Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Work

I have to go to work soon. I have the whole family of bosses working with me today! Joy!

TV Obsession and Broken VCR

My VCR finally completely broke. I asked my parents if we were going to get a new one and they said no because the old one has a guarantee to get it fixed for free. I don’t know how long that will take. How am I supposed to watch TV if I can’t tape the shows that I want to watch because they are always on at inconvenient times (when I’m not home). I know I fuss over TV shows too much.

Questions & Answers

If you’ve just started reading my blog, you can still answer the questions that I asked in the first entries. Just wanted to let you know that.

Monday, April 28, 2003

Constant Complaining

You've been warned!

Last day of holidays. Time is flying by so very fast. I'm going to finish uni soon.

Before uni started, I wrote a list of all the things that I predict will happen before I finish uni and I sealed it in an envelope so I won't open it before then. I tried to forget what I wrote so it'd be more fun to read later but I can't forget one thing. I wrote that by the end of uni, I will have at least 2 boyfriends. It seemed like a reasonable prediction. I guess not.

Anyway, Saturday should've been really great because all of my four closest friends could go out, but for some reason I didn't have that much fun. Maybe I imagined this but Christine seemed really distant to me the whole time, and so did Amelia. They probably weren't. It's just sometimes I can be ultra sensitive to every little tiny thing. Saturday was probably that time. I also kept panicking that I could get a really bad stomachache (because of my gallstones) so I didn't drink anything and I really wanted to try some stuff. That really annoyed me. It's not that I really like drinking, quite the opposite, but when everyone has drinks that I've never tried before, I get curious and want some too.

Also, the club that we went to had really bad music at the beginning which got only a bit better with time. This was a problem because since I had to get home before midnight, I kept getting irritated that we were just sitting around and not dancing. Also some guy decided to stub his cigarettes in the ash tray that was on our table.

I was surprised that Christine didn't bring her boyfriend, which was strange since she always drags him along. Actually, now that I think about it, she hasn't brought him along since our chat about the issue.

On Sunday I had to go to work in the morning. The boss on that day was the daughter. This is what I'm going to call my managers to distinguish between them without using their names. The husband, the wife and the daughter. The daughter was her usual bitchy self. I really can't stand her. Every time I do the right thing, she uses that as an example of why I should always do that and she says it as if I never do it. If I just confused you, I'll give you an example:

We were running out of receipt paper so I told her that. So instead of saying thank you or that she'll get some more or she'll show me how to put new paper in, she starts giving me a lecture on how I should always tell her when we're running out of receipt paper. What the hell!!! That's just what I did, you stupid woman! Of course I didn't say that but she was really making me furious because she always gives me those lectures as if I did something wrong.

That's not the only way that she shows her difficult personality but I won't submit you to any more examples of her rotten behaviour.

Instead I will bitch about channel 10. Yesterday, while I was at work being told off I was thinking about getting home and relaxing in front of the TV, watching "My Big Fat Greek Life". I was really looking forward to the show for about a week. I know this probably sounds nerdy but I have a deep kind of interest for TV shows (as people that read my whole journal would know, don't you). So I switched on the TV at 7pm and what do I see? The stupid "Big Brother 3" introduction which was supposed to be after "My Big Fat Greek Life". I don't know why but I was quite furious. I tried to make myself calm down because it was only a show, no big deal, but it was so disappointing. How could they just change the time?!

So while I was cursing in my head for channel 10 making such a big deal out of "Big Brother", I watched all of it. And to make it even worse, I enjoyed it! I'm so ashamed of this. And of course, I will watch it today too because I, like lots of ther people, are influenced my the media and love light entertainment which involves extroverted attention-seeking people humiliating themselves on public television.

Friday, April 25, 2003

Words Of Inspiration

I just wrote 7 pages for April and my show after weeks of nothing. I was meaning to write but just couldn't get up to it. What do you think motivated me to write so much in one day? A very short SMS from Amelia about a completely different matter. Just the way she wrote the SMS made me laugh out loud and sent me to the computer with full of inspiration. Not the inspiration from the SMS but the inspiration from the way Amelia can make me laugh with only a couple of words.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Dreaming Of Uni In The USA

or maybe just the uni that Felicity goes to.

I was just thinking about college/university life in the US and I was wondering if it's anything like it is on TV? Do most people live in dorms with roommates? Are there always social events that everyone goes to? What does the RA do? How long does it take to finish a degree? What's prep school? And how come people go to law school after college? Can't they do a law degree straight after school? I'm so interested. Maybe I should get a pen pal from the US to answer all my questions or you can just e-mail me :)

If college/uni life really is like it's on TV, I feel I'm missing out on something very fun. Does anyone else feel like this?

"TV Humour"

My new show to watch is "Felicity". I didn't really get into it the first time it was on TV but now I really like it. The style of it reminds me a bit of "Once and Again". I guess I'll have to tape it once uni starts again. I don't understand why channel 7 has to show it at 2pm in the afternoon when the show's target audience is not at home. Because channel 7 is stupid. Or I just don't get it.

I checked the net about the "Bachelor 2" couple and they've split. Sounds like Aaron cheated but I can't be sure. Now this sounds like reality. Maybe not the reality that I like but reality that is real.

I've started to watch "Passions" again, only because it's after "Felicity" and it's hilarious. Before it was just plain irritating because every scene lasted a few weeks at least and the show always had flashbacks which multiplied the repetition even more. Now they don't do that as much but they have the corniest lines. I'll give you an example:

A stupid 50 year old whines to his evil father (with no conscience) that he feels bad about killing his sister to which the evil old father replies, "Would you like cheese and crackers with that whine?"

I couldn't help but laugh. The joke is so stupid but it's impossible not to giggle. I also love how the resident witch refers to the evil as her "friends in the basement". What the hell?! The writers must have fun writing the script. They probably have a competition going on about who can write the worst jokes.

No Time To Be Sick

I have to have the stupid operation to take my gallbladder out. I seriously don't have the time for it because I'm supposed to have 2 weeks rest after it which means I can only have it in the winter holidays but the stupid surgeon is taking 2 weeks off then so be can be with his children (who also have holidays). I can't take 2 weeks off during uni. This sucks. I really don't need this. I just don't have time to be sick.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Escapism

I watched the "Bachelor 2" finale yesterday. It was too sickening. I'm sorry but I can't help being bitter. I refuse to believe that the show represents reality and real people. Do you know any real people like that? Maybe it's just America. I really liked Brooke but I guess she's not as well suited to Aaron as Helene. I wonder if they got married after all. I'm going to look them up on the net. I wish the "Bachelorette" was Brooke because she's so much more likeable than Trista.

"Gilmore Girls" is on next week! Yay! Another highly unrealistic show that I love. Like April said, people like shows like that because it's escapism. I don't care what it is but I want to live in them.

I've started a small list of practical things to do in order to find RG. I failed to do the first one already. I hope I have another opportunity to try it. Are you wondering what it was? It's nothing too exciting but I'll tell you anyway. My first (and only) two things on my list are:

1. Call Nadine and ask her to come and invite some guys on Saturday night. (I was hoping she got a boyfriend by now so she could invite his friends but when I called her today she didn't mention anything relating to that and there was no good opportunity to ask her.)
2. Next time when I'll work with Nate, start a conversation with him.

I told you they were pretty boring but it's something that I think I can accomplish. If you have any other ideas to add to my list, please let me know. I'll be very grateful.

Nadine is moving house. I'm so excited for her. She lived in the previous one for all the time that I knew her and it was something that significantly associated with her but now she's moving. It's weird. She said that she felt strange packing up all the things that made most of her life. It's funny how that sounds as if she is an old lady that lived there all her life. I wonder what it's like to move when you are really old. My grandparents moved country when they were over 70. That's amazing! But that's my grandparents. They are very strong people, even if I do say so myself.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Love Wreck

The title of this entry is as tacky as it should be.

I don’t know why I changed my usual radio station to 106.5 so I can listen to love song dedications. I haven’t listened to them for over a year (at least). They depressed me too much. But now, I can’t get enough. This is probably because I’m going completely crazy over my lack of boyfriend situation. Seriously, I’m becoming a complete emotional wreck and that’s something I never want to become. Oops, too late! I must snap out of it SOON! I doubt that will be happening.

Online Privacy

I can't believe that this blog is on Yahoo! Search and Google and other searches. I thought you had to submit the site for people being able to search for it there. I don't know if I'm too happy about that. I mean, it's nice for more people being able to find and read it but there's more of a chance of someone that I know reading it. I blocked the IP addresses of people that I don't want seeing it but I don't know if that will work because when I put April's IP address into a search engine, it came up as someone else'e name, not hers. What does that mean?

There are also some people that I don't want reading this who's IP addresses I don't know so I can be pretty paranoid about that. Another HUGE problem is that my Dad noticed me reading my own blog. I don't know if he realised that it was mine but he did comment on the title. And I can't block his IP address because it's the same as mine. I hope he forgot about it and dismissed it as just another webpage that I was looking through. I mean, if he wanted, he could find the address, just typing in the title into a search engine. I would be so extremely embarrassed.

When I started this blog, I knew there was a possibility of someone I know reading this and recognising me but the possibility of that was too small to outweigh the benefits of me having the blog. But now, I don't know. I really like writing here for people that I don't know to read but this is not something I want my family or friends knowing about.

2nd Best Thing After RG

April is my star/soul sister. I don't remember where I've heard that term, probably some European movie. A star sister is when another person (that's not related) is almost the same as you. When that person has an almost exact genetic personality make-up as you i.e. you don't have to look alike but you think the same.

I've spent Saturday evening at April's house and we had a conversation that before I didn't dream of having with anyone except with Nadine. I love having deep and meaningful conversations with people because you find out so much about them that you never knew for sure before. Although I want to tell you what she said but I won't. It's not my place. I just know that I'm not the only one that feels the way I do about different issues and that's nice to know.

I was feeling pretty bad about not having RG so I thought that being with a close friend would take my mind off it because I thought we would talk about really unimportant stuff because I wasn't in the mood for any intense discussions. But it's weird that when we were talking, we gradually started chatting about things that really mattered and I didn't mind. I was very interested in what April had to say.

I felt so grown-up talking about adult stuff while drinking tea. I could imagine us being 90 years old and still talking like that and drinking tea because isn't what old ladies do? Also, since her parents weren't there, it felt like I was visiting April at her own flat. Whereas before we used to talk about the past a lot, yesterday we talked about the future. Where we would be, what it'd be like etc.

I'm so lucky to have friends like that. I don't know what I would do without them.

Friday, April 18, 2003

Birthday Party, Unexpected Future Visit, Friends

I’ve just came back from my cousin’s (Jenna) birthday party. She turned four.

My aunt, Naomi (Jenna’s Mum), Jeanne (a close family friend), Aunt Jemma (Naomi’s Mum) and my Mum were talking in great detail about what my relatives always talk about at birthdays – pregnancy and labour. Since Jeanne is pregnant with her first child, the others felt a great need to divulge every little piece of information that concerns being in labour and straight afterwards. Apart from being completely grossed out and rethinking my wish to have children, I actually learnt some things. I’m not going to say what because if I do I’m sure you wouldn’t want to read my blog ever again.

Being around family always makes me feel the same – depressed about not having a partner. What else is new.

While I was there, I thought of Nate. I don’t know why. Probably because he’s the only guy that I have hope to go out with.

I’m going to April’s house tomorrow night. I haven’t seen her for ages. I wanted to go out with the others as well tomorrow because lots of my parents’ friends are coming over and I didn’t want to be there. Unfortunately, Amelia, Claudia and Christine are going to a concert.

I didn’t know that Talia and Judy were planning on coming with their parents. Talia’s Mum told mine that they (Talia and Judy) wanted to see me. If they did, why didn’t they tell me anything about it? I didn’t expect them to come with their parents like they did when they were little. I wouldn’t mind seeing them but it won’t be fair to April to cancel at the last moment. They won’t be coming anymore since I won’t be here.

I wish April lived close by so I could stay at her house for longer.

I should call Nadine soon ‘cause I haven’t for a while. I hope she’s not mad at me for that. I saw her ‘best friend’ Kirsten yesterday. She dislocated her shoulder so we talked a bit about that and that was it. I also saw Jacqui. I also talked to guys a lot yesterday. In case you’re wondering, Fabian wasn’t one of them, thankfully. This reminds me to tell you that Fabian was entertaining the whole class on Tuesday by openly flirting with our tutor. Maybe he realised that since he can’t flirt with the good looking one next door, our one would have to do. She was pretty good about it. He defines tackiness. I’ll give you an example:

Tutor enters the classroom.
Tutor: It’s so hot here.
Fabian: No, that’s just me.

Another example:

After explaining about relationships between different concepts, the tutor asks what the relationship was (between two different things). Fabian answers with, “I don’t know. I don’t have a girlfriend”. Of course you don’t. The only relationship that you have is with yourself, and everyone knows how loving that relationship is.

Do you know anyone like him? Tell me about him/her. People like that entertain me as long as they don’t bother me.

Anyway, Lauren said that we should meet up in the holidays. I fully agree. I just have to think of something to do or somewhere to go. It’s not like with my friends where we can just agree to meet up for no reason. With new friendships, you have to plan what to do. It’d be really good if everyone could be close friends straight away but nothing except time can cement strong friendships.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

Crush

I've met THE cutest guy today!!! It was so long since I've had a crush on anyone that I forgot what it felt like. I don't want to get my hopes up but it's so hard not to think about him.

Where do you think I've met him? Uni? No. Work? Yes! I knew there was only one guy who works at the shop (apart from the boss) but I didn't expect him to be anything like he is! Sure, I hoped I'd like him but I always hope that about all the guys that I meet.

I can't believe that I can't stop thinking about him. He probably has a girlfriend for all I know! The worst thing is that I won't see him for almost a month (at least!) because Thursday night is the only time where our rosters coincide. And it's only for 45 minutes.

Also, after last Thursday (that I worked) I wasn't even sure that Nate worked there anymore. I remember being really anxious to see who the guy was, thinking that to my bad luck he'll probably be too old, too young or just too wrong for me. Today was a very nice surprise! Although these sort of good things are bad in a way that they make me really excited at first and then follow with disappointment. The worst, of course, is the waiting time when nothing happens although a lot happens in my head.

I should know that crushes are bad bad bad but I need to be reminded all the time because I forget that really easily.

Monday, April 14, 2003

My Future Entry In The Guiness Book Of Records

Yesterday my parents were happily talking about their coming up 20 year anniversary while I was there and Mum said to me, "When I was your age, I really worried about not ever finding someone and look at me now." Dad was all smiling and I thought to myself, "If only I would be so lucky". [Now I got that Kylie MInogue song in my head but that's beside the point.]

A few days before she started asking me about guys again. (She hasn't done that in a while.) She was really careful though and just started saying that Judy has got a boyfriend that cooks. It's weird to think of Judy with a boyfriend. The only time we've been friends was when we were the only twelve year olds that still liked to play with Barbie dolls. After that she changed her personality drastically on average once a year. First she really got into Japanese cartoons. Then she decided to become a mechanic because she couldn't be a race car driver. People who didn't know her used to think that she was a boy. She looked, walked and acted like one. It was really strange to see her like that after knowing a really girly girl who played with dolls and liked unicorns. The last time I saw her was at the beginning of this year because she is at the same uni as me now. She looked 'normal'. Kind of grown up (especially that I haven't seen her before then for about 3/4 years). It's hard to imagine her with a boyfriend now.

Everyone is getting one except me. Maybe I'll make the Guiness Book of Records for never having a boyfriend all my life. I really wonder if I'm the only one like that.

I Miss...

I miss being a kid. I haven't thought about it for a while but after I watched "Lizzie McGuire" today, I felt a bit nostalgic.

I miss being able to really enjoy TV shows with kids in them, no matter how bad they are. Also, I don't watch as many cartoons as I'd like to. I also miss being able to walk into Toys'R'Us and plan what to ask for Christmas/birthday and know that I'll enjoy it for more than 5 minutes. I also miss making up and playing games in which you could be anything you want to. I miss being able to go have crushes on celebrities while knowing that you'd never even meet them. I miss feeling everything magnified because it's all new. I miss filling up with excitement when thinking about high school and then uni. I miss hoping that something really great might happen soon and knowing that the best times are yet to come. I miss the fun of childhood.

Although, like I probably mentioned before, I don't want to grow up, my life has been improving with every year but some things I'll never not miss about being a kid.

Friday, April 11, 2003

Underground Adventure

I had a very fun morning today! We went to the Fine Arts College to the underground tunnels. The other four girls were so scared. I didn't understand what was so scary. It was just dark and isolated and something like you'd see in movies (eg. the underground tunnels in Harry Potter). I was so excited to be there and explored as much as possible (to the surprise of others who were all clinging to each other). One girl also kept shrieking at the sight of her own shadow, which was a bit too much. I was quite disappointed that they weren't as excited as me about the whole place. I wanted to stay for heaps longer to wander around. I love stuff like that!

Blow Your Breath Away
The tutorial after my little adventure wasn't as good. I was sitting in front of Fabian and not paying any attention to him, thinking that he got over annoying me but he just had to do something. There I was, actually paying attention when I felt a strong breath on the back of my neck. I got annoyed at Fabian for sighing so strongly but dismissed it as him just being ignorant of anyone around him. I moved a bit forward, away from him. Then he tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Just kidding!"

So he did it on purpose!!! He intentionally breathed as much as possible on the back of my head and neck. If only his breath stank, then I'm sure he would've really regretted his action. I know that he wanted some reaction so I just ignored him. He completely broke my concentration because I was so annoyed and couldn't stop thinking why he has to get on my nerves so much and how I can get him to stop. Since I couldn't answer that, I resolved to imagine him choking just because he ran out of breath when he blew on me. This was of course in a cartoonish Ally McBeal fashion. That made me feel better and I resumed paying attention to the boring lecture with an up-himself lecturer.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Justin

When I came to uni early today, I had to talk to Justin. He is the weirdest guy and I used to tell my (school) friends amusing things that he's done last year. They'd crack up laughing just by what I told them and recollections of events are never as funny as when they actually occur. The wierd thing is that for the life of me I cannot remember all those funny events that happened. I don't know why but this year he sort of stayed in the background (which is why I haven't mentioned him).

Anyway, I haven't talked to him for ages so today I was surprised that he sounded quite normal, except that when I talked, he'd move to my left side and then when he talked he'd move in front of me again. He kept doing that for about 10 minutes. Strange.

Work Problems

I got told off at work today, again. I was waiting at the counter for customers because my manager said that there has to be someone at the register at all times. He comes up and says, "No no no! We never stand around and do nothing! Go and check on the sale tables!" I, then, calmly replied, "But there won't be anyone at the register." He got all fidgety and said, "Just check on the tables."

He contradicts himself all the time and I get in trouble for it. Also, since the shop is also run by his wife and daughter, it makes it even harder for me because not only do they contradict themselves, they contradict each other.

Personally, I don't understand how you can work with your family members. It would get so frustrating at home if something goes wrong at work. It'd be much nicer (and easier) to leave work problems at work but that would be impossible if the problem people at work come home with you. What do you, guys, think about this issue (ie working with family members)?

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

A Thought

A thought just came to my head: what do people think about when they are on trains or buses? I'm eagerly waiting for your answers. If you don't want to e-mail, you can post it on my message board! As you know, I REALLY REALLY want someone to post on my message board. I was contemplating on posting on it myself but I don't want to if no one else will reply. I was also meaning to make a comments window that most bloggers have. It's easier for readers to post on that, rather than e-mail.

Wasting Time

I have heaps of work to do but I have to go to work in a couple of hours so I don't have time to do much now. And this is a great time waster. I don't really have too much to write about so I'll just ramble on about random things.

Remember when on March 18, I wrote about Jack forgetting something and me refusing to let him borrow mine? Well, yesterday I forgot the exact same thing. I realised this on the train and spent the rest of my train journey planning how to ask someone else to borrow theirs without Jack hearing it. I also then imagined how horrible it'd be if the person I was planning on asking wouldn't let me borrow theirs. Karma probably comes to mind. But if Jack asked me again, I still wouldn't let him borrow mine. It all turned out well for me because Bill lent me his without hesitation. And Jack didn't even come to class. How lucky for me.

When I met Amelia (as I usually do now), I was made to realise again what an extremely nice person she is. She was rewriting her lecture notes so her friends (that weren't there) would be able to understand them. And let me tell you, her original notes were pretty clear to me. I would never do that. I just wouldn't be bothered. But then again, I'm lazy. When people (like her) do such nice things, it really motivates me to be really nice to that person.

I also saw Amelia's stalker. I've never even talked to him and he already gives me the creeps. Now I really understand why even the thought of him made Amelia queasy.

At the tutorial (the one with Fabian), there was this smart-arse guy who kept talking back to the tutor. It's good that the tutor is pretty strong and has a sense of humour. At least it made the tutorial more entertaining. Fabian was trying to join in (because he was obviously 'a bit' jealous of the attention) but it wasn't working too well. That was kinda funny.

He doesn't bother me anymore, thankfully, so now I can just laugh at him. Whereas before when he did annoy me, I just got really irritated and couldn't find anything about him to laugh about.

Monday, April 07, 2003

I had to tutor today. The girl that I tutor is so different from the one that I tutored before. It's almost impossible to make her smile. And I don't know how many brothers she has but there were always guys coming into the kitchen (where the lesson is) opening the fridge for 5 minutes and not taking anything out. I swear they were probably listening to what I was saying (which wasn't that interesting).

Not Fat And Not 50

Guess what, everyone?! I've got gallstones. Isn't that just wonderful. Especially that I'm about 20 years too young for it and don't fit any other causes (being overweight, had children early, have been using birth control pills for a long time or have fluctuating weight).

The doctor said that the gall bladder doesn't really have a function but that's not what the internet says. The gall bladder processes fat. I don't call that a 'useless' function.

At first the thing that worried me most about the operation (that I'm supposed to have) is having a huge scar but now with improved technology, the doctors don't even cut you up. But now the thing that worries me (apart from getting even worse pains that one person on the net said that they've got) is not being able to lose weight even if I'll eat healthy.

So I'll have to have a healthy diet and become fat anyway. How depressing is that!

If anyone else had this condition, I'd love to hear from you. Also, does anyone know any chat rooms that talk about this condition? I tried to look for some but to no avail.

Saturday, April 05, 2003

Talking To Strangers

I feel like writing something so I'll tell you about an incident at my job (the book shop one).

A was helping a woman pick out a book for her grandson and she went into a long story about the boy's life. It was so sad and personal and private that I didn't know what to do. I don't understand how people can tell such personal stories to complete strangers. It was basically about how the boy's mother doesn't want him and her new husband emotionally abuses him so he clings to her (the grandmother). The boy also thinks it's his fault that his parents broke up and his school work is sufferring. He is 7 but can't read. I just felt so sorry for the whole family. But what can I say? Maybe the woman just wanted to talk to someone. I hope it helped.

This wasn't the first time. Customers tells me so much and I only worked there for a week. It's good that I like talking to people because otherwise I'd go crazy.

I'm not sure if the manager likes me though.

Little Chat

I talked to my (maternal) grandma (the one that lives overseas) on the phone today. I haven't talked to her in months, although my Mum talks to her every week. I don't know why but although we are pretty close, I have nothing to say to her on the phone. I mean, what can I say when I haven't seen her in God knows how long.

Today was especially uncomfortable because she started asking me about guys. I was, like, "they're fine". She then goes, "Maybe I should send you some from here". And I replied a bit too suddenly, "No, don't". Well, there goes my try at making the whole topic casual. Then she was saying (probably more to comfort herself), "it's not time for guys yet, is it". I said, "Nah". I think she's worried about my lack of boyfriends, like my Mum (who doesn't approach the subject anymore). I'm already worried enough about it as it is, I don't need everyone making a fuss.

Am I the only one with this problem?

One of the main reasons for this blog was to make my problems not seem so unique but since no one answers my questions, maybe they are.

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Something New On Tuesday

Guess what?! Yesterday was the first Tuesday that Fabian didn't bother me! Isn't it amazing?! I think he was more worried about changing tutorials so he could have the 'cute' (in his opinion) tutor. He is so superficial.

Yesterday morning, I got to talk to a guy that I've seen around. He was pretty cool but on the ugly side. I know I'm the one who's sounding superficial now but looks do matter (no matter what anyone says). You don't have to be good looking to be attractive but you have to have something . When I was younger, I really believed that looks don't matter. Even in preschool I was the one that stood up for the 'fat' kid because I liked playing with her. And since I'm not exactly good looking, I should understand. However, this doesn't stop me from not 'liking' the guy because of his looks, even if his personality seems great.

I am such a hypocrite because I wouldn't want a guy to not 'like' me just because of my looks but I can't 'like' a guy because of his.

The Words Of Desperation

I couldn't connect to Blogger for some reason on Sunday after my whole entry got deleted so I wrote another one. Here it is.

My whole entry just got deleted. Wonderful. I don’t feel like rewriting it which is too bad ‘cause I wrote a few good sentences. I can’t repeat them now, though, because out of context they don’t sound as good.

In summary:
* grandparents came over for dinner which made me think that everyone in my family has good marriages and I’ll be the only one that’s single for life (which isn’t a new thought but since my brother is sick of hearing it, I’ll write it here; if you don’t want to read this, don’t).
* my life is great which makes me want RG even more because when my life is not so great, I’m not in the mood to care.
* Any suggestions to meet RG ‘naturally’ i.e. not online or anything like that?