Boyfriend and Friends

It's so odd, I'm chatting to April and Claudia online, after talking to David and all I can think is that I'd rather be talking to David because he's so much more fun. How can I not find my closest friends interesting anymore? Before David, they were all I had to make life enjoyable.

Now I'm just feeling strangely frustrated that David isn't here. Plus something a little odd happened. I asked him if he wanted to go out on Saturday and he said he did. Then I mentioned that April was the one organising the outing and he immediately said he didn't want to go but that I should still go. We didn't get to discuss it 'cause he said he had to go. I hate to end conversations when I'm not totally sure he's ok. It makes me worried and anxious.

I wrote him an email and I'll see him tomorrow so hopefully we can sort it out. I don't want to feel guilty for going out with my friends. Not like he doesn't let me, but it upsets me that he gets weird about it. I think it's 'cause he's not going out with his friends much. They've all sort of abandoned him after we started going out. Plus it's hard for him 'cause all his uni and school friends are back in South America. And since he's about 6 years older than other people in his classes, it's hard for him to make new uni friends. Considering he's quite a social person, I know it's difficult for him not to have the opportunity to go out much with people other than myself.

And I don't know why but he has this idea that going out just with him is not enough for me and that I get bored. Not sure why he gets insecure like that because it's so obvious that I don't need anyone else because he's more fun than all my friends put together. I just feel guilty about not seeing the girls who I've been hanging out with since we were teenagers. Plus I feel it's not a good idea to alienate myself from my friends. I think he knows that but just feels sad that he doesn't have his friends. And I can't help but feel bad when he does. I want him to be happy.