Hoping and Pretending

Yesterday at work, the manager told me that he spoke to the woman in charge of the company's magazine and unfortunately they hired someone a few weeks ago and therefore don't need anyone at the moment. I thanked him profusely for taking the time to find out for me.

Then while I was chatting with my supervisor and another lady, the other lady let me know that her son was looking for a web designer to design a website for his company. I gave her my number so he can contact me. I got so excited when she asked me for a 'quote' since I've never done freelancing before, only the free work experience. Did some research on the net and found out just how much web designers charge. Got a little excited because I'd be happy to charge even a quarter of what professionals do.

After work I went to David's house. I think it's becoming quite a tradition for us to meet in the city after work/uni on Fridays, then catch the train to his house, stay there and then drive to my house. Actually what am I talking about, this only happened twice.

After we got to his house, we had to go and pick up his Mum from the station. Had a nice chat with her. His Mum is so great. She's so warm and it's very easy to talk to her. Afterwards, we had to drive his sister to work. Had the first (relatively) proper conversation with her. Although last time she was very friendly with me, this time she was kind of cool. Not sure if she just wasn't having a good day or if she was getting worried I was becoming a long-term fixture in their family.

Back at his house, we had dinner with his Mum. I loved it when she and I were on the same side of the argument with him and were exchanging the "oh, he's so wrong" looks. Even though David was outnumbered, I think he was secretly pleased I got along with his Mum because he wasn't being his argumentative self (when he tries to make his point clear), but was kinda soft and smiling, even though we weren't agreeing with him.

After dinner when we were being silly, he accidentally said he 'loooved' me, the way I would say I looove chocolate or Maroon 5. When he realised he said it, he was like, "I like you a lot" as if to overwrite his previous phrase. I pretended not to notice because I knew he didn't mean it in the proper 'love' way. But inside, I was secretly overjoyed he liked me enough for it to come out that way.

Later, as we drove to my house, I kept going on and on about my relatives and how it wasn't considered cheating when young people went out with different people at the same time in order to find 'the one'. He started looking worried so I had to reassure him that I was not capable of seeing other people now because I was too focused on him. I was just telling him because I'd feel comfortable discussing such things with my friends and I wanted us to talk to each other as friends, first of all. Close friendship makes the relationship SO much better. Not to mention fun.

When I told him that back in POB a relationship is not really considered serious until you've decided you wanted to marry that person, he said, "Well, I'm not talking about getting married, I don't know about that yet, but I don't think about breaking up". And that kinda hit me that the only reason I would meet someone else while going out with him would be if I was sure we'd be breaking up in the future because that was how I used to view our relationship. I was sure that breaking up was inevitable because we weren't right for each other and I didn't want to marry him. But now I don't know, which is why I can't allow my Mum to set me up with that guy she wanted me to meet. I don't see this relationship with a definite end anymore.

When he went to pay after filling up the car (with VERY expensive petrol), I played a little game where I pretended we were married. I was just watching him walk in to pay and say something to the guy behind the counter, while giving me a quick glance through the window (which I pretended not to see) and I imagined doing this (being at the petrol station, not playing this game) many times in the future as husband and wife. His walk was kinda weird and he looked so ordinary and homey in his old jeans and a hoodie top. There was none of that "I'm a sexy latino dancer" air about him. Yet I could see it happening so vividly. Pretending this scenario filled me up with warm glow from the inside.

We got to my house and were surprised to see Olivia (my uncle's wife) talking in the kitchen to my parents. My Mum was quick to introduce her to David. She had the same look my uni friends had when they first met him. The look that says, "I can't believe Sky has a guy!" Of course now that Olivia knows, every other member of my family will know. I don't really care. It was actually good that she found out accidentally. When later I asked Mum if she said anything, Mum said she didn't except note that he was "a cute boy". I don't know why but that made me smile.

When we were sitting in the lounge room, we heard some weird noise coming from the garage. David offered to go and have a look. I followed him to discover it was only my brother who was trying to get the surfing board (he got from a guy who was going overseas) out of the car and hence making the weird noise. Rather than going back to the house (since I wasn't planning on talking to Andy because he still didn't seem to be even slightly remorseful), David started to talk to him, forcing me to join in the conversation so at one point I had to respond to what Andy said. Even though I wasn't too happy with Andy, it was really sweet of David to encourage us talk to speak to each other again.

When David was leaving and was saying good-bye to my parents, my Mum started talking to him and held him back for about 30 (if not more) minutes. I was trying to signal to her to stop so he could go home because it was getting so late and I knew he was really tired. But of course she ignored my hints because she was enjoying talking to him so much. When he left, she said that she's been waiting a while to have a normal conversation with him. He was so good though. Charming as always. Although he did say a few things that didn't really impress my Dad. Oh well.

Won't be seeing him tonight 'cause I convinced him that he needs to study, so he won't have to stay up at night. He seriously needs sleep, something he doesn't find very important.

Tonight I'm meeting up with Claudia and Christine, both of whom I haven't seen in God knows how long. April won't be coming because she's 'sick'. Ever since Tuesday when she said she was starting to feel sick, I knew she wouldn't be coming. I should be more compassionate and feel bad that she's sick but I really can't because that happens way too many times. And I hate to admit but I always have more fun when she's there so I'm not feeling very sensitive about her sickness due to selfish reasons. I really should stop taking her sicknesses personally.