Saturday Night Fever

I went to April's birthday party yesterday. It was all right. I didn't enjoy it too much, though. I don't know why. I haven't been enjoying the last few parties that I've been to. Everyone just eats and has boring small talks. I think April had a good time which was the most important thing. There were a couple of interesting people (April's uni friends). Amelia also made the whole thing more fun. I talked to Emma and Claudia quite a bit. I noticed that Emma has a really good fashion taste. She could've passed for a model or an actress in "The Joy Luck Club". I remember in year 8 she had crooked teeth and a pimply face and now she's beautiful. Her personality hasn't changed though which still makes her a great person (and friend).

Georgia (the bitch) was there. She's the only person that I really can't stand. Why? Because after I started hanging out with April, Amelia, Claudia and Christine, she started insulting me when she didn't even know me. So after I got sick of her rudeness, I confronted her about it.

I asked her why she hated me so much and if it was something I did, I was sorry. I thought I was being mature about the whole thing. So what does she do? She doesn't say what I did to make her angry but just tells me off like I killed somebody. I don't even want to repeat her obscenities. I even started crying. I just didn't understand how someone could hate me so much when I didn't do a thing to them.

Although I was really hurt at first, I got over it because instead of being angry at her, I started to have pity for her because she had a really bad family life, not many friends and most people at school didn't like her. She wasn't worth me feeling bad.

After that whenever I saw her, I looked straight in her face and smiled. She'd never even look at me. Since she wanted me to ignore her, I did the opposite because that was the only way I could think to hurt her. I felt so much superior than her and that felt really good. If anyone is in a similar situation, I recommend to do what I did because it works like magic.

At first I didn't tell my friends about it because they were friends with her but one time when they all got mad at her, I told them. That lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. They were all very sympathetic. Amelia said that Georgia did that to her too, but Amelia didn't confront her. Now they are friends again. I don't understand how anyone could be friends with that inhumane person.

What hurts me the most about the whole thing is that now my friends are nice to her, when they know that she's been horrible. That's the worst. When April and I were planning to have a combined party, she asked me if I mind if Georgia comes because it'd be rude not to invite her. Ha! How could she even say that?! What about Georgia being rude to me?! I started saying that we don't have to be nice to someone who is not nice to other people.

It annoys me so much when April tries to be an angel. "A friend to everyone is a friend to no one" is a very wise quote. I can't stand people that are always nice. Maybe it's because she's religious.That's what I don't like about April the most.

I wish Georgia's presence wouldn't affect me so much because that means she has power over me, but it does. I hope she doesn't see it. I wish she'd get a conscience so she can feel guilty about it for the rest of her life and try to become a nicer person or at least a reasonable one i.e. if she doesn't like someone it's ok but if that person wants to sort out their differences, she should be reasonable enough to do that. If I never see her again, it would still be too soon.

I left early which made me feel a bit empty because I wanted to stay with April, Christine and Claudia a bit more to see what they were going to do. But since I depend on my parents to pick me up from the station, I had to leave at about 10pm. I always want to stay in the City all night and go to different clubs but I can't. I should try to organise a sleepover so we could all stay up all night and go to someone's house after that in Christine's car.

I don't like catching the train at night. Not because it's dangerous (it isn't) but because that's when I really long for RG. I just wish that I had RG to lean on and go home with or just come home to. I swear that's never going to happen because I'll never meet him.

When we were all saying good-byes, I saw a group of guys and one looked like Max (a guy I talked online with for over 2 years). I can't believe I still think that I might see him accidentally. Must MUST stop doing that!

I'm not in the best mood at the moment because the 'not ever finding RG' feeling is very strong.