. Merging lives isn't easy and is a huge change. Much better to go into it with a plan to stay, rather than "will see how it goes".

If you think you might not be able to live with your partner, why move in at all?

From my own experience, I already know that moving in with David will be extremely difficult for me. I mean I honestly don't know how I'd be able to sleep with someone who snores and doesn't see the importance of closing the toilet lid. (All I had to do was go on a holiday with him to find that out.) But am I willing to leave him because of that? Of course not!

When you love a person, and I mean really love them, you would be fine with putting up with many things because in the end, you just want to be with them.

The Rabbit in the Hat

You know that girl with a giggle behind her eyes? Well, that's me at the moment because I'm sharing a joke with myself which I find very funny.

Playing with other people's minds can cause me great amusement, especially when these people think they're very smart and don't have the slightest idea how they are the topic of my fun.

Now, in a certain light this may seem cruel but let me assure you no one has been hurt in my game of 'misleading'.

The funny thing is that I haven't even lied, and it's amazing how people pick up things that stand out the most and don't see anything in between. I guess that's the psychology behind magic tricks.

I have to go and wash my hair now.

Who's the Prettiest One of All?

Read an article today that POBian women are considered to be one of the most beautiful in the world (along with other countries in that region). I almost laughed. That article received many comments which showed that beauty is in the eye if the beholder.

Some men had a thing for Asian women, others liked Latin American ones. One guy said that even though he found Slavic and Scandinavian women hot, his Aussie girlfriend had the best sense of humour (i.e. she could open a beer bottle with her teeth - just hilarious).

One guy said that he liked POBian women because of their "big deep arctic" eyes and because "not only do they have hot bodies, they also, like, read".

Since I'm very likely going to go to POB in 6 months, I'll be sure to check out all the 'hot women' 'cause last time I've been there, I couldn't see them.

But yes, there are some very good looking POBian women, too bad there aren't any similiar POBian men. Such a rare thing to see a 'hot' POBian male. Not that I'm looking or anything. (And anyway, after David, I don't find Caucasian men attractive anymore.)

Actually I have a little secret that I'll share with you. Last night I dreamt that I met a very hot POBian guy who was deeply intelligent and just so deliciously witty I was ready to leave David. Now I feel a little guilty that my subconscience was capable of that.

I guess I have to face reality that that guy in my dreams doesn't exist and that even though David is not 'perfect', who freaking is? Right?

As I was checking my blog stats, I noticed someone from POB found my website and looked through it. Don't know why but I got a little excited. Doubt they realised I was from there too.

My work life has been so lifeless that I was planning on joining a theatre group. I emailed several about membership and they all have annual fees. I don't want to pay $40 for something I'm not even sure I'd like. I'm not interested in painting sets or acting and it didn't look like they give you opportunities to assist with production/casting/directing. I was hoping I could just go and have a look first but I don't think that's a possibility. I guess me being part of theatre life was not meant to be.

Wish things would come easier. Like opportunities just presenting themselves to me.

Like in POB, I was just asked if I wanted to participate in musicals. I didn't have to go and find them. Oh well.

I'm going to go and immerse myself in my POBian show. Need to switch off reality for a little while.

For Love

Who knew love can test you so much. I always thought that true love was easy - it just happily bopped along the path of life with nothing in its way. Then again, that was my just idealistic view, always supported by my optimism and hope. As they say, "Hope dies last".

I have not had an easy week. Can't even believe it was only a week. Felt like an eternity. The beginning of questioning love is a sign that it must not be true after all. That's what I thought anyway.

That scared me. I thought my fairytale was at the beginning of the end. That was it for me. I was going to end up alone after all. The worst thing was that I couldn't talk to anyone about it. My best friend was involved and it was too personal to share with April or anyone. I was going to write a blog entry about how eveyone is alone anyway, even if you have all the love in the world. At the end of the day, it's just you with yourself.

At first my hope triumphed, easing the pain. I kept telling myself everything would turn out fine in the end. But when this 'end' was nowhere in sight, I started to wonder if I should start getting over it. And that was the most difficult thing in the world. I don't remember crying so much in consecutive days.

I guess I imagined him to fix everything, as always. For him to come running and tell me that he would do what I wanted and my happiness was all that mattered to him. After lots of arguing, discussing, talking and hitting brick walls (figuratively speaking), I realised that I would never have what I wanted, no matter how loud I kicked and screamed, and no logic or reason would convince him to do it my way.

I thought, "He doesn't love me enough", "Do I really want to be with someone who's not willing to sacrifice for me? Someone who wouldn't put my happiness before his?"

I was on the edge of letting it go.

Then I thought, either I end up alone and regret this forever, or I could let him have his way (even though I didn't understand it).

I asked him questions, hoping his answers would give me a hint if he was worth it and if he would let me have my way next time or if I'd always have to be the one to budge. His replies didn't help. Maybe 'cause that thing called hope was still there, hoping that he would finally let me have my way.

Finally my pride kicked in. I decided enough was enough. Either I stayed and be unhappy or I went and be unhappy. But feeling emotional pain every single day was just ridiculous.

So I let go. I told him we'd do it his way if he could promise me it wasn't always going to be me who had to compromise.

He told me he would let me do anything I wanted because he was so happy we'd do it his way this time. I could see he was truly grateful and my selfish self thought, "Now I have the upper hand". I told him what I wanted in the future and he said he would give me all that.

I learnt one very important thing this week - don't wait for someone else to make you happy, you are the only one who can decide to be happy.

I didn't think giving into him would make me happy. I thought I'd resent him but the weird thing is that I don't. I feel strangely light-hearted.

He said to me, "I'm glad you finally understand where I'm coming from" and I replied, "Actually I still don't understand or agree with your point of view but I'm happy to go with it anyway because I love you".

This was my sacrfice for love and I'm not planning on doing any other any time soon.

Where the Heart Is

The more I watch my POBian show the more I miss POB. I guess not the country so much but the people. And not even the people, but the way they are, the humour. Especially the humour. I can always relate to POBian humour. Even when my parents' friends come over or their kids, they are always so funny.

I guess many Australian won't understand it just because Australian humour is SO different. For example, if I listen to Australian comedians on TV or radio, I just get bored and annoyed with them. Not because I don't understand the joke, but because I just think it's stupid. It's not subtle, it's usually mocking and sarcastic.

Of course I'm not saying that I don't find any of that funny, just not as funny as POBian jokes.

You'd think that since I lived here since I was a kid I'd relate more, but for some reason I just don't. I don't know if other people who moved countries when they were kids feel the way I do. Like not fitting in completely. I usually don't think about it much but the POBian show made me remember.

David and I were talking about it and he feels the same. Although he has more reason to feel that way since he only moved here after he already had a life there. Who knows, maybe that's why we get along. We both don't feel 100% Australian even though I call this country my home and wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

None of my friends are 'true' Australians (i.e. people who's families have been here for generations). Most of my friends weren't even born here.

Some people could say that since most people here are immigrants, we're all Australians. Somehow I don't believe that because the only people I associate as being true Australians are the types who live on Home and Away and Neighbours. Their personalities are just too different to mine.

I hope I don't offend anyone with this post because I don't mean to generalise but it's hard to understand where I'm coming from unless you're in a similar situation.

My inner longing for POB just won't go away.

Fishbowl Crisis

I'm having an internal conflict and I don't know what to do.

It's nothing trivial but of great life importance. Yet, I can't write the details.

I feel confused, scared, desperate. Just stuck.

Let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time there was a fish. It lived in a comfortable fishbowl. It loved its small home because, even though it had a short memory, it always remembered the time it was caught out of the ocean and was fighting for its life.

However, after living in this lovely fishbowl for a while, it started wondering if it really was its home. Was this small fishbowl enough for the fish? Did it want to live in it its whole life?

When a bird flew by, it asked the fish if it wanted to take it back to the ocean. The fish didn't know. Did it want to risk being caught by the fishermen? But on the other hand, there was a possibility of being in the ocean forever and finding a much better home - larger and more beautiful.

While the fish was thinking, the bird flew away, leaving the fish in its fishbowl. Life went by and who knew if another bird would ever fly by, and if it did, would the fish be able to make the decision then?

The End.
(for the fish, not for me...)

Good Day

I say to myself
"Self, why are you awake again? It's 1am"
Standing with the fridge door wide open, staring
Such a sight, florescent light
The stars are bright
Might make a wish, if I believed in that shit
As it is, I might watch TV
Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me
I say to myself, as I smile at the wall, let myself fall

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be

I shiver, shut the door
Can't think standing here no more
I'm alone, my mine's racing, heart breaking
Can you be everything I need you to be?
Can you protect me like a daughter?
Can you love me like a father?
Can you drink me like water?
Say I'm like the desert, just way hotter.

The point of it all
Is that if I should fall
Still your name I'll call

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be

As long as we laugh out loud
Laugh like we're mad
Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have
Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch
But still we laugh

I go back upstairs, turn off the TV
You say "I'll be okay baby, just wait and see."

It's gonna be all right, it's gonna be okay
Gonna be a good day, just wait, just see
Gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be...

- Jewel

Hello 2007!

I had the best New Year's Eve!! (Of course it could've been a little bit better but considering the circumstances, it was a blast.)

My friends are amazing. I love them. I'm a very lucky person.

Unfortunately I can't write exactly what happened but I can say that April asked for us to "get a room" at the hotel. She meant it as an innocent joke but that's far from how that sounded. I'm sure the guy I was trying to set her up with that worked there won't forget her any time soon.

I was told this guy was "not very tall" and "not ugly" so April was expecting a short not very attractive guy. We were both very pleasantly surprised to see an average height quite cute guy. Just goes to show that you should never trust a guy's description of another guy.

Too bad April didn't get a good chance to talk to the guy. Hopefully something better can be organised later.

When April and I got back to the club where we were before we went to the hotel at midnight, Ella was starting to get very nervous because she was about to meet a guy she met on myspace. She said they talked for 7 hours in the last two days and he was going to come to the club at 1am. She was very open about meeting this guy. It's like meeting someone off the internet is not taboo anymore.

April went to meet him with her while Amelia and I danced. Some guy came out of nowhere to ask me to dance. I politely declined but he stretched his hand out to me and said, "Come on! You look like you're having so much fun. Let's dance!" I was flattered. Guys never asked me to dance before I had a boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder if I look more approachable now that I have one. After I declined his offer, he asked Amelia but she also said no. Don't know why, she could've danced with him.

After April came back (alone 'cause she left Ella with the guy downstairs), I told her about my "Theory of Two" - a guy will only ask you to dance if there's only one friend with you. Guys feel too intimidated by large groups of girls. This was proven again when April left for a moment and the same guy came up again! Couldn't believe he had the guts to ask us to dance after we told him no the first time. Then there were a few other guys trying to dance with us (without asking).

When they played the song from Grease (We Go Together) and it was just me, Amelia and April, I thought life couldn't get better than this - dancing with my two best girl friends. Amelia looked great with her new "Russian Spy" hairstyle and glittery gold retro dress (only she could pull off), April looked beautiful in her black halter dress and her glossy black hair and I felt pretty good in my cotton wringed summery black and white dress and my red shoes and red accessories. I wish I could have a picture of the three of us dancing.

Later, we met the guy that Ella met on myspace. He looked all right but he was quite short. When we left the club to go home, all Ella could talk about was how the guy didn't look like in the photo. She said she felt very confused and didn't know whether she liked him. April and I advised her to meet up with him again to get to know him better. She thought that was a great idea but she was obviously in a bit of a shock because he looked different in photos.

That's the thing with meeting someone from the internet. You get a certain picture of them and in reality they might be very different.

It was a very interesting night. Wished I could spend more time with David but what can you do.

End of a great party always makes me feel a little sad but what cheers me up is knowing that as long as I have these people, I don't have to wait for next New Year's Eve for another fun party.