Behind the Smile. Taking Charge of My Dreams

Behind the Smile

My Dad's cousin and her husband left today so it's back to just the four of us.

Last night I went to Claudia's friend birthday party. It was quite a family gathering. So many relatives! I loved the atmosphere! Her boyfriend came from overseas for it. They met online. Just throught I'd mention that. He told everyone he loved her, really emotionally during the speeches. The girl was already teary after her best friend's speech. Then her kid brother did the sweetest speech. It reminded me of when Andy was little and cute. Her Mum also mentioned that it was hers and her husband's 25th anniversary and someone asked jokingly, "Do you think you can make another 25?" and she said looking lovingly at her husband, "I wouldn't have it any other way". I had this wide cheesy grin on my face but inside I felt like crying.

Didn't really get to talk to the guys, except her cousin who was drunk and an idiot. He kept asking me the same questions over and over again. He was shocked I had a uni degree and wasn't 21 yet. April and Claudia found it really amusing. I was annoyed he wasn't sober and smart.

Today I went to help out at a festival. Kim turned out to be there! Shouldn't have been surprised since she loves doing stuff like that. Saw some celebrities there which only reminded me how much I want to work in the media/film/televsion industry. I'm always in my element when I have to organise and deal with people. I get all this energy that I never expect to have in me. One guy proposed to his girlfriend in front of everyone. I've never witnessed such things before. I couldn't stop smiling. Tried to block out the pain from surfacing.

Taking Charge of My Dreams

Since I don't have uni anymore, I'm going to devote my time to achieving my dreams. No more excuses or fear of failure. You only live once.

Dream 2: achieve an advanced/performance level of dance
Dream 3: find a job I'm passionate about

(Dream 1 was to go to USA and I've achieved that.)

These may seem a bit silly (especially the first one) but I know it's possible to become advanced in salsa in a few years. The other styles take longer and I have the disadvantage of not doing enough when I was little. The second dream seems impossible but I will do everything in my power for it to happen.

My Plan:
Dream 2: enrol in the beginner course (next week)
Dream 3: call up production/media companies and ask for graduate/entry-level jobs or work experience (since just answering job ads hasn't been very successful).

Main obstacle: loss of motivation
Must not give up!

I guess the reason I'm writing this here is so there's more pressure for me to follow through.