The Flow

You'd think I'd be over getting excited about talking to David but I'm not. Last night when he called and said, "Just really wanted to talk to you", my heart filled up with joy. When I said I was just thinking the same, I could hear him smiling through the phone receiver from the way he stretched out, "Aww, reeally?? Me toooo!!"

All my insecurities stemmed from feeling that no one (who wasn't obligated like my family) thought I was truly wonderful and special. Of course, my close friends made me feel good but it was never the same as how David makes me feel. I don't carry that heavy weight of feeling alone anymore. And that feels sooooo good.

April thinks my infatuation is turning into an obsession. As long as David doesn't think so. Ever since the time when he didn't think it was obvious I liked him, I now freely say how I feel about him and how happy he makes me. So there's definitely no more confusion. And hey, I wasn't the one who called less than a day after seeing him, so it's not one way. Unless it's a two way obsession. And that could be called passion, right?

I wonder if it's possible for the first relationship to be the one you're meant to be in all your life... Or is he going to end up a story I tell my kids about my first boyfriend who taught my heart to salsa? (I'm trying not to make my blog sound like some tacky 80s romance book but my head right now is filled with feelings that are not suited to cynicism which I know my blog used to have plenty of.)

My view of the world has smoother edges now. The empty holes have been filled with soft and fluffy cushions and sparks of light and fiery warmth. Sunset's glowing colours. The waves of the deep blue ocean. Exotic rhythms. Flowing movements. I never want to leave this place.