Hold My Heart

The salesgirl at my work met her ex after not seeing him for two years. She said he's the love of her life but they will never be together. And meeting him after so long brought on so many memories that she completely broke down when she got home. What really struck me was when she said, "He still knows me better than I know myself".

I don't think David knows me so well. Many times he misinterprets me. Yet I didn't really give that much thought. I feel in love with him anyway. He always warms my heart. On Monday morning I was a little anxious about work because I had a very difficult task ahead so when I got a message from him to wish me an excellent day and that he thought I was the best, I immediately relaxed. Anything seemed possible because I knew that I always had David to go back to, even if everything else failed.

We talked every night this week and I still missed him terribly. He said the same thing. There were so many times we misunderstood each other or disagreed but there's always some invisible link pulling us together.

The idea of us living together seemed more attractive than ever. There's only so long my ear feels comfortable listening to a plastic receiver. How nice would it be to come home and he's there...

Can't wait till our little trip! Had to make sure that we won't be doing anything he's hoping we would. He asked why and I couldn't explain. There was no logical straight forward answer. Sounded so cheesy to say that I just wasn't ready. I guess it's that inner feeling like love. You can't feel it at first and then you just do and you feel more certain than anything. Maybe it's going to be the same. There'll be a moment when I just feel like I can do what I can't right now.

I'm so happy with how things are now and I love that he feels the same way about me. And it's not just in the things he says, which are so sweet (yet cheesy because he's just so typically romantic). There was a really beautiful quote about this but I can't find it. Basically it meant that it's not what someone says but what they mean behind it. And even though David's words may seem corny and cliche, I know how strongly he feels when he says those things. It doesn't help that I used to be cynical and can still imagine how I'd feel if I heard his lines said to someone else.

Like he said, "I was listening to romantic songs on the radio today and they all reminded me of you." Then how he has this way of looking at me that I can't even describle accurately. It makes me feel like he can't see anyone or anything else in the entire world. So focused and warm and content like I can make him completely happy just by being myself.