The Party. April Upsets.

The Party. April Upsets.

It amazes me sometimes how my Dad all of a sudden would notice something I'm wearing that I've worn tons of time before like it's the first time I was dressed like that.

Dad: you look pretty today! Going on a date?
(In my head: I wish.)
Dad (to Mum, yelling across the house allowing my Dad's cousin and her husband who are staying with us at the moment to hear very clearly): did you see what she's wearing?!

I was so embarrassed. You'd think I was wearing something slutty like... nothing. Don't even want to think what my Aunt and her husband thought I was wearing. I quiety sneaked out so I wouldn't have 2 extra pairs of eyes checking out my jeans and top. My Dad can be so embarrassing. It's not like I'm 13.

I came to the club (where the party was held) on time and was the first one there. (Last time I came on time, I was one of the last people). Some other girl who I didn't know came. I wanted to come up and start talking to her but I just couldn't make myself.

Soon afterwards, Sally came so that was cool. She reminds me of April in some ways but less conservative and shyer. It would be good if she made more effort to keep in touch. She said she wanted to but she was slipping into anti-sociableness even though she didn't want to. It's probably 'cause she's shy. Like, she didn't even want to ask a few people to move so she could get out to go to the bathroom - I asked for her which I think embarrassed her and I felt kinda bad about it afterwards.

After Sally, Sam came so the three of us talked for an hour before the host came. There weren't actually as many people from uni as I expected. There was a lot of dancing (even though the girls had to be dragged onto the dance floor) so I was happy.

I had to leave early 'cause I mixed up the train timetable and for some reason thought the last train was an hour before it actually was. Silly me. There was one ok guy at the party and if I had stayed for another hour, I could've actually got to talk to him.

Sam is having a party next week so I might go to that. Wish he had some nice guy friends to introduce me to but that's asking too much.

I was comforted by the fact that people who finished my degree are also having trouble finding work. So it's not just me.

Speaking of work, April really upset me on Friday. Ever since she got into Law, she's lost most of compassion for the difficulty in finding a career related job. She said that if I want to work so much, I should get a job in a shop or something.

Really wanted to remind her how when she was rejected from Law the first time, she couldn't even be bothered to look for any job, not like my every day routine of applying for any career-related job ad. I didn't get a uni degree to work in retail! (And, hey I did apply for temp work which she said wasn't really trying hard enough. That really made me mad.)

She always said that she wanted to be a lawyer so she could help people but this 'helping' seems so superficial now because if you really want to help people, why not start with people closest to you by being understanding, sincere and kind. And when she thought she wouldn't be a lawyer, I said that she could still help people by doing volunteer work or something but she said she didn't want to do that sort of helping. It's like the recognition for the 'helping' is what's important to her rather than the actual helping.

So yeah, I'm being bitchy. I prefer to call it venting.