The Orange Relief

My Mum thinks I've gone mad. And I would agree with her.

I found a way to distract myself from my painful sugar cravings (you'd think I was withdrawing from drugs from the way I go on). Peeling oranges. Who would've thought such an ordinary activity could have such a calming effect?

The thing is I don't even want to eat the oranges (unless they're sweet). I just want to peel them. I was feeling so on edge because I couldn't have chocolate and didn't want any more fruit that I went around the house asking who wanted an orange, just so I could peel one.

I peeled it perfectly and then made a picture out of the skin.

No, I'm really not going crazy. Much.

I'm becoming like one of those obsessive compulsive people. Only instead of washing my hands 17 and a half times, I peel oranges.

Why isn't it as easy as just stopping eating the food? You'd think, just don't eat it. What's so hard about that? Maybe I just lack any sort of will-power.

Blogging also helps, which might explain why I blogged three times today. I also washed the car, which I very rarely do.

My cravings for David also increased a lot. Maybe to make up for the chocolate. I wish I could've seen him today but he had to study and apply for internships. I wish he'd pick up his phone now. I bet his sister is on the phone and he's not in the same room as his mobile. Argh.

I have also been getting carried away with plans that I shouldn't be making right now. Is it my fault that I wish David was around 24/7? Maybe if he wasn't so freaking lovable, it would be easier to only see him on the weekends. I don't think I can wait another 18 months. I'm sure they'll go quickly when we reach the end, but right now, every hour seems to drag on. I just can't take it anymore. I'm not a patient person (even though people at work seem to think I am). I guess it's easy to be patient for things you don't really want right now. David is a totally different matter.

While I'm at unloading my frustrations, why the hell did my stats go down? Damn, I promised myself I would never point out that I care, but I mean I don't write this blog just so I can read it. I guess readers who liked reading about the loneliness of my single life aren't really interested anymore. And I don't advertise this blog on blogger like I used to. And I don't plan to. Gosh, the paradox of wanting people to read, yet wanting to stay anonymous.

I hope I get over this want to share my personal life with the rest of the world. It's so self-obsessed. Not that I deny that but still. I need to stop thinking I'm such an interesting person, because everyone else thinks the same (I mean, that they're interesting), which means that I'm just like everyone else. Oh, I think I already wrote about that at one point during my three years of blogging. I feel like I'm just repeating the same ideas and not coming up with anything new.

Even my relationship is not offering any new insights. I mean, I know everyone gets that I'm crazy in love with a guy. What else is there to say? Yeah yeah, I know there's plenty but it's all the same, going in circles. I miss David blah blah. He's the best etc.

I think I need to go and peel an orange.