No Guarantees

Why am I so tired? I feel like I can just fall asleep right now and not wake up until tomorrow. After my first job, I went to the second one where I tried working for an hour.

Man, I hate their place. It stinks (literally). The computer system is way too old. They have Macs with their stupid one click mouse which make me so frustrated. They don't have any high resolution product images which make it impossible to create large posters.

I'm dreading having to work there full-time. Although I guess it would be better than no job at all.

Did I mention I got a reply for my teaching application?

They said in order for me to enrol into Teaching, I have to do one subject in Languages/IT/Psychology. I was thinking of learning Spanish since that would be useful but most universities don't offer the beginner course in second semester. Might have to research more into it. Although, I don't have much time.

Do I even want to become a teacher? I wouldn't mind but I just don't want to put more money into education.

Where I'm working now, the woman who was previously in my position and is supposed to go back into it after my contract ends, said that she's looking for a different job so I might have a chance to stay there permanently.

I so don't want to get my hopes up but I absolutely love this job. Sure, I'm not designing magazines like in the last one but I do heaps of stuff here. Also, it's not too hard since they are very strict to sticking to their corporate identity. What I like is how all these people from different offices call me to design stuff for them and the way the big manager always asks me to do little things for her. I think I like working on lots of little projects, rather than one big one.

The people are really nice too. I had a pretty good conversation with the woman who had my position. She's got such a lovely personality - easy-going, friendly and young-spirited. It surprised me to learn that she went through a divorce.

When I mentioned my boyfriend, she asked if we were planning on getting married. I told her not yet. She said not to rush and that we have plenty of time for that. She said to enjoy other things first.

It's weird, everyone tells me not to commit too soon, except my Mum. I told her what this woman advised me and she said, "Lots of people think that way but I'm happy that we don't have a large age gap and I can still keep up with you. If I was 15 years older, that might be harder".

I don't know. I always thought that if you find someone you want to be with, there's no point in waiting. I guess I got that thinking process passed on from my Mum. Kids usually imitate parents, whether they want to or not. Isn't that true?

I see that my parents have a good relationship and that marrying young does not mean you will get divorced, and having kids early does not mean you can't have a successful career and travel.

April told me, "You just want what your parents have". David noticed that too. I guess it's pretty obvious. If you see a good result, you want to take the same steps to get there.

If I think logically, it's highly unlikely that I will find someone better than David. Yes, there are several things I wish he didn't have in his personality but who's perfect? Certainly not me.

Would I rather have someone more serious, less open, more principled and not as much fun? Maybe their sense of humour would match mine more or they would have a similar background to me. But will they have all the unique qualities that I love so much in David?

All I want is for a guy to love me so much he'd be willing to do anything. For someone like that, I would ignore every fault.