End of Procrastination

I'm not bad anymore. I managed to finish the work I was supposed to do on the weekend. Of course, I could've done it all yesterday and finished whatever I have left today, giving me a nice break till Wednesday. Oh well, at least I don't feel too guilty anymore.

Emptyness

I don't know if this happens because I put so much value into my time with David but every time he leaves or we hang up the phone, I just feel totally empty. Even if we spend heaps of time together and I want to do something by myself (eg. blog/read/do work), I still feel like something has been taken out inside me.

I don't think this is normal. But then again, when have I ever felt 'normal'?

We have this thing that we prank each other's phones after we get home to let the other person know we're ok. Today, when he called, he wouldn't hang up so I picked up the phone. He said he got home ok. I said great and we hung up. Then I felt weird. I wondered why he called. Did he want to talk to me? Did I just cut him off?

When I went online (while I was doing work), he came online straight away. It's weird chatting to him online because for that moment it doesn't feel like we are boyfriend and girlfriend. It feels like we are just friends. We chat about the every day things. He said he was finishing his essay but would call me afterwards.

As soon as he signed off, that empty feeling came on again. I really have no idea why. I mean I knew I would speak to him soon but I couldn't help feeling... empty.

He called me in about an hour. We had a really nice friendly conversation. I was doing work at the same time so talking to him made me less bored.

When we finished, I felt weird again. It's driving me crazy. Why do I get like this?! Is it some internal psychological emotional dependency/affection/addiction/connection problem or am I just so into him, I want to spend every second together?