Remember That TV Show?

April and I decided to have yet another go at writing our TV show. But instead of re-writing the same episodes and trying to improve them, we decided to start all over again. We even changed the characters a bit. And the show's style too. Before we were always trying to come up with some gimmick that would make our show different and stand out but even though the things that we were coming up with made our show original, they were also making it boring.

So now we've decided to not have any gimmicks but focus on the characters and the story lines. And by basing them on real life, we are making our show original that way. I think it actually makes our show more genuine, authentic and engrossing.

Hopefully, this time will be better.

You are Rerun!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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Improving Yourself

The 3 original guys on "Average Joe" are so insecure, it's unbelievable. I don't understand why they have to obsess about how they look because they think that that's the most important thing. It reminds me of something my Dad said ages ago that still stays in my mind and something I remind myself every time I start worrying about how I look. He said, "[People] should stop focusing on how they look and start paying attention to their personalities".

It makes me think that if people would put all their energies that they use for making themselves look good into improving their personalities, the world would have a lot more better people.

People spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery but how many people would pay any money to improve their personality?

If you could improve just one of your personality traits, what would it be?

Dashed Line

Did a really stupid thing yesterday. Went into a chatroom. Can't even remember the last time I went into one. Forgot that it's possible to start chatting to someone who you would want to chat again with. And again. And again. Didn't the Max thing teach me ANYTHING?!! Apparently not.

I keep telling myself that I'll just stop emailing this guy whenever I'll feel like it and won't care. But that's what I kept telling myself about Max. And the Max thing just evolved into something too weird. And even though it keeps stopping at times, it always somehow starts again. Like a dashed line. Some dashes are longer, some are shorter but there are always breaks in between.

My life is always either screwed up or non-existent. I always keep changing my mind about what I prefer. Sometimes, I need something (even if it's not the best thing) to make my life more interesting and sometimes I'd rather have nothing just so there's nothing to worry about.

Problems

I love raining weather. Especially when my mood reflects it. (I find it annoying when it's sunny weather when I feel bad.)

Just watched Dr Phil. I don't particularly like him but I like the idea of watching a psychologist at work. Anyway, they had this family on that I couldn't take my eyes off. Watching them was like either reading a novel or watching a some Drama movie/TV show. Except it was all real which made it so much more intriguing.

The oldest daughter (15 years old) got pregnant (because she didn't know that if you have sex without protection you will get pregnant). The father called her a slut. Her mother wants to give the baby up for adoption. Her twelve year old sister hates her because of her stupidity and because she has to deal with the whole thing too. To add to this, the father cheated on the mother TWICE and pays attention only to the older daughter because she is his favourite (even though he called her a slut) and the younger daughter is upset that no one is paying any attention to her even though she didn't do anything wrong.

How could I not want to watch all this??? It sure beats any movie or book. I don't even understand why they would go on TV but who cares. It's great entertainment. And don't tell me I'm being insensitive because they are the ones that agreed to share their problems (which is an understatement) with millions of viewers.

Now, to my problems. Well, not really problems but the fact that nothing exciting is going on in my life. And I'm annoyed that I can't write anything I want to in here because there's a strong chance that people who know me might be reading this. I was so afraid that it would happen. It's not that I'm 100% sure that it's true but I don't want to take any risks.

I was even thinking of starting a new blog where I could write about everything that doesn't have anything to do with what concerns people that know me. But then that's why I wanted to do with this blog but everything has something to do with everything else. It's hard to compartmentalise events and people in my life.

Max said that I'm very sarcastic. Me? Sarcastic?!

Ok, fine, I am. So?

An Important Issue

April and I had a difference in opinions on who's prettier - Trista from "Bachelorette"

or Melana from "Average Joe". (See in the right side panel.)

What do you think?

What attracts people to you?
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Origins

Went clubbing yesterday with April, Claudia, Amelia, Elaine and Alan. Had a pretty good time apart from the fact that all clubs really get to be enjoyable after at least 11pm which makes the beginning of the night a waste of time if you're not really into drinking, like I am.

Tomorrow is Elaine's last day in Australia. She's quite happy to be going home because she misses her friends. I think I will actually miss hanging out with her. And I don't even know her that well. But she made me a bit nostalgic about my origins and it proved to me once again that I can relate better to people from POB, even though I lived here for most of my life.

Paranoia Or A Real Problem?

I'm getting EXTREMELY paranoid or if my paranoia has a good reason, then I'm getting EXTREMELY worried. What about, you might ask?

A few days ago, I had a sinking feeling that my Dad might be reading this. I don't know this for sure, of course. But even the thought freaks me out.

Dad, if you're reading this, please stop!!!!

If you are not my Dad and view this regularly using the Opera browser, please email me to tell me that you're not my Dad (preferably with some proof eg. your site address). If you can do this, I will really appreciate it and my mind will be at ease.

Clubbing

Had a good night yesterday. Went clubbing with Elaine, Amelia and Alan (Elaine's older brother). Unfortunately we couldn't get into any club because Alan was wearing shorts and sneakers. (He's 29 and hasn't been clubbing for a while and he only went to clubs in POB and there apparently you can wear whatever you want). So due to his lack of proper clothing, we went to some pub/bar that had live music and a dance floor. That was fun until it got so packed that we couldn't even move. After that we just walked around the city for a while.

Next week, Alan will dress properly so we'll be able to get into clubs. And Jeanne (Alan's wife) should come too. It'll be the last Saturday before Elaine will be going back to POB so it's her last chance to see Australian clubs.

Maybe April, Claudia and Christine will come too. Christine actually called me yesterday but I didn't realise until an hour later when I checked my phone since I didn't hear it at the time she called. Oh well.

If April will have another excuse for not going, it's her loss. I could go dancing every weekend (and so can Amelia, I think). The major problem is usually finding a way to get back which is eliminated when Alan comes since he lives five minutes away and can drive me home. But he's only going now because of Elaine so when she leaves, my lifts will be gone too. Another way is for April to stay over so then we could catch the train together but since she never wants to go, that doesn't work. So I'm taking advantage of it while I can.

Different Poems For Valentines

Claudia sent me this. I don't feel so bitter about Valentine's Day anymore.

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

My Common Sense Tragedy

I think I forgot to mention that my common sense has committed suicide. It was a big tragedy and it will be deeply missed.

It always guided me in all my decisions and never left my side (like lots of other people's common senses do). It was a true and loyal friend.

However, lately, it had started having bouts of depression due to me ignoring it. It told me numerous times to leave the Max thing alone. It told me to take advantage of all the opportunities that made it so easy for me to let go of him. But I never listened and started to avoid my common sense all together.

It started feeling frustrated and alone. I didn't care even one bit and instead of paying more attention to it, I put all my energy into coming up with ways of convincing Max to meet me without him knowing it and making him think that it was him who changed his own mind.

The more progress I was making, the worse my common sense got. In its last few days, it didn't even speak to me. Today, it reached its final moment when it killed itself with my email to Max.

It will be fondly remembered.

In A Bad Mood

Every time I'm in a bad mood, I don't feel like doing anything. And I REALLY have work to do today. I have to finish logos for my parents' friends' business. When I woke up today, I told myself that I will not go on the net until I will finish the logos. But then I thought that even if I don't go on the net, I still won't do them so might as well go online.

The Worst Day

I hate Valentine's Day.

Not just because I'm bitter about not having a boyfriend.

Not just because it means nothing to me.

And not just because it's a commercial money-taking excuse for a celebration.

But because there is absolutely no escape from it except at home.

What if I feel like going out tomorrow? Why should every place have a Valentine's theme plastered all over it and every club have some sort of singles party encouraging people to meet your Valentine? What if I just want to go and dance somewhere with my friends without having Valentine's Day always be in my face? It's as if I need even more reminders of my single state.

Ok, so I am bitter. And Valentine's Day means nothing to me. And it is just a commercial money-taking excuse for a celebration. And I should just ignore it and view it as just another day. But I hate it almost as much as my birthday.

Fake Reality

I love reality TV. There, I admit it. I love watching how people interact in the most unusual circumstances. As long as it's not about renovation. Even "The Resort" had to have something to do with renovating. They couldn't help themselves, could they.

I also watched "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance" which was hilarious (in a really guilty way). I am very suspicious that the bride and her family are actors too. Otherwise it's just too cruel of a joke to play on your own family.

"Paradise Hotel" was ok but reminded me of "Temptation Island" which I used to hate. I like the idea of musical chairs sort of dating show. All the contestants were pretty stupid which really ruined the show but then again, smart people wouldn't go on it.

"The Resort" also had a collection of stupid people with maybe one exception - the doctor. No wonder she was complaining all the time. It'd be horrible to be surrounded by self-obsessed idiots.

And I can't not watch "Average Joe". Such a copy of the Bachelor. I was surprised that the woman got rid of the better looking ones on the first day. And if the whole point was to pick good personalities in guys, they failed miserably. I could not see even one guy with a nice personality. They were all too weird. And hypocritical - even though they were not the best looking, all they could see in the woman was her looks. Stupid stupid.

Yet, I can't take my eyes off these people.

Talking With April

April: in the next two years u will get a bf
me: i'm sorry, i just don't believe u
April: well i'm offended - u'll be sorry when u get one

Thursday Ups and Downs

Thursday turned out better than I thought, even though it started out quite badly. Elaine turned out to be a really cool person and just the type of person I'd want to hang out with.

Claudia and Amelia were really friendly to her and included her in our conversations even though she couldn't speak English. I was so glad they didn't ignore her, unlike Christine who after finding out that she didn't understand what she was saying didn't speak to her. I got some practise translating really REALLY quickly (to the point where at one stage I spoke English to Elaine and POBian to Claudia).

I had a pretty good time though.

In other news, I'm unemployed. Yes, my Christmas casual position has finished and the manager is not keeping any of the Christmas casuals. Trust my luck to get a manager like that when all the other managers in the store are probably keeping the Christmas casuals. April's store decided to keep her.

The thing I hate most about not having a job is looking for another one. I hate the whole process of sending out my resume and going to interviews and telling the interviewer a lot of BS and the interviewer knowing it. For once when applying for a casual job, I wish I could answer the question "Why do you want this job?" with "Because I need the money". Especially that the interviewer knows very well that it's not because it's a great opportunity blah blah blah...

To top off my day, I got an email from Max. Well the second one after I wrote him. In the first one, he answered my question about why he didn't want to meet me. He said it's because he doesn't see any point since all the other times he met people off the net he never sees them. I, of course, had to ask him what was the whole point in starting to talk again and he said that he just didn't think I'd want to meet him so fast. Fast?! FAST?!!! I've talked to him for 3 years and then another 9 months last year. I didn't want it to turn into another 3 years of not meeting.

He also asked me a question - "What is it that you want?". At first I was stuck because it made me think that I don't know what I want. But then I realised that I know EXACTLY what I want. I want to find the Right Guy but since that's not something he can help me with, for now I can settle for a guy that I'd like to be friends with ie. him. But it's not like I'm going to tell him that.

I don't even know if I really want to meet him. It depends on my mood. Cause I wouldn't want anyone to know so I'll always have to hide it which on one hand can be fun and exciting but on the other tiring.

Argh, I wish I would just make up my mind about what I want from him.

Amelia just messaged me that she'll be coming! Yay! I'm so happy now! Doesn't take much to change my mood.

Annoyed At April

We planned on going out and April is sick once again. How is it possible for someone to always get sick on the day when we plan on going somewhere? I can't even feel bad for her anymore because I get too disappointed. Especially today when I invited a girl who came to Australia from overseas and was really looking forward to going out.

Of course, I'll be going anyway because Claudia will be coming too. It'll just be very awkward because the girl can't speak English so I'll have to communicate with her and Claudia separately. That's why I'm so upset that April won't be coming.

Amelia said she might come but isn't sure because she has to go to the hospital in the morning. I'm not upset at Amelia at all because she never leads me to believe that she'll be coming when she won't be. It's only April who does that.

And she always has her excuse that's pointless fighting about - it's not her fault that she gets sick. Well, I'm starting to think that it is since it's always happening.

And I'm also annoyed at April for being rude to my brother. Yesterday when she came over, she not only didn't even say hi, she completely ignored him. Before when she ignored him, we thought that she was just shy but now it's just plain rude.

Tonight is going to be so embarrassing. I told the girl that we'll be meeting my 'friends', as in plural but only Claudia will be there. And Christine hasn't even replied to April's message about whether she'll be coming. I know she has to work today but I don't know when she'll be finished.

Really really hope Amelia can make it.

You know, I'm actually starting to miss Nadine. She would've come.

THIS is FREAKY!

Try the test to see how accurate it is!

My Favourite Guy

I'm in love with Markus Zusak. I loved him once before, when I was in high school.

No, I've never met him but I feel like I know him more than I know people that I have met.

Yes, I might be going a bit crazy.

A book hasn't affected me as much as "The Messenger" since I don't even remember. Especially the ending. I couldn't even fall asleep because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I felt as if Mark (can I call you that?) was talking directly to me. As if the words reached out from the page and started dancing in my heart.

I had a strong urge to write him a letter, look him up in the phone book or do something drastic. I even imagined meeting him.

Today when I looked him up on the net, I found that last year he gave a public lecture with Melina Marchetta (another favourite author). I'm so annoyed I missed it.

Lots of people idolise music and movie stars. But here I am going crazy about an author. Unlike lots of other books, all Mark's ones are so personal that I feel like I'm reading his inner thoughts. And I can relate to them. And I love them. And I want to marry him.

Just kidding!

Married For Life

I watched "Married in America" today. It's by the same guy who made the original "7 up" (and the others in the series) - the first show that got me interested in documentaries. I even made Nadine answer the same set of questions every year while we were in our young teens.

I wanted to play a game and guess which couples will stay together and which ones will break up. By trying to guess this, it made me realise that you can never be certain about the couples' futures. How can anyone predict who is truly committed and in love and are able to compromise and enjoy each other's company? Sure, anyone can make a guess but no one can be certain.

Dear Bravenet,

YAY!!! I didn't think you'd ever show the visitors' IP addresses again. But guilt obviously has started swallowing you up. All I can say is ABOUT TIME!

I started to feel as if I lost all regular visitors.

Hopefully, there will be no relapses of this sort.

Sincerely, Sky.

Now, I have a guest map, just like everyone else. It looked like a fun feature so why not add it.