I'm Not That Unlikeable, Just Bitter

Tim is coming this weekend. Lauren told me about it last night.

Then today, I got a message from him to tell me personally. He must've gotten my number from Lauren. I'm way too happy about a guy asking for my number. Even if it is someone who's not boyfriend material. Oh well, he's not too bad, just not my type.

He asked what I was doing on the weekend and I wanted to say something that wouldn't make me seem like a sad case who has no plans but at the same time would allow me to meet up with him whenever he's free. Went with the "Not sure yet".

He said he was meeting up with his friend and then has Monday and Tuesday to do whatever. There's no way I could meet him on Monday since I'm doing that dance course. I would invite him but it would be too awkward. And Tuesday, I could only do after work when I'm positive I'm going to be tired. And he might be leaving that night anyway. Not sure.

I need more time to come up with a good plan where he introduces me to his friend. I would suggest going clubbing but Lauren wouldn't come 'cause she doesn't like that stuff and it would make it hard to talk. Don't want to go to pubs or bars either. Just going out to eat is a bit boring. Too bad he didn't come when I volunteered at that festival a couple of weeks ago. That would've made a great outing without any awkwardness. Must think of something fun to do!

When I got his message I couldn't concentrate on boring work anymore. It was a nice feeling to have something interesting to think about.

Speaking of work, I had lunch with 2 women today who were really nice. Actually everyone there is so nice, it makes my job a lot easier to bear. When I made some mistakes 'cause the work was so mechanical and monotonous, I couldn't concentrate (and you know, I don't understand the skill of concentration), the people who it affected were SOOO nice about it, I felt like hugging them. My past job experiences taught me that people will get angry even if they even only think you made a mistake. They will act condescending and mean. But not here. I'm just not used to working with such understanding people.

During lunch, in the length of the first 15 minutes, a woman asked if I had a boyfriend. I wanted to scream that it was none of her business but I did something worse. I asked if she had any kids, having the feeling that she wanted to but couldn't. You should've seen how quiet she got. And her smile dropped in a second. I felt so bad about it. But hey, at least she has her husband to support her, whereas I'm sure I'll have to go through that alone.

I know I'm becoming such a horribly bitter person. Might go eat some chocolate to make myself nicer.