Dancing, Reading and Accepting

Amelia is becoming my dance buddy. Our dance course is almost finished and we'll be going to a dance workshop next.

Today the teacher was checking that everyone could do specific moves. I was fine until we had to do the 'vertical figure eight'. She looked at me and said, "Not quite there," and tried to show me again. After a few tries, she told me that she will take me aside later. Once she moved on to the next person, Amelia did the Bring it On scene, "These are not spirit fingers! THESE are spirit fingers!" which just cracked me up.

Anyway, one of those moments that you had to be there.

Went to a library near my work today and started reading Watch Your Mouth by Daniel Handler. He has this technique of talking directly to the reader which I love. And it was a little graphic but not in a gross or cheesy way. If only the front cover wasn't so obvious, I would've borrowed it.

On a totally different note, April found out Blog Guy smoked. First thing she said, "Why does this always happen to me?!" I guess you have to learn that nothing in life is perfect so there will always be something. Apparently this guy quit a month ago but she's already like, "But how can I believe that he won't start again? If we ever start going out and he knows how much I hate it, he'll do it behind my back and I'll never trust him!"

You can see why we get on. She's also the Queen of Getting Carried Away.

Anyway, she said she accepted it and was glad I didn't tell her. (He told her himself.) Now she's just going crazy because she doesn't know how he feels. This guy is pretty horrible in the way that he keeps flirting and getting her hopes up. How's a girl supposed to tell if a guy likes her or likes to flirt.

That made me realise that David and I never really flirted before going out. I feel like I missed out on something. Guess we'll have to make up for lost time.

Speaking of David, he totally stuffed up his job interview today. I really wanted him to get it because he said that if he did he'd study part-time. That of course would mean that we could move our plans forward and I wouldn't have to wait another year. And it would be a great thing for him because I know he feels too old to be still studying.

Oh well, I wouldn't have expected him to do it well with only several hours of sleep. I don't see why he has to keep working ridiculous hours with his busy uni timetable. I'm sure he'd be able to find something better. I don't know how to make him see that everyone needs sleep, including him.

I miss him.

He calls me at work now which is nice but hard to talk properly with everyone listening.

Just wish he was here with me. I don't get why I have to miss him so much all the time.

Love is crazy. It seriously drives me nuts. I can be really annoyed at him and desperately want to be with him in the same moment. When he's with me, I can't get enough. When he's not, there's nothing else on my mind. Everything reminds me of him. I can combine him into any conversation. I can't sleep if we didn't come to an agreement on something.

We made a deal that we can never go to sleep upset with each other. David broke this on Sunday. He told me he was fine when he wasn't. Next day he called to say he couldn't sleep all night because he kept thinking about it.

My mind also keeps playing a 'moment' we had a few weeks ago. It was really raw and touching. Made me feel like I wouldn't be able to cope if anything happened to him. If I can't have him, I don't want anybody else.

At work, when Eve talks to her husband on the phone, her voice is always different. Unlike her usual friendly work tone, with him she is abrupt and annoyed, like she doesn't have to be nice to him. I hope I never become like that. Why do people treat the ones they love worse than those they don't? I understand they don't have to impress their loved ones but what difference should that make?

When David was telling me how he stuffed up the interview, I got annoyed and was about to sound snappish and irritated. I stopped myself. If a work colleague was telling me this, I'd be encouraging and compassionate. So I told David not to worry and that things happen. And you know what he said? He said, "Thanks, baby, for calling to see how the interview went". I mean, of course I'd call! But he still thanked me to show he appreciated it. If I told him off, I doubt he would've said it.

Treating people you love with the same tolerance that you treat people you want to impress, achieves so much more. It always feels better being loved by the person you love than being liked by people we don't really care about.

Ok, so once again, I have ranted about several different topics. I just missed blogging after not being able to connect to it for a week. I might talk about blog dependency another time.