7 Months and Counting

I was thinking (yes, again) about how it's pretty cool that I wrote in this blog for 7 months. And since I wrote almost everything (because some things should stay private) that has happened to me, it's pretty interesting to read it again and remember some things that I've forgotten. I don't think I've really changed in the last 7 month but that's probably because 7 months is not a very long time.

I really didn't expect to be writing here for so long from the very first entry. Also when I re-read some entries, I noticed bad grammar and misspelt words (which irritates me in other blogs) so I changed those. Although I check every entry before I publish it, somehow, there are always errors that I miss. I can read an entry 5 times and only notice a mistake on the 6th time so please try to overlook any imperfections in the language.

Oh my God, what the hell am I going on about.

Baby Dreams

I had a weird dream a few days ago. I had a dream that I had a baby and the labour was completely painless and I felt the happiest I've ever been. What is my sub-consciousness trying to tell me?! Actually I've been dreaming of babies a lot lately. Not only human ones but kittens and puppies too. Weird...

Fear of Public Speaking

I had to do a small presentation today. I absolutely hate public speaking. I don't know why I get so panicky all the time. My heart starts beating faster, my breath gets uneven, blood rushes to my face, my hands get clammy. It's like some disease. And although logically in my head, I'm not stressed, it's an automatic reaction. It reminds me of that Pavlov experiment where the dog starts salivating every time it hears a bell because it associates food with the bell. Maybe it's the same thing with me and public speaking. Just the thought of it causes me to react physically, even though mentally I know it's stupid and nothing bad could happen.

I volunteered to go at the beginning because maybe if I force myself to do public speaking, I'll get over my fear of it. I've been trying to make myself get over it since high school and for some reason it's not working. Aren't you supposed to confront your fears in order for them to go away? Well, whose bright idea was that because it doesn't work.

Does anyone know how to get over the fear of public speaking? Or if you experienced and got over it, what did you do?