Wanna Dance Again

I have been getting the dancing bug lately. I want to start up doing classes. I want to finish all the levels of salsa that I've started.

I asked David if he wanted to do them and he refused, saying he was too busy (understandable) and he doesn't want to commit to 8 weeks of classes.

Unfortunately, now I can't go without him as it would be weird dancing with other guys. David said he's fine with it but I know he isn't.

Yesterday, he called me and said that he would do it with me. I was happy but I realised that he will be really tired and will probably get grumpy. I'd feel really guilty making him go after a long day of work and uni without dinner or anything.

We decided we'd get some dvds and learn new moves. Although it's not the same as having the consistency of going to class, it's better than nothing.

I finally discovered one negative side of having a boyfriend - can't focus on dancing as much as I'd like.

I'm also getting to the age where I'm too old for getting to an advanced level (even though it is only salsa, and not ballet).

This may seem really silly to most people but I dream of dancing in a proper show. It's a bit of an embarrassing dream. I'm too old for that stuff.

David asked me why and I couldn't even explain. I guess it's because I love watching dancing shows and it makes me want to be in one.

I've decided to go to samba classes close to my new job. Unfortunately, I will never be doing samba shows as I am never wearing the required costume. I remember talking to one of the dance instructors once and she said she refused to do samba because she does not want to wear the g-string bikini.

It's fun to learn though as it really expands your dance skills. And it's fun.

Wedding Crafts

I have been doing wedding invitations all day and I'm still not finished. I'm so over it.

It might've seemed like a fun idea at the beginning to design my own invitations but it's not even close to fun sticking the 50th piece of cardboard to another material.

I'm not even sure if they look good anymore 'cause I'm so tired of looking at them.

Looking on the bright side, I have learnt to use a glue gun effectively.

Best Job Ever

I have finished my job yesterday. It felt really weird, like it was the end of a school term. Only I wasn't going on holidays.

As soon as people at work found out I was leaving, they have been coming to me and saying that they'll miss having me around. I have also received numerous emails (including from the Director who was overseas), telling me how sorry they were to hear that I was leaving, calling me talented and saying my design skills have inspired them among many other sweetest things.

To be so well liked by so many people at my job is overwhelming beyond words. Especially after my previous job where nothing I did was ever right. It has restored my confidence in not only my job skills but my social skills.

One girl from another office (who I always talked with on the phone) came just to say good-bye and she brought the yummiest desserts. I was really touched that she made the effort.

I wish I didn't have to leave.

My boss told me to be prepared to be stolen back in a few months.

I was driving home yesterday and my heart was smiling.

Re: Previous Technical Question

Thanks for your feedback on my previous question. I changed some code and can now see the top image in Firefox. Can you?

Technical Question

I've started posting from Firefox, rather than Internet Explorer because for some reason it won't let me anymore. As soon as I started doing it, I noticed the top image (behind the title of my blog) doesn't show up in Firefox (or Netscape).

I have no idea why but I was wondering can you see it (and what browser are you viewing this blog from?

Another Anniversary

Email to David:

I turned over my desktop calendar and realised it's the 27th. So happy 15 months anniversary!

Reply from David:

Are you sure it's 15 months? I wonder who was the beautiful girl I met more than 27 months ago...

I can't believe I actually forgot that I've been with David for over two years!

I actually want to stop counting every month anniversary as it's getting too much after this long but every time the 27th rolls around, I always remember and have to point it out.

Maybe after we get married, I'll start keeping track of the wedding date, rather than the day we because boyfriend and girlfriend.

Furniture Shopping

David and I spent 7 hours shopping for furniture yesterday. Fortunately we both got a bed, two bedside tables, a dining table and chairs. I'm so happy we have our own furniture!

Some salespeople are so annoying though. They think we have time to just chat. They don't realise we've been shopping all day and don't want to stand there listening to why we should get something we don't like.

One guy was particulary getting to me. He said to David (like I wasn't there) that my tastes were old fashioned and that my skin would match the chocolate coloured bed. Like who freaking buys a bed to match their skin colour? Idiot. What a dumb strategy to tell me I'm old-fashioned to get me to buy. I just wanted to get out of the shop as soon as possible.

Our bedroom is a small size so we were looking for a bed with drawers underneath and this stupid guy said that we won't find any 'cause it's old-fashioned. I told him that we just saw quite a few in other shops. This lead him to say that it would match my skin. Then he added, "That's why I like to sleep on a white bed." He also went on to tell us how he buys at IKEA for his kids. Like we cared.

Pushy salespeople annoy the hell out of me.

Some have a bit of a sense of humour though like when one came up to me when I lost David and asked if he could help. I told him I was "just looking" (for David) and he replied, "It's free to look today". It made me smile.

David and I had a bit of a disagreement about the couch. He really liked one that I wasn't convinced about. In the end I agreed but when we went back, the shop closed. David wasn't happy.

Shopping for so long can get quite stressful as David can't take more than a couple of hours and becomes quite difficult. I had to bribe him with ice cream. Not like I don't get tired but it's something that we have to do. It's much better to spend one day there than go several times.

I'm just glad the day was a success. He made dinner for me when we got back to his house. I was feeling very sleepy by that stage so he wouldn't let me drive home by myself. I was sure I'd be fine but he was like, "I'm taking you home. It's not a question." I love when he looks after me.

I dropped him off at his house in the morning. He has heaps of homework. It's always really hard to say goodbye after spending time together, knowing we won't see each other until next weekend.

I also got a chance to do some housework. Really needed to finish invitations but didn't get to it. I'm taking Friday off so I'll do them then. One more week at my job. I'm getting nervous.

Real Life Better than Fiction

I'm in love with Latin music. I've been listening to POBian radio and all they play is Latin stuff. They also play POBian songs mixed with Latin ones. The rhythm is so catchy.

I would've loved to pick a Latin style of song for our first dance but we couldn't find anything appropriate. I really wanted something upbeat but most love songs are slow or sad sounding (if you don't understand the lyrics).

I saw Front Up today and I remembered how captivating that show was. For anyone who never heard of it, there's one guy who walks around Australian cities and starts talking to random people about their lives. It's amazing how much interesting information he gets out of them. One of my favourite documentaries. My other favourite is the 7 Up series and Promises.

Everyone at work has been so wonderful. I've had about five people come up to me and say how sad they are to see me go. I've never felt more appreciated in any other workplace. I really hope people like me at my next job. There's so much bureaucracy in government. So many procedures and processes to make everything 'fair'. They just take lengthy amounts of time 'causing me to leave this job even though everybody is happy with me and I'm happy to be there.

One woman said to me, "It'll be good for you to get out of this retirement village". She didn't understand that I didn't mind. Even the 63 year old next to me is great for a chat. Who knows how the 'young' people are going to be at my next job.

I'm trying to look it at it as a new adventure. I just hope I can get maternity leave when I want to. My probationary period is a year! Never heard of any that long. Not that they can fire me if I get pregnant but still. And I don't want to be like, "Oh, it was an accident" and look like some naive young girl.

The wedding invitations are taking me much longer than planned. I created such a huge job for myself. David offered to help but I'd rather do it myself and not have anyone to blame if something's not perfect. I feel like a one-woman factory. I did the first part. The next involves pasting in all the details and adding decorations.

On Saturday, David and I are going to look for our furniture. I'm so happy we like the same stuff. Last weekend, we had the same opinion about everything we saw. Now that we know what's around, we'll be more goal-orientated.

Claudia is also looking for a place to buy. April and I were surprised that she wasn't moving in with Mike. April said that Claudia told her that they never discussed their future. I (and April) could never be like that. I have to know every detail of where the relationship is going. Don't want to be getting any nasty surprises several years down the track.

So happy with my life right now. I have everything I could possibly want. Never thought I'd be so lucky. Enjoying every moment. Who knows how long it'll last.

Catching up with the Original Best Friend

Met up with Nadine today. Don't remember the last time I saw her. I think it was a year ago. Had such a great time, I wondered why we don't keep in touch more, like we used to.

She told me about her job as a nurse. How seeing a baby being resuscitated made her cry. She said it jumped on the board as it was getting shocks. She told me how adults are so much worse than kids. They whinge and can't accept that sometimes there's nothing that can be done about their pain. Kids, on the other hand, are much more accepting and don't complain as much. She said they were so understaffed a student had to do the work of a nurse without being seen by any doctors, otherwise the patients would suffer.

It's an interesting line of work she got herself into.

It was also good to chat to her about life of cohabitation. How she and Dean share the chores. We were eating sushi as we were talking about it and the cleaner just walked by as I was telling Nadine how I told David from the start that, "There's no way I'm cleaning the toilets!" I must've said it too loud because the cleaner gave me the dirtiest look.

A few minutes later we were talking about Liz and how she only had physical relationships with guys. Nadine exclaimed, "You can't base your relationship on sex!" and all the tables around us turned around.

Afterwards we decided to go for a walk. As we were browsing different homeware, I realised that I had more in common with Nadine than with April. We were both on the same level where we had long-term partners with whom we were planning on spending our lives. We had the same problems of buying property, getting furniture, which brand of appliances was better.

We laughed about the same issues of having your boyfriend sleep over at your house with your parents there. She told me how one day her Dad said to her, "I know that you sleep with Dean, I can hear the noise from your room, but I just wanted to ask you, 'Are you happy'?" She said she was still trying to absorb the first part of the conversation before being able to say anything. I understood that it was hard to be completely silent when beds creak no matter how quiet you think you are but man, you just don't want to know that your parents know.

Nadine's Dad is a classic though, she reminded me of the time we were at our piano teacher's house and all the Mums were there talking to the teacher about their daughters growing up when Nadine's Dad piped in, "Well, Nadine doesn't have her period yet!" She didn't speak to him for a week. He didn't even get what he said that was wrong. She said he brought it up at dinner a few weeks ago and it was almost like experiencing it the first time. He still didn't get what so wrong about it.

Time flew by so quickly. My new job will be close to where she's studying so we might have more chances to meet up for lunch.

It's her birthday party soon so will see her then as well.

Before she left, she said, "It's weird having to worry about someone else all the time. I have to let somebody else know when I'm coming home because he'll be waiting for me. But it's also kinda nice, having someone there waiting for you."

I can't wait till David and I live together. I'm getting very impatient. We're at the point where we get frustrated if we don't see each other.

We went to look for furniture yesterday and I was so happy that we have the exact same taste. We said the same things at the same time which was freaky, but oh so great!

Close To Your Body

It's true when they say that planning a wedding is like having a part-time job. There are so many things to organise, some of them not as fun as others. One of the things I've been looking forward to is the honeymoon, not just because I'll get to have an romantic holiday but because finally I have an excuse to buy fancy lingerie.

Unlike buying other wedding stuff, buying sexy underwear is not something you can take your friends or Mum to. (Well, I wouldn't anyway. One shop I went to had teenage girls trying them on together to get each other's opinion while their male friend waited uncomfortably outside the change room. Now that was a bit disturbing.)

I have been randomly looking around to see if I liked anything but I noticed that most pricey lingerie isn't even that different. Most of it looks pretty ordinary.

Last Thursday, while I was waiting for David at the shopping centre, I decided to have a look around the specialty stores. I walked into one small shop and was really happy to find really stylish stuff. (For guys fancy lingerie might be just something that turns them on, but for girls it's almost like buying any other nice clothes, you look for a style to suit your taste and something that would make you look attractive and make you feel confident. It's like any other piece of fashion.)

This shop had stuff that was a little bit different to something you'd wear every day. The best thing was that they weren't even that expensive! They were having a big sale so I got two nice sets for $30 each!

Right now I have to hide them in my wardrobe so my Mum doesn't accidentally find it. She's prone to puting stuff into my wardrobe.

It makes me smile to imagine how David would react when he sees me in my new stuff. Although sometimes I imagine him laughing 'cause he's not used to it. Now that would be embarrassing.

New Permanency

I got the job I was interviewed for two weeks ago. Same position in a different region but with one big difference: it's permanent. I really didn't expect to get it.

I have mixed feelings as I love my current job. I love my desk (which no one can see and gives me privacy to do whatever I want). I love sitting near a window and in a room with windows on the ceiling, providing good natural light which makes it easier to concentrate. I love the people I work with, always there to have a good chat. I love my work, full of variety and gives me enough space to be creative but enough boundaries to make it doable. I love being able to leave late in the morning and I love being able to leave work at 4pm.

The new place has a much larger team (who I still have to impress), in an old building, in the crowded city. I have to catch the train which means I can't leave home whenever I feel like. Since it'll take longer to get there, I'll get back later too. I'll probably have a computer in full view of everybody.

I've been really spoilt with my current job and work conditions. Anything even a little worse is disappointing.

The ironic thing is that now that I'm leaving and the person I'm replacing isn't coming back, they will be advertising my current position. Maybe if I really hate the new place, I can apply to this one. If I didn't get the new job, they wouldn't hurry to advertise it. Now they'll have to.

It'll be another new chapter of my life. I'm happy I managed to stay in one place for over a year! Thought that would never happen. I wanted to stretch it for as long as possible so I could have a long period in one job on my resume. Unfortunately I have to start again. I hope the new manager won't be too upset when I ask to take two weeks off for the honeymoon.

I start there in a few weeks. I'm nervous but excited about starting something new. It could turn out really well, right?

Girls Night In

Had a great time at April's last night. So great that I only got home at 1am.

Ella was already there when I got there, making dinner. April has been home alone for a week as her parents are overseas so she was making the best of her time.

After dinner April and Ella introduced me to some of Lifehouse other songs and I've fallen in love with "Breathing", especially this part:

cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't wanna speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
cause I want nothing more than
to sit outside your door
and listen to your breathing
is where I wanna be

That part really tugged on some heart strings. I also loved the lyrics of "Everything":

find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again

you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life
to my soul
you are my purpose
you're everything

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this

All I could think was, "I wish David was here so just his one look could convey all the words of all those songs".

I couldn't help but sense that they loved those songs for the wish of having someone feel like that about them.

April and Ella said, "By the time we have kids, your kids will be able to baby-sit them."

We played Cluedo and I won.

Then we just talked. About relationships, as it's the most common topic with us. I was surprised to learn that April would want to have a separate account when she gets married. Then she and Ella were counting down when they needed to meet their future husbands for them to get married at their preferred ages.

April said, "Ok, so for me to get married at 25, I need to be engaged to him for a year, then I need to have gone out with him for a year before that. That means I have to meet him now. Oh wait, where would my whole 'living with him for a year' be? Ok, stuff that, we'll live together after we get married... Maybe we can move together after 6 months. That could work."

"Anything to cut corners, right?" I added.

"Of course, no time to waste... Oh crap, I need to meet him now."

Then Ella exclaimed, "So what are we doing here, sitting around the heater, instead of being out meeting them?!"

April also changed her view of there being only one person that's right for you. Actually she became a lot like me and doesn't believe in fate anymore. Ella is still optimistic.

I was happy to share my views of relationships and they were happy to listen since I was speaking from experience. I found April quite naive about it all. She was pretty much of the opinion that if the guy didn't have the same views as her, she'd break up with him. I had to explain that it wasn't that simple. When you have feelings for somebody, you want to be able to overcome all the obstacles, no matter how impossible they seem.

April said, "Soon when you have kids, you'll be so different to us. You'd have adult things to think about." I replied, "I think about adult things now but I still don't feel that different."

It's actually weird that even though I'm getting married and about to have a mortgage, I feel just like I did a few years ago, only much happier.

On Friday, David looked at me and said, "Babe, you don't look like someone who's getting married." I told him I was breaking stereotypes and he said, "You always like to break stereotypes."

As I was chatting with April and Ella, I had fleeting moments of thinking about David.

Ella wasn't as talkative and sometimes I wondered if it was because we haven't known each other for that long or if she was just not as opinionated as April and me.

I drove home in such a peaceful state of mind. There's nothing like having a good long talk about everything and anything with good girlfriends.

Today in the morning, I called David and had a good talk with him which made me realise that no matter how wonderful your girlfriends are, nothing beats having a guy friend who's in love with you.

I miss David more than I can say.

My Psychologist

David and my plans have been cancelled for tomorrow as he's very sick. He's got some kind of bad flu. My brother got the same thing so I'm assuming they both got it at uni.

Of course I feel a bit disappointed but it's more important for him to get better. I went to his house tonight and he's just the loveliest person in the world. Even when he's sick and can barely talk he tells me that I'm the most beautiful person. My heart just melts.

I have been feeling a bit cranky in the last few days due to several things and today he tells me, "Ok, tell me everything that's bothering you. I'll be your Dr Phil." (This just goes to show what daytime TV he's been watching while staying at home!)

I told him, "Eww, I'd prefer Dr David". So I told him every little thing that's been annoying me and he just listened to everything, sympathising with every detail. Gosh, I never felt better to unload. Every frustration that was coming out of my mouth was simultaneously flying out of my system.

Tomorrow night I'm going to April's house. Ella will be there too. I'm quite excited as I haven't seen both of them for quite a while and it'll be great to catch up face to face.

I'm also quite happy to announce that Andy will be David's best man!!! Could it be any more perfect?

Wedding and New Home

The real estate agent called me today to tell me he's put the 'Sold' sign next to our new home! We finally managed to exchange contracts (something that was supposed to happen more than a week ago but the vendor decided to go overseas before signing the contract).

What a weird feeling!

We have settlement in September. We can actively start to look for furniture.

My parents, grandparents and David's parents have been wanting to give/buy us things for the new home. I don't want to sound ungrateful but I'd much rather go and choose things like plates myself. I've been looking forward to decorating the way I want to, not to find place for other people's gifts.

David and I are planning on doing the bridal registry thing where people can go and buy us stuff off the list that we make, rather than getting duplicates. I told my grandparents of this and they thought that wasn't "tactful" but that's because they are not used to it. We think it's a brilliant idea and it's widespread enough for people not to get offended.

Last weekend I bought stationery supplies for the invitations. I thought I'd save some money by making them myself (and of course I will) but just the paper and decorations cost me $80!

I was reading wedding forums and it annoys me how some people say they've spent $50 on invitations, their brother is a professional photographer, their mother is a baker and the whole wedding ends up being $5000. That was my initial goal but that was before I realised that $75 per head for 70 guests already goes over that.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to making the invites and figuring out how I'm going to decorate the cake.

My current issue that I have is with table decorations. The problem is that I have a certain look in mind but it's prooving difficult to find the items I need. I thought it'd be easy to hire some long thin vases but no. And it's not going to be cheap.