Work Gossip

Who wants to hear about my work?

Well, I'll tell you anyway.

Yesterday I had to work from 6 to 9 with the 'husband' manager and his son, Peter. And no one else. Just the three of us. Can you feel my joy? Well what can I say except "Like father, like son" (only a bit better).

There wasn't much to do so I had to stay at the counter, pretending to be busy, while Peter was eating in the backroom. When he finished, I tried to avoid him by walking around the shop, pretending to be putting books on the shelves. Then Jack (the husband manager) ordered me to go to the front because Peter went to help Jack. You should've seen Peter's face. He was beaming. I felt like he was always laughing at me. And if you know me, I absolutely can't stand being bossed around, let alone being laughed at (for no good reason).

Later, at the counter when he was there, I did something that he couldn't. I couldn't enjoy that moment enough because he's always trying to show how good he is at everything. I think his face might've gone a little red (or that could've just been the heating which was making my face red too).

Anyway, after that Jack told me to take books from the very top shelves (which could only be reached from a ladder). When Peter heard Jack tell me to do this, he made some smartarse comment about me having to do this annoying job. He laughed too early because he ended up climbing the ladder several times because I couldn't reach most of the books. Also, instead of him only climbing once, I made him do it a number of times when it wasn't necessary. Ah, my skills of manipulation...

Then when I finished with that, he misused his power by making me do something that I didn't have to. I did what he said because I didn't want to argue with the manager's son but when he laughed, I realised he was just kidding. I was really mad at him. To make everything worse, I had a really bad headache (since I was at uni before and had a small gallstones attack). I was in a really pissed off mood already so he just made me fume with anger.

After that, we had to stand at the counter together. I decided to talk to him 'cause I was bored and I can't get in trouble for talking with the manager's son (unlike other employees). Turns out, he's not too bad to talk to. I asked too many questions (as usual) and have lots more. It was quite interesting to listen to him. I should've listened more and asked less.

Guess what he asked me? He asked me what year of high school I was in!!! You should've seen his face when I told him I was at uni (not to mention 2nd year)! That was funny! I'll take that as a compliment. After that he talked differently with me.

I wonder how old he is. I'm guessing 25 or 26, although he looks anywhere from 22 to 30.

He's one of those guys who I can't stand and like at the same time. It's terrible.

I don't think I'll be working with him for a while, which suits me fine.

Could, Should and Can't Be Bothered

I could be having a life at the moment. I should be doing work. I'm definitely doing neither.

My friends have totally confused me about our weekend plans. I can't be bothered figuring them out anymore.

Claudia wanted to go out tomorrow and said that she'd call to tell me the details. She didn't. April messaged me yesterday about going out tonight but not knowing when or where but just meet up in the city and figure out then. Today, I got an email from Claudia telling me the meeting details of tomorrow. I messaged April asking her if she's sure we're meeting today and not tomorrow. She messaged back at 5:20 telling me to call them when I get to the city so they can tell me where to meet them. By that stage, I just couldn't be bothered anymore. It takes me about 45 minutes to get there and I'm too tired to go, although I want to see them all (well, except Amelia who is starting her new job). I'm not sure if tomorrow is still on. I'll ask Claudia tomorrow morning.

I told April that I couldn't come because I'm very tired (which is true) and because I have lots of work (which is also extremely true) by which is assumed that I'm going to do all this work (unfortunately not true because I'm very tired as I already mentioned and because the work is boring and I can't get motivated enough to do it).

Missing Max (Or Am I?)

Have you ever wanted to do something that you know is not in your best interests?

I'm feeling like this at the moment. I want to talk to Max. Sometimes I really hope that he'd e-mail me but he never does (for which I'm very grateful because I'm not strong enough to break all the ties between us and I know I have to in order to live my life). I've read our ICQ transcripts and realised (not for the first time) that what we had was really stupid. It's not that I regret it, just wish it ended differently. I'm not sure how different, but just not this way. I sort of expected it to end like this but I just wish I wouldn't think about him every time I really want a boyfriend.

If only I met him differently and he was a different person, how much easier and happier my life would be.

When I was talking with Amelia today, at the next table was a beautiful couple who were acting all lovey-dovey and although they didn't make me completely disgusted (because I wasn't in a bitter mood), I still felt a longing.

I don't mean to get all soppy but it's almost 1am and people usually are more emotional at this time. So I'm just acting out on a human instinct.

Energisers

The one thing that never fails to really hype me up is being with or talking to my close friends. I saw Claudia in the morning, met up with Amelia (because she still waits with me during my 2 hour break) and talked and laughed the whole time. Then talked with April on the phone when I got home. I have too much energy to go to sleep so I'm writing here. I don't have to wake up early tomorrow so I can stay up late.

I have nothing interesting to tell you today (do I ever?) so I'll just ramble for a bit. Speaking of close friends, I'd love to know what your close friends are like. Are they people that you met separately or are they all your childhood/uni/work friends? How often do you talk/meet with them? Do you usually meet in a group of separately? If you have any interesting friends stories, I'd love to hear them!

Work Update

I was re-reading some of my entries and I guess I should I should update you a bit on my work. I got to work with Peter. He is the managers' son and the first thing he did when he was working with me was tell me what to do. What is it with that family?! Do they go on some power trip from telling others what to do when it's not necessary. Especially that Peter isn't even a manager.

The new guy (who's my brother's age) is really nice. He always asks me if I need any help and he actually helps with all the boring stuff, which is really nice of him. Since I'm not the newest employee anymore, the managers got off my case a bit and now yell at the new boy. The husband boss even yelled at him in front of me. I mean this was after closing and the manager asked me to stay while he told off Jonathan and after he finished, he said that I could go. That was so cruel.

Last Thursday, when the managers weren't there in the morning, the other older employees were bitching about them so much. Yay, I'm not the only one that can't stand them! They were also saying that the wife and husband had a really big argument when I wasn't there and it got quite ugly. No wonder Mary (the wife) was saying nice things to me for no reason in particular. It was probably to get me to like her more than her husband. Maybe not but I choose to think that because I can't think of any other explanation for her strangely nice behaviour.

Strange Thoughts

Since I have no life this weekend, or should I say no social life because I'm not having such a bad time doing nothing after a long week of uni assignments and work, I'm going to write in here.

I'm not too good at articulating things so I'll be jumping from one topic to the other. I have difficulty in making my entries flow from one thing to the next. Hope it doesn't ruin reading my entries too much.

Anyway, I was going to say that sometimes before I go to sleep, I start thinking really strange thoughts like if, for example, April and Amelia, were falling off a cliff and I could only save one, which one would it be? I'm strange, I know. So I keep thinking of all the people that are really important to me and rank them in order of importance. Why the hell do I do that?! It really scares me, especially when I can't chose and I always make the choices really hard. At the top of my list is my Mum and Andrew. Choosing between them drives me crazy. I have to tell myself that it's very unlikely that I'd have to choose between them since it's very unlikely for them to be falling off a cliff while holding my hands. I'm so weird sometimes that I even scare myself.

When I was in year 5/6 and really didn't like my class, I'd daydream about the end of the world and that some force would tell me that I can choose 2 people to save and I imagined who that would be and the looks on my classmates faces when they weren't chosen.

I wonder if there's some deep unconscious psychological reason for these thoughts or if the part of my brain that controls my imagination has gone all weird. Probably both.

Does anyone else have any really strange thoughts that come out of nowhere?

Good vs Bad

I've borrowed "Chicken Soup For The Soul" because I've heard that it's good. It's a collection of apparently true inspirational stories. Although it's a bit setimental at times, it's still quite interesting. It's supposed to encourage faith in humanity which is good and all but it's a bit too mushy for my liking.

It actually made me think that if someone is unhappy with their life because he/she knows that it can be better, does that make them an optimist or a pessimist?

It reminds me of what my Dad said, "A pessimist says that life can't get any worse and an optimist says that yes it can".

I know there's too much cynicism in the world and a brighter outlook on life wouldn't hurt but why can't everyone just be realistic and realise that there is both good and bad. It's all balanced. Sure it'd be great if everything was great but it doesn't work that way. I wonder if it's possibe to eliminate the bad with time but I guess for that to happen, everyone has to agree about what's good.

My idea of good is when you can do whatever you want without hurting anyone else.

Guy And ?

This is a random thought but I wish there was a female equivalent of the word "guy". There's woman and man, boy and girl, and just guy. The reason I wish there was is so people could refer to females my age by that term. I know I'm not really a "girl" anymore but it's strange calling me a "woman".

Oh my God, I just remembered that Brittney Spears song "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman". God help me if that has any significance to my life!

Some of my friends were talking about this a few years back, but it didn't have that much significance to me back then because I didn't look older than my age and at 16/17, everyone referred to me as a girl. But now, especially in the bookshop (where I work), customers refer to me as a 'lady' which is almost an equivalent of 'woman'. At first it felt really strange but now I'm sort of used to it. Some people still call me 'girl' so I guess there's some sort of a balance.

Some people call females my age "chicks" but I absolutely can't stand it. I find it a bit degrading to compare girls with chicken. I know some girls actually like it and refer to other girls as "chicks" because they think it's a cute term but I don't find anything cute about it. How would a guy feel if people called him a "chick"? He'd probably find it funny at first but after a while, it'd get really annoying.

Does anyone have any suggestions what female equivalent of 'guy' should be?

What Is Beauty?

I found a very interesting website about 'beauty', called Beautycheck. It's interesting to know if beauty is the same to everyone or if it's in th eye of the beholder. The only thing (that I can think of) that the web site could've researched a bit more is how beauty is perceived in different nationalities. For example, is there a reason why I don't find Asian guys attractive? And why do Spanish people generally look so beautiful?

I was actually thinking about beauty since people started saying that Joanne from "Big Brother 3" is using her "beautiful" looks to play the game. (Personally, I think that if she hadn't a nice presonality to match, she wouldn't be able to use her looks.)

Why is it that beautiful people get paid out so much? They had as much influence in being good looking as 'ugly' people had a say in their looks. What's the difference between the two? 'Ugly' people get sympathy from the public while 'beautiful' people get bitchiness. Although some people might say that beautiful people have it much easier in life, I would disagree. They get judged so much and so much attention (or I guess I should say pressure) is put upon them to be happy. Is it because people feel intimidated by beautiful people and they try to find something wrong with them? And besides, being good looking doesn't guarantee you happiness because as cliche as it sounds "beauty is only skin deep". Personality is what really matters. I'm sure if you're intelligent this is nothing new but I just felt like talking about it.

(In the last paragraph, I had to generalise to express my feeling on the issue so don't go thinking that I feel like that about every single person.)

What are your thoughts and/or experiences on this 'beauty' issue?

No, I haven't died, if anyone's been wondering. It's weird that although I didn't have the internet for only a week, it feels forever. I have quite a few things to talk about but this is just a quick note to say that I haven't forgotten my blog.

A Stranger

Yesterday when I was walking to the station in pouring rain, a complete stranger offered me a lift. I never get into strangers' cars but I remembered my Mum getting a lift AGES ago so I assumed it was the same woman. Since I'm still alive, the woman must've been very nice. I'd never offer strangers lifts, even if it is pouring rain.

Has a complete stranger ever done anything really nice for you? Or have you gone out of your way to help someone you've never met before?

Lately I've been thinking how to make my life (and blog) more interesting and I thought that maybe every day, I should do something really nice for someone and for myself (as a reward). These nice things can't be too easy (especially the ones for myself). For example, taping a show for myself (or eg my brother) does not count.

I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now but I can't think of things to do. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Or maybe you can do the same.

Fabian Incident #104

You know that although I really can't stand Fabian, he gives me material to write in my blog. Is that good or bad? I guess he's good for something.

This is what happened yesterday.

Just before our tutorial, I heard Fabian say my name in French, so I wasn't sure if he was talking to me. After he said it again, I turned around and he said, "Hi [my name in French]. How are you?" I gave him a what-is-wrong-with-you?! look while replying, "Fine. How are you?" in a suitable tone.

He then, wheels his chair between Sophia and me. Sophia was looking uncomfortable (as expected in close proximity of Fabian). With his usual smirk on his face, he says to me, "This is what I love about...[trails off] If I say 'hi, how are you?' to you, you give me this look [tries to imitate my what-is-wrong-with-you?! look] as if 'why is Fabian saying hi to me?!'"

I was all defensive (I don't know why), saying, "I didn't do that." Then I realised that I did do that so I said, "You didn't say my name properly".

Fabian: It's French! [as if I didn't know]
me: I know, but this isn't France.
Fabian [leans forward and points at his head]: In my head, it's France!

I rolled my eyes, while Sophia giggled nervously. I turned to my computer, thinking that he'd go away, but does Fabian ever go away?!

Fabian: I had a friend in France who was called [my name in French]
me: I know, you told me.

He looks surprised that I remember but I always remember things like that.

Fabian: Well, she's not a friend anymore. More of an acquaintance.
me: That's nice.

Fabian: so [my name in English], how was your weekend?
me: fine, how was yours?
F: it was crap actually.
me: that's too bad.

As if I was going to ask him why it was crap. I didn't need to, he explained anyway.

F: I've really been missing [our tutor]

I just had to burst out laughing, didn't I?!! I couldn't even roll my eyes (which would've been appropriate). I hate how laughter just comes out of me at all the wrong times. He must've been satisfied because after that because he left. Or maybe it was just because our tutor came.

The first thing he asked her was, "What happened to the cute tutor next door?"

God, he's... I don't know what he is.

ATTENTION:
Anyone who has/had excruciating pain from gallstones, please let me know of any ways to lessen the pain or how to avoid it. Last night, I was going crazy from it, waking everyone up with weird sounds that were coming out of my mouth.

Actor Awards

What really puzzles me is why on award shows, the winners (who are actors) read their thank you speeches from a piece of paper. Can't they memorise 2 minutes of names (that they should know anyway)?

SARS

I haven't talked about this issue in my blog before but I do think a lot about it, especially when I'm with other people (eg. trains, uni). I have been getting a bit paranoid about it.

You know how everyone's been told that to avoid it, you have to wash your hands often? Think about it. It's not that simple. Imagine the following scenario:

1. You have the SARS virus on your hands.
2. You go to the bathroom to wash your hands.
3. You use your hands to turn on the tap.
4. The tap has the SARS virus.
5. You wash your hands off the SARS virus.
6. You use your hands to turn off the tap (which has the SARS virus on it).
7. You have the SARS virus on your hands.

The cycle continues.

I hope everyone knows that if you wash your hands, you have to turn the tap on/off using something other than your hands.

Who's Weird?

Amelia has been helping my group do an assignment for one of my classes. (Basically she's an actor in our film.) Today, when she wasn't there the other people in my group were talking about her and subtly saying how strange she was. This was right in front of me. I tried to change the subject because I didn't want to start an argument since we had to work together. I never got this protective of my friends before. I felt horrible that I introduced Amelia to the others and now they were making fun of her subtly. It really annoys me when some people classify others as 'weird'. I mean, what is weird? Everyone is different. I think that it's people's low self-esteem that makes them want to call others weird to make themselves feel better. Amelia is not 'weird', she is interesting and more fun than the rest of them put together.

Funny Findings

- If you never see the person who you lent $20, it was probably worth it.
- If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Bad Luck

I saw Lara today (the girl from ODV that I assumed was really popular). It's weird how although she seems really different from me but we actually are similar in some ways. She is not the type of person that I usually find easy to talk to but for some reason, I had a really long and entertaining conversation with her.

Talking to her made me wonder that if she has a boyfriend, why don't I? She has such a similar social personality as me that it seems just bad luck for me not to find a boyfriend.

Intimate Details

I was watching "Felicity" today and noticed how open all the characters are. Although I do realise that it's fiction, I can't help but think that there must be some truth in it. Fiction doesn't come from nowhere, there has to be some basis for it (in this case, the writers' experiences). Anyway, I was thinking if anyone does tell their friends every little intimate detail of their lives to their friends, and even acquaintances? What's your opinion on this? Do you think it's ok to tell people everything or should some things stay private?

Party That I Won't Go To

There's a party next week at Christine's uni that she's taking a part in organising and I REALLY want to go to but not by myself, but as if April or Amelia will go! It sounds like lots of fun but I don't want to go if only Christine is going to be there and also, I'm not sure how I'm going to get there and back. How disappointing...

Did you know that rubbing your nails against each other apperently makes them grow faster?
- another piece of useless trivia, brought to you by Sky Space

Nate Replacement

Work was weird! The daughter manager was nice!!! I can't believe I used her and the word 'nice' in one sentence. Amazing! Also, the 'Nate replacement' most likely is the manager's son. I gathered this from a phone call which went as follows:

Ring ring
me: [long welcome intro that we have to say]... Sky speaking.
Peter: Oh hi Sky! It's Peter. [excitedly as if we're friends]
me: Hi
Peter: Hi. Can you get Mary [the wife manager] to call me on my mobile?
me: Sure. Does she have your number?
Peter: Oh, yeah!

The way he said 'oh yeah' was as if of course she had his number, she's his mother!

Anyway, I have to work with him next Sunday. Hopefully he won't boss me around like the rest of his family.

Feeling: Great!

Today was great.
- Fabian wasn't at uni.
- Talked to a pretty nice guy with whom I've never talked before.
- Had a really good chat with Sophia. Never thought that she'd be someone I can be close friends with.
- Talked quite a bit with a girl from one of my classes who is really nice.
- Jack ignored me.
- Got a sweet message from Amelia.
- Made people laugh (which gives me such a high feeling).

The 2nd best feeling in the world is being liked and accepted for yourself. The best feeling is being loved by RG but I've never experienced that so it doesn't really count.

I don't know why but cold weather makes me want a boyfriend more than anything.

Male Immaturity

Just came from (tutoring) work about 30 minutes ago. The girl's brothers or brother's friends (whoever they are) beeped at me when I was going to my car. (They were in their car, waiting for who knows what. They left as soon as I got in my car.) I usually don't tolerate this behaviour but for some reason I didn't care. I felt good. I'm an embarrassment to modern females. I'm sorry.

Before, when I was faced with male immaturity I got really annoyed and disgusted. I don't know what changed. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't feel good about what happend anymore.

It's In The Smile

Recently it has come to my attention that there are SOOO many different smiles and that the people you're closest with have the same type as yours. I always noticed that people smiled differently and their smiles reflected their personalities but now I noticed that people with similar smiles are most likely to be friends.

I noticed this when Nate smiled the same smile as me when I met him. I know I should stop thinking about him because I'll never see him again but I'm just using his as an example. Another good example is Nadine. Although her personality is so different from mine, she smiles almost the same as me.

If you're wondering, I'm not going crazy, babbling about this.

I am crazy, already.

Reason For The Tail

Animals have tails for assisting in balance and steering, propulsion, grasping, grooming (swatting flies is one example) and for display.

Tail Of A Person

I never knew people had tails. Did you? It's supposedly at the end of your spine and is completely useless. Now that I think about it, are humans the only species that have no visible tail? Why do animals have tails, anyway? I know kangaroos need them to jump but what about dogs or cats?

I'll go and try to find some information on the subject. Stay tuned.

TV

I got to watch "My Big Fat Greek Life" yesterday and it was a bit disappointing. I don't know why but I expected it to be better. First of all, why is Toula now called Nia and she still works at the restaurant? Isn't it supposed to be a continuation of the movie? The Aunt is the only interesting thing in the show.

I watched "Road Trip". It was completely gross and is just a teenage guy's fantasy. Some of the characters were creepy and would probably turn out to be in jail, especially the guy that almost ate the mouse. The genius druggie guy was really cute (apart from the sideburns).

No Chance

I will never see Nate again! He's been replaced. Can my life get any more unfair? (I know it can but I'm trying to be as dramatic as I feel.)

Apart from the new 16 year old, we've got another guy. When my manager introduced him to me, for some reason I thought he was her son and she was introducing him to be polite. I didn't realise he was going to work. Maybe it is her son. That would be just wonderful! As if three family members weren't enough. Maybe I am mistaken and it isn't her son. Please let me be mistaken!!!!!

I'm quite upset that I never had the chance to start a conversation with Nate. I keep reminding myself of that quote "Not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck" but I really don't see how me never even having the chance to get to know Nate is lucky. They could've at least found some guy who I might like! My life is pathetic, I know.

My Message Board Has Visitors!

Ok, I'm in a good mood now!!!

My message board is not lonely anymore, it's got posts!!! So if after your first time check of it has made you forget about it, you should check it again. I can't guarantee that it has anything exciting but since you are a person and supposed to be curious by nature, you should give it a visit and maybe even post something!

Surprise Encounter

Guess who I saw today!!! Mark!!!

I was having lunch with a few other people, waiting for Amelia when someone just sat down at out table. I looked up and to my utmost surprise saw Mark! Talk about things happening when you least expect them. I wasn't expecting that to happen at all! I seriously thought that I'd never see him again which was fine with me since I don't like him anyway.

I kept annoying myself by being really shy and saying really stupid things when he was there. Why the hell do I care what he thinks!!!

Amelia saw Fabian and agreed that she completely understands what I was talking about, in case you think I'm exaggerating his behaviour.

Amy (remember? the depressed girl) sent me and the others an e-mail about how she wants to catch up. As soon as I saw an email from her I became all anxious. I was so glad that I wasn't the only one that she sent the email to. I know I'm probably sounding mean but she makes me very anxious.

I just checked my mark for an assignment that I did the morning it was due and it's not too good. You're probably thinking that I got a bad mark because I've done it at the last minute but truthfully, even if I started earlier I still would've written the same thing because the whole subject is stupid and pointless and I don't get why I have to do it at all.

Anyway, I'm not in a very good mood now so I'll go.

The Guy Next Door

I wrote the following yesterday but couldn't connect to the net so I'm posting it today.

I’ve never mentioned that I have a very cute neighbour because in the 6 years that I’ve lived at my house, I’ve only seen him a few times and we never talked. When I’ve just moved in, I was so excited that I lived (almost) next door to such a cute guy and I always fantasised about being really good friends with him and always hanging out together (like I did with my neighbour when I was nine). I even wrote a story about that. (If anyone wants to read it, let me know and I’ll send it to you.)

Unfortunately that never happened and after about a year I didn’t mind anymore because I found out that he’s not my type at all. (His mother used to catch the same train as me and my Mum in the morning so that was my source of information, if anyone was wondering.) I also lost interest in him after our first meeting when I was going out and saw him in front of his house. As I walked towards him, I sort of looked at him, thinking he was going to say hello to which I would return the greeting. I even remember telling myself to say hi first but I was young then and didn’t want to be the first one to say hi. I know that was stupid and immature. So I ended up walking past him, while almost staring at him, in silence. He didn’t say hi but just stared back.

So why am I mentioning him now, out of nowhere? Well, it’s not really out of nowhere because obviously something had to happen for me to bring it up. Today, when I was walking home, he drove up to his house, right when I was checking the mail. I turned around to see him. I thought he was going to ignore me, but when he looked at me, I sort of waved and as I was mumbling hi, he said, “Hi, how’re ya going?” and actually waited for me to reply. Of course I didn’t reply because I thought his “how’re ya going” was just a greeting, not a real question. He sort of just smiled and went into his house.

I know I’m making way too big a deal out of it but I can’t help it. Although I’m not that interested in him, for some reason, I really want him to like me. It’s stupid, I know.

Well, now that I’ve got that off my chest, I feel better.

For any Australian who watch(ed) “Big Brother 3”, did you notice that Dan was in “Supermodel”?

I was proud of the writers of “Felicity” because just as I was going to complain that there are too many perfect guys in the show, they went and made Noel more real. I don’t even know any good looking guys like in “Felicity” so to make them have great personalities as well was just too much.

Hang on! I do know a good looking guy like in “Felicity” – Nate!!! Don’t know about his personality though. Speaking of Nate, I think I’m going to reach almost the extremes of disappointment because they’ve got a new guy who is apparently going to replace Nate before I see him again!!! It’s times like these that I believe in cosmic forces and that they’re having fun playing a cruel joke with my life.

I was a bit disappointed with “Gilmore Girls” because their conversations are so unrealistic and all characters talk in the same way. That’s April’s and my big problem with our show but even our show is not as bad. Also, Lorelai’s character was VERY annoying and the actress that plays Rory is too skinny. I think she’s worse than Calista Flockhart.

Keri Russell (the actress that plays Felicity) is very pretty in a non traditional way (which is the best way to be pretty), I noticed. I always thought that it would be great to look like Katie Holmes but she’s too tall. I also thought it’d be great to look like Natalie Portman but her hair is too thin. But looking like Keri Russell would be perfect. I know I should be happy with the way I look but it’s nice to choose what you want to look like.