Inner Conflict

Inner Conflict

I'm having an inner conflict with myself again. Tomorrow, one of Christine's friends is having a party and said that she could invite anyone. April told me about this. We were planning on going because it's another great opportunity to meet new people. But it turned out that she won't be able to come. She said to call Christine to get the details.

I don't know if I want to go anymore because there won't be a single person that I'll know apart from Christine. One part of me thinks that that's a wonderful thing but the other side imagines how uncomfortable it will be.

Another problem is getting home. April said that Christine said that this guy's parties end at 4am so that means Christine will be there until then. And I will have to rely on her to get home and as we all know by now Christine is far from reliable. So I might be stranded there the whole night which I wouldn't mind if I knew the guy but I don't.

But I really want (no, need) to meet more people 'cause constant whining about not having a boyfriend and wishing that he would fall from the sky and land at my doorstep isn't helping.

This reminds me of Katie's party, but worse. It's worse because I'm not on best terms with Christine right now so it's almost like going to the party completely alone. If it was at a convenient place, I guess I could leave whenever if I didn't like it but it's not.

On the other hand, this could be SUCH a good opportunity to meet people...

I'm starting to go in circles now.

I should think of this as a logical problem. Ok... here's what I'll do. I'll ask Claudia if she'll be coming and if she is, she could give me a lift to the station and I'll have someone to talk to if I don't like the people there. If she's not, then I won't go and take comfort in the fact that I probably wouldn't meet anyone worth meeting there anyway. I mean, when was the last time I met someone interesting when I went out? Exactly.