The Big Kids

Last night David and I went to his step-sister's house for a BBQ dinner.

When we got there, we saw that everyone was in their 30s so we didn't feel like we fit in with the crowd. We sort of stayed inside entertaining each other.

His step-sister, Rita, tried to get us to join in with the others but it was a bit hard 'cause the men were pretty loud and talked about their own thing.

As usual, we ended up playing with the kids. Rita called us "the big kids".

Apart from the two daughters, there was another girl who couldn't walk properly. She had a special frame to help her. David told me her mother was only a couple of years older than him and was single. Like the mother, the child was beautiful. I couldn't imagine having to deal with a disabled kid on my own. The woman was very quiet and looked tired.

What really touched my heart was that this girl didn't act like she was different at all. She was running around with her frame faster than all the other kids. At one point when Rita's girl finished bouncing on one of the cushiony kids' chairs, this other girl said to me, "Can you help me get to that chair because I can't walk". She said it so matter-of-factly, like it was nothing unusual and not something I would notice.

Sophie (Rita's 5 year old daughter) didn't treat the other girl any differently. That and lots of other things showed how mature she was for her age. When the adults talked about her when she was right there, I could see her watching them and listening to every word. I think parents forget that most five year olds are completely conscious of their surroundings and understand more that the adults think.

She showed me her room and 80% of her things were pink. I asked her, "Do you like pink?" and she replied, "No! I hate pink but my Mum buys it anyway". Reminded me when I was young and my Mum would buy me clothes I didn't like.

Rita, herself, is a housewife. I could tell she loved it. David always said to me how he didn't understand why she wouldn't go back to work, now that her kids are not babies. He thinks the kids will depend on her too much. I wouldn't do it but I could see how much she enjoyed the stay-at-home life. She told us about all the school committees she joined and how she designed their house. She also seemed to like hosting dinner parties.

When she found out I could play piano (thanks to David), she got excited that she found a piano teacher for her kids. I didn't say that I wouldn't do it because I'm so busy. Although I'd like to.

It was such a different experience to go to Rita's house. I felt like my Auntie when my Mum invited her for dinner. The age gap is large but didn't separate us.

Afterwards, we went to the movies with Ryan. Couldn't believe he got us chocolate. We didn't get him anything. It's amazing how when I'm there he's really sweet and friendly but I know (from what David tells me) how he's different when there are no girls.

He got a new girlfriend and it's funny that he doesn't know that David's personal advice to him about his relationship is actually mine. (David always asks me what he should tell Ryan about his problems.) It seems to work because he's happy.

David and I are still waiting to meet this girl.

On the way back we had an argument because I got really upset at something he said at the party. He said he was joking. I told him it wasn't funny in the slightest. He apologised and said he didn't mean to upset me. I knew it wasn't intentional but it still hurt. I said I forgave him but inside I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Got home and called him. I told him him I couldn't get what he said out of my head, even though I knew he didn't mean it. He apologised again and told me he wouldn't do it again and he felt horrible about it.

Don't know why but just telling him how badly I felt really helped and made me get over it.

Today as I was emailing the work that I've done to the company, David was online so we chatted for like two seconds before he called my phone.

He told me he talked to Miguel online (since he's living in South America now) and he said he was coming back before David got married. Apparently Miguel is planning on returning next year.

First of all, if David gets married, I don't want that guy at the wedding. I can't stand him. He would ruin the 'perfect' day. I don't know why David is so attached to him. He says it's because he helped him before. Personally, I don't think this 'help' was really important.

Then we started talking about how some people get into marriage without really knowing the other person. I don't remember how but we got talking about who would do what when we live together. I said I don't mind doing all the cooking if only I don't have to clean the toilet. He said he doesn't mind doing the cleaning. Couldn't believe how easy it was to convince him to clean the bathrooms, vacuum and mow the lawn (if we have a house).

After we hung up, I realised that if I do marry David, it really wouldn't matter if Miguel came to the wedding. It's such a small price to pay for getting something amazing.