Past Hurt Resurfaces

I read somewhere a while ago that being fired is one of the most traumatic life experiences. (The most being the death of a partner.)

As you might recall, it's almost a year since I was fired. I haven't talked about that event for a while, but it often pops up in my mind. I always tell myself that I'm much better off now and that it was for the best but that logical thinking still doesn't make that hurt go away completely.

It doesn't affect me that much but I wish that if that memory came up again, I just wouldn't care. At all. I don't want it to upset me even a tiny microscopic bit.

You might ask what brought this all on again for me to write about it. Well, yesterday I semi-accidentally stumbled on that company's website and decided to see who was working there now.

The site has been completely redesigned. It's all cool and funky now. There's a section about every person who works there, with their photo and a blurb that they wrote about themselves. There are a lot of new employees. Most of them are students (since obviously they don't have the money to pay professionals). And they took two people for the role I was in. But no more 'Marketing Coordinator' titles, they are both 'Administrative Assistants'.

Everyone's blurbs make the place sound like a really fun and exciting place to work. What an illusion.

I read Renee's blurb and she wrote, "People say that I hold this place together and it would fall apart with out me..." Typical. Up herself, as usual. She also wrote, "I never went to uni due to illness (allergic to study) and before you can say "but wouldn't you be able to get a good job?", I went on to become an Office Manager". Wow! A real achievement. She also wrote that her job involved "everything to do with running the company". I didn't know that ordering stationery and fixing the photocopier was all that was needed for a successful business.

I don't know why I should be bitter, but it's always (well, hopefully not) going to be a sensitive spot for me. To have someone like her influence me getting fired. Over freaking nothing. The injustice.

I told David about it and he said that instead of getting upset, I should laugh. Laugh that now I'm earning twice what they were paying me, and not doing any administrative work, and have great flexible hours.

I'm better off, I know it. If only my emotions would catch up to my brain.