Reminiscing About Non-Existing Love

I was reading "The Most Wanted" by Jacquelyn Mitchard about a 14 year old girl who falls in love with a 25 year old convict. I usually don't like romance novels because I don't want to know about people being in love when to me the concept is completely foreign and imaginary, but this book is different. There's something about it that I really like. Although this sounds melodramatic but it sort of fills the empty hole inside me.

I keep telling myself that I'm so over wanting a relationship but honestly I want it more than ever. I just don't understand how so many different types of people fall in love, get married, have children while I have never been on a date. I want to be in love. This obviously sounds corny but I just want to know what it feels like in reality.

Am I the only person who feels this way? Do people just go out with whoever?

I know people say that everyone finds someone when they're not looking but it's so hard not to look when it's the only thing that you really want.

When I was in my early teens and was only really friends with Nadine, all I wanted was to have more close friends. My wish seemed impossible because I just couldn't imagine how I could find people that are similar to myself or just people who I would be comfortable to be myself with. I got my wish. It happened so gradually though.

I tell myself that although my wish seemed impossible, it happened. So maybe my wish for RG will happen too? I don't see how, though, and that's what saddens me.

Tomorrow I have to be at uni early for ODV stuff. I don't feel like going. Oh well, maybe something interesting will happen. It probably won't but I'll just exaggerate anything remotely exciting and write the new and improved version in here, ok?
Just kidding.