Visions of the Future

I think I have a gift for predicting the future. Well, my future anyway. Especially immediate one.

For example, I did worry about the bus driver forgetting to tell me where to get off. Which was really pointless because of course he forgot to tell me. When I realised it was approximately time to get off and asked him, he was like, "That was the previous stop". Well, thanks for that! So I got off and wandered for about 30 minutes on a jagged rocky path along a semi-highway in heels. It was quite a memorable experience. My feet still have memories etched upon them. Lucky for my future predicting abilities, I caught an early bus, so I was only five minutes late.

Had to wait in the lobby for about ten minutes while the receptionist tried to reach my supervisor in between her phone conversation about where her life was going. As I gathered, not very far. I'm amazed how some people can have private conversations like that when there are strangers around.

When my supervisor finally came to collect me, she started apologising for where I was going to work. I had to remind myself that I used to work in a small room in a warehouse with ten other people so it couldn't be that bad. I was right. The only problem was that there was construction going on all around the room where I was supposed to be with two other people. I was so happy to see these two people were my age. The boring temp work that I had to do was broken up with gossip with the Law/Psychology student and another young woman who was studying Naturopathy for Animals. It was so good to have lunch with them since there was nowhere really to go.

It made a me feel 'a bit' better that there were smart people who were also doing work below their abilities. I didn't feel like such an idiot. My supervisor was a bit neurotic but sweet perfectionist lawyer who worked on patents and with different inventors. She was leaving to Europe to give some workshop and was stressing about not having enough time to colour code her papers. All of Friday she kept saying, "Everyone, don't stress, it'll be fine! Totally fine! Don't stress. It'll all be fine!"

The upside to temping is that I get to see some really interesting work environments.

After work on Thursday, I got off at the city and bought three pieces of clothing for $20! They had a clearance sale "Buy 1 for $15 or 3 for $20". So buying two things would've been more expensive than three. What an interesting business strategy. I love it when clothes are so cheap because you don't have to worry whether it's worth buying something that looks good but isn't too comfortable. I mean, each item came down to less than $7! Got jeans (that were originally $70), pants (orginially $60) and top (originally $20). I've never had such a bargain before!

Got home with a humongous headache so went to bed at 8pm. Woke up at 3am so hungry (not having dinner does that to you). Went back to sleep and had a nightmare about people from my primary school being buried and we had to dig them up (some alive) and David admitting he did drugs and didn't see anything wrong with it. I remember feeling such devastation and frustration and heavy weight sadness that I was too happy to wake up from that darkness.

Told David about it last night and he said, "Stop associating South Americans with drugs". I'm certain that's not what my dream meant. I'm sure it was just a reflection of how I'm scared of realsing we're not meant to be.

It's odd that when he's not with me, all I want is him. But when we're together I'm like, "Whatever. He's so wrong for me. I'll break up with him soon". Last night religion came between us, once again. He did something that made me so uncomfortable that I actually had to tell him because I cannot be with him if he keeps doing it. I tried to tell him not to do it without actually telling him to do what I say.

I was like, "I don't want you to change because of me. Change because you want to," only in a longer more roundabout way. Of course he started saying that he never forces me into changing and why can't I just accept him the way he is. Couldn't argue with that. Then, he actually reminded me himself of one thing I compromised on so he said he won't do it (what made me feel so weird) in front of me. Not totally what I wanted but better than nothing. He said he grew up with religion so it was very hard for him when I started challenging what he thought his whole life.

He said he knew religion was a big thing in our relationship so if it was getting too much for me, we should say good-bye. I told him the reason I was bringing it up was because I didn't want to break up. If I did, I wouldn't bother talking about it. He said he still thought that we can make a great couple.

After the chat we went to my house where we had dinner and chatted to my Mum. She couldn't help but say things I wish she didn't. When I told her later and she asked me what things, I couldn't remember so she said, "If you can't remember, it couldn't have been that embarrassing". She had a point there.

After Mum told me something, David said, "Listen to your Mum" which was so obvious he was trying to suck up to her. But it was kinda cute. Trying to get on my Mum's good side.

Afterwards, he had a long chat with my brother which was cool. It would be great for them to get on.

Then when we finally got left alone, I started wondering if friendship and lust can sustain a relationship. We make great friends because we always have fun together and can talk about pretty much anything. And there's plenty of chemistry. I know it sounds great in theory but it feels like something's missing. Something in between those two states. If we were just friends, religion wouldn't mean a thing because we'd have no right to tell the other person how to lead their lives. But since we're more than just friends, it's different.