From The Past 2 - Angst

Here is an angsty diary entry that I wrote on 17.12.02.

I read a lot of Katie's journal today and it brought up a lot of anger in me. For example, I can't stand a number of people but I just try to avoid my hatred for them. I think I would feel so much better if I told them how much they suck.

One of these is Shannon. She's so fake that Barbie dolls seem real in comparison. She agrees with everything and everyone, even contradicting herself. But with me, she's such a bitch because I can see right through her. I can't believe she's going to be a doctor. People like her should be put in a plastic pink box and sold at discounted price. I know this is mean but I feel better after I let my feelings out.

I'll never forget how at year 11 camp, she was bitching about Kate (who she didn't even know properly since she only came to our school in year 11) with a group of other girls when Kate has never done anything to her. Another girl asked me if I wanted to join "the bitch session' and I said something like, "Don't you have anything better to do" and Shannon replied, "It's just a bit of gossip." It was so revolting that I left.

Also, when Amy was having her nervous breakdown, Shannon would always pretend to be on her side and listen to Amy's whinging. Then when Amy wasn't there, she'd be on Melissa's side and bitch about her. It was disgusting.

I'm also disgusted that I'm starting to do that. When Amy calls me, I act nice to her but then bitch about her to Nadine. I'm so angry at myself for that. I'm just sick of Amy so much. She always has to rub things in to make herself feel better. I kinda feel guilty writing how other people suck. I'm not close to perfect but at least I try to be honest and I take people's feelings into consideration. I just so can't stand fake and hypocritical people who feel good when they put down other people. No one in the world is perfect but can't everyone admit that and try to improve?