Waking Up To Reality

Waking Up To Reality

I woke up today hoping yesterday was a dream.

Went to bed last night thinking how April will now always think that I'm not telling her everything that's in my life and she will therefore stop telling me everything that's in her life and we will never have this closeness that we share now (or had until yesterday). Then thought how Max and I will probably lose contact again soon and all of this would be for nothing. Woke up thinking those exact same things.

Actually, I can't stop thinking about it at all.

I guess it's selfish of me to want her to tell me everything while I'm allowed to keep secrets. But then, she didn't have any secrets like that. Maybe I wouldn't be as embarrassed about this secret if it wasn't so hypocritical of me.

Hopefully, I will stop thinking about all this soon and things could go back to the way they were. Except I don't think they can. 'Cause that openness that we shared is now gone. And it's all my fault so I should just stop feeling sorry for myself.