A Taste Of The Real World

Ok, here are the details.

Work: about an hour before the end of my shift, Jack tells me that he has to have a talk about my probation period before I go. I realised that he was going to fire me. I was a bit upset because I needed that job. I was trying to calm myself down and trying to convince myself not to completely go off at him after he fires me.

Half an hour before the end of my shift, he and his wife took me outside. It was too awkward for words. I was anxiously waiting for them to tell me that I didn't fit in with their business or some other crap like that but they didn't. They told me that it had nothing to do with me but with the fact that the sales were so down for the last 2 months that they couldn't afford me anymore. And the reason they fired me and not someone else was because I was still on probation period and the last to join the team. I wonder what happened to the guy who came after me. I haven't seen him for quite a while. Maybe they dropped him too. They were so damn nice about the whole thing, it was disgusting. They said they'll send me a really nice reference. They better! And I got my Harry Potter book for free (as a gift), although they put up the price this week to $35 from $30.

I hate not having a job. I need some money flow. And tutoring is not much. I hate looking for a job. And I can't look for one now anyway because I'm supposed to have my gallbladder operation in the next few weeks and I won't be able to work right after that, and I can't not turn up for the first few days. I hate this.

Max: I got the guts to call him. I was expecting the worst (just in case) so I was very surprised to hear the nicest voice I've ever heard. Not nice as in personality but just the actual voice. He should be on radio. That's how nice it was. I, of course, was talking too fast and too loud. I was a bit surprised that he didn't say much. I felt like I had to fill every silence with anything, no matter how stupid it was. Thankfully, I had to go so there was no need to talk for longer.

He later messaged me to say that I sounded nervous! What the hell! I was so completely not nervous. I just always sound a bit too happy and excited and hyper. I told him that I'll only talk to him on the phone again if he'll actually talk back. I'll see what happens. He probably didn't like how I sounded. Oh well. Too bad for him, right? Right.

What I realised is the quicker I get to know him in real life and the quicker I realise that I don't like him in real life, the quicker I'll get over him. If I just talk to him on the net, there'll always be hope that he's this wonderful guy in real life. I need to kill that hope.