Must Resist Sleep and 'Important People'

My goal for tonight: don't go to sleep until at least 10pm.

Why the hell do I feel so sleepy? As soon as it gets dark, my eyes take it as a cue to close.

Need to distract myself.

Can't stop thinking of the weekend... Makes me miss David. Had a long horrible nightmare last night. Hasn't happened for ages. I bet if David was with me, it wouldn't have happened.

That's right, I was going to distract myself. I'll tell you something April said to me on Saturday that offended me a bit. She was telling me how she didn't get any interviews to clerkships and I think she thought I was looking down on her or something even though I didn't think it was a big deal. (They're extremely hard to get, especially for lawyers as competition is very tough.)

I told her it might even be for the best (which I truly believe as those big firms have very stressful work environments) and jokingly said, "Maybe you can work at [suburb I work in] and we could have lunch together!" She just gave me this 'look' and said, "Uh... yeah..." in the "I don't think so!" tone, like this suburb was beneath her and that it couldn't possibly have any good law firms.

Then she said how she wanted to volunteer to help low-income earners with their legal problems. I said it was a great idea and it would look great on her resume. And she said, "That's not why I want to do it! I want to help people!" I told her that of course I knew she'd be helping but I was just 'saying' that it would also increase her chance of getting a job. So then she kept repeating how she just wanted to help and she wasn't looking for rewards.

I wanted to say, "If you want to help so much, why don't you just do it?!" David's been doing volunteer work all year and doesn't go on about how he wants to help people, he just does it.

Anyway, it's not the first time she said things like that. I think I even mentioned in this blog how she stresses her point of wanting to help people, yet doesn't do anything about it. And it really bugs me how she looks down on where I work.

So ok, graphic design doesn't make that much of a difference to the world and doesn't directly help people, but let's just take it all out. The world would be pretty boring. Of course everyone needs people in the 'basic' professions - doctors, lawyers, farmers etc. but it's all the other people that make the world fun. Every profession has a purpose, otherwise no one would pay for it. Every efficient employee is making the world run just a little bit smoother.

Well, now that I've distracted myself for a little bit, I'm ready to go. For now.