Friday, December 31, 2004

The Last Rant of 2004

Well, looks like I'm going to the city with Amelia and Kim (a girl from school that Amelia still hangs out with). I guess three is better than two. I'm really looking forward to being squashed by a lot of tall people, having to avoid beer bottles (and drunk people) on the ground and not being able to get home because of the crowds all stampeding to the same train station. It's going to be great!

The last time I went to the city for New Year's Eve was 2 years ago with 'the group' from school. I've decided to call the other people I used to hang out with at school 'The Group' because that's what we basically were. The Group included Kelly, Amy, Allison, Jacqui, Shannon, Kate (at one point) and Silvia (also at one point) and some others who I've never mentioned in the blog and don't plan to. I remember it was fun but it put me off going to the city on New Year's Eve until now.

It's not so much that I want to go to the city as much as I don't want to stay at someone's house and be bored together. (Not that being bored together is bad but for once I'd like not to do that on New Year's Eve.)

I saw Garden State with Amelia yesterday and that was great. I loved Zach Braff's character (minus the voluntary drug taking). I think I liked him 'cause he liked Sam (Natalie Portman) who I could really relate to (minus her beauty). Although, I'm over my compulsive lying habit. Well, not really.

I was reading the message boards for the movie on IMDB and as usual there's a bunch of people who criticised it because it doesn't have some world-changing message. Why can't people just enjoy a movie without anaylsing it to death?

I loved the line "When I'm with you I feel safe... like I'm home". I have a strong urge to edit it to make it "With you, I'm home" because I would love for a guy to feel that way about me and for me to find a guy to feel the same way about. Sigh.

Well, Happy New Year!

"May the best of your past be the worst of your future!"

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Homebodies

I saw Sophia and Lilly yesterday. We saw "The Incredibles". I absolutely loved the Edna character. She was worth the price of the ticket. Hilarious. It was like a gay man stuck in an old woman's body. It makes me smile just remembering her lines.

Seeing my uni friends was pretty good too. It would've been nice to do something with them tomorrow night but they're even worse than my school friends in the 'going out' department.

I'm getting annoyed just thinking about it again. I need more friends who like to go out. I loved how on my trip, there was always Tim to do stuff with. So when Lauren (who's not a fan of doing anything after dinner, other than going to see bands) didn't want to go out, I knew I could count on Tim to come.

I need someone who would always come with me anywhere. I need a boyfriend.

I'm really looking forward to finding a full-time job now because that means I would meet new people and I really need that now.

Maybe if Claudia was here, she would come with me and Amelia tomorrow. There's still hope that Christine and Evan would come but I doubt it. They like to do couply things on days like tomorrow.

April Ruins New Year's Eve Plans

I’m SO annoyed with April. I’m sick of her getting sick every time we plan on doing something fun. She’s sick ALL the time. And she’ll make a big deal even if it’s just a little cold.

Earlier this week, she invited Amelia and me to her place tomorrow night (New Year’s Eve) but when Amelia and I met up today, we decided that we both wanted to go out, rather than stay in, like the last few years and asked if April wanted to come. Of course she didn’t, which was expected. When does she ever like to go out? So Amelia and I decided to go to her house first (because it would be mean to cancel on her) and then go to the city afterwards. So no one gets left out. Everyone’s happy.

Then April has to go and ruin everything. Personally, I think she’s upset at us for wanting to go out because she probably didn’t realise that we were going to go to her house first anyway. Or she’s just being her lazy self and ‘doesn’t feel’ like doing anything. That’s the trait in April that I hate the most.

I know I’m being bitchy but I need an outlet for how annoyed I feel right now. And anyone who’s read my blog for a while, should know that this is not the first time April cancels on something I looked forward to.

It’s times like these I want to tell her that no wonder nothing exciting happens in her life. She doesn’t do anything or go anywhere that would let her experience something different. And this coming from the person who’s not the most ‘going out’ type in the world. Why is it that most people I make friends with prefer to stay home all the time?

I wish Tim was here ‘cause he would go anywhere with me. Thank God, for Amelia. She can work all day and still want to go out at night.

I thought that this New Year’s Eve, I would actually have a nice fun plan which does not involve staying at someone’s house and doing nothing but now, I don’t even know if I’ll end up home alone.

Day 8

Day 8: Eternal Beauty, Friendly American and Being Healthy

The alarm rang at 6:30am but I ignored it. Got up at 7 (20 minutes before sunrise). By the time we got ready, the sun has risen so we went to find an overlook site for the Grand Canyon.

When we got out of our hotel, everything was in crispy white snow. And very freezing.

As soon as I got a glimpse of the canyon, I was in awe. No photo can describe it because its main magnificence is in it humongous size. It really is breath-taking how huge it is (even if I knew that from pictures). Its first layer of stones was there over a billion years ago.

Its natural beauty really makes you reflect how short our lives are. It's overwhelming. I think it's very close to the feeling the guy from "The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" got when he was put in a room that showed how insignificantly small he was to the entire universe. The Grand Canyon manages to show you how eternal and almost immortal nature is.

10:06pm

After our numerous walks (or more like bus rides) along the Grand Canyon rim, I decided to burn some of my digital photos onto a CD.

I found one of those do-it-yourself machines in some store. When I finished selecting all the photos I wanted to burn and got to the final step, it told me that I could only pay with a credit card (something that I don't have). I asked the man who worked there if it was possible to pay in cash. He said no but offered to let me use his credit card!

He said he wasn't supposed to do that but he would this time because he knew how expensive memory cards were and he had to make sure his manager wasn't watching.

I thought that was quite nice of him. I wondered if I had to tip him so I rounded up my amount (in cash) but he gave me back my change.

I thanked him a few times (because if I couldn't burn the photos, I wouldn't be able to take more photos). He wished me a great day.

I wondered what made him let me use his credit card... Boredom at work? Hating his job/manager and wanting to rebel? Nah, must've been my girlish charm.

After dinner, used expensive internet to check email and write an email telling my Mum to call me (since I couldn't call her). I had 10 minutes to do all this but it felt like 2. Didn't have any time to read most of my emails or write something to my friends, especially April. Or my brother.

At exactly 9pm, Mum called. I was so happy to talk to her! Even though I'm having a great time, I miss talking to people who I talk with daily.

Lauren has been great at substituting all my favourite people. Although, her eating and hygienic habits are quite worrying. No wonder she gets tired all the time. And I'm not the fittest person. Maybe it's my urticaria that's making me notice how nutritiously people eat. For example, she hasn't eaten any protein or fibre at all! Or any vitamins. I sound like such a health freak when I complain how there's only junk food available. And I suppose I have become a bit of a health nut. But urticaria forced me. If I don't have enough good stuff inside me, I get itchy and red. Not a good feeling. I, now, associate all unhealthy stuff with being sick, no matter how tasty the food is, and I get put off it. Although I still love chocolate.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Marrying Mark

I forgot to mention that April and I watched I Heart Huckabees and Mark Wahlberg is so sexy. I don't know what it is about him because he's not typically cute. He has a very ordinary face but he has something special...

Mark (puts his big hands on my shoulders, urgently): Sky, I can't stop thinking about you!
me (look up to his relatively cute eyes): You know, there are other things to life than thinking about how in love you're with me.
Mark: But Sky! Life is meaningless without you in it.
me: Yeah... I see what you mean...
Mark: I can't spend another moment of my life without having my arms around you.
me: well, if you must...
Mark (takes my hands): will you marry me?
me: I guess I could...
Mark (jumps up and down with excitement): So that's a yes?!
me: on one condition
Mark: anything!
me: you will not be as corny as you are in my distorted imagination.

Reflecting on 2004

I saw the following questionnaire at a few blogs so I decided to do it too.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Gone on a date and visited America.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any and I won't be making any for next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My Aunt

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank God.

5. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Boyfriend.

6. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The date I left for America.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Organising my trip to America.

8. What was your biggest failure?
Getting a boyfriend.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Urticaria

10. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My Dad - he was super cool this year.

11. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Andy's, when he had his grumpy period because it was so unlike him.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Trip to America.

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Other than my trip to America, I was VERY excited about what the date could've lead to.

14. What song will always remind you of 2004?
"This Love" by Maroon 5

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier and sadder
b) thinner or fatter? about the same
c) richer or poorer? Even though I had more money last year, I didn't actually spend it because I was saving it so it's like I didn't actually have it.

16.What do you wish you'd done more of?
Go out (especially dancing).

17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Obsess less over finding a boyfriend.

18. How will you be spending Christmas?
I've spent it with Nadine.

19. Did you fall in love in 2004?
I wish.

20. What was your favorite TV program?
Gilmore Girls

21. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No

22. What was the best book you read?
I've had a few (how could I not):
- The Earth, My Butt and other Big Round Things (Carolyn Mackler)
- Standing in the Rainbow (Fannie Flagg)
- The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time (Mark Haddon)

23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Kara's Flowers

24. What did you want and get?
I wanted to pass all my subjects so I could graduate and I have.

25. What did you want and not get?
A boyfriend.

26. What was your favourite film of this year?
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 20 and for the life of me I cannot remember what I did. I might've been at uni on that day but I don't even know that for sure.

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A boyfriend.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Funky but elegant. (Always wanted to use adjectives like that to describe fashion styles.)

30. What kept you sane?
Any sanity that I still have left is because of April - without talking to her, I would've gone insane with my anxiety about not having a boyfriend.

31. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage and abortion.

32. Who did you miss?
Andy when he was in his grumpy period.

33. Who was the best new person you met?
Tim.

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
When something seems totally impossible, it can surprise you. And then disappoint anyway. (Re: Andrew and bus guy and Tim incidents)

Also, friends with whom you can laugh about things that sadden and worry you, are friends you should cherish.

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"That's Not Enough" by Maroon 5 is the only one I can think of at the moment.

That's not enough.
I want more.
I want it all.
I want to bang on your front door.
Turn off the lights
And shut out the world.
Cause at the end of the day
Aren't we all just boys and girls?

If I had to sum up my year I would say it went like this:

My life is over.
[Meet guy] Maybe not!
[Never see guy again.] My life is over.
[Go on date] My life is finally changing!
[Date never calls] My life is over.
While my life is over, I go to America to distract myself from my life's end.
[Meet guy] Yay! A guy likes me!
[No future with guy] What was the point? My life is over.

I think we can deduct from that - my year was a rollercoaster with always ending on the bottom but I had some fun along the way.

By the way, I realised that since I'm not a uni student anymore, I should change my blog's tagline.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Boxing Day

I spent most of today with April. I missed her so much! My throat got sore after telling her all my stories. It was great to be able to share all the little things (that other people are not interested) in with her. I was just so happy to talk with her after a month of not being able to tell her anything properly.

After all my stories, she told me how she and Christine and Claudia were talking about taking a trip to Europe together and how she thought we'd all kill each other if we did that. I know for sure that I would never be able to live with Christine. She's too difficult. Claudia would be ok and it'd be fun to travel with April. But it's all just talk with them.

I was pretty lucky to find Lauren to travel with 'cause she's so easy-going and would do everything I wanted. I wonder if she'd want to go to Europe with me. Maybe I annoyed her in ways I don't even realise. I know, I'd love to travel with her again.

After I got home today, my relatives came over. Allie seems to be growing up so fast. She's adorably cute and sweet. Jenna is growing up too. It makes me feel so old to have all these new kids in my family. Especially now that there's a new addition - Jenna's baby brother.

But it was cool to see everyone again.

Christmas Time

Happy Boxing Day! Christmas always goes by so fast!

My Christmas started out pretty quiet. My parents, my grandma and brother went to a BBQ with my relatives (the usual bunch). I didn't go 'cause it would've been boring and I see these people all the time anyway. My Dad had to be dragged to it by my Mum 'cause he didn't want to go either but he's obligated to go. Andy went 'cause he didn't want to stay home. I would've went if my cousins were there but they're in POB. Even though I haven't seen them for AGES, yesterday (and ever since my grandma came over and started telling us funny stories of our childhood), I've realised how much I missed them.

Everyone got back at around three because we were supposed to go to Nadine's house. But since my parents got invited to Talia's parents' house, they dropped me (and grandma) at Nadine's house.

I had a great time telling her all my stories from my trip, without the details because those are reserved for April (who I'm seeing today). I don't think I've ever spent Christmas with her so it was really nice. And since my grandma was there (because she knows her Mum - they're about the same age), it felt just like it was when we were kids. Especially when Nadine's Mum was asking us to try some disgusting looking thing that she made and even though I cut a small piece, one bite was more than enough. Nadine swallowed her tiny bit so I asked her if she wanted to finish mine and she agreed.

But rather than taking it from my plate when her Mum went into the kitchen to get something, she took a tissue (in front of her Dad who was talking to my grandma) and while he was deep in conversation (even though my grandma was looking at us), she took my piece with the tissue and went to throw it out the window. My grandma had her eyes wide open as she was watching our 'discreet' procedure and I had to control my giggles. Her Dad didn't even notice.

Later my grandma said that she wished we didn't leave after we finished eating because she couldn't hide her piece that she couldn't eat and she couldn't copy Nadine's smooth method of disposal.

Even though Nadine and I are adults now, we felt like such kids with the 'real' grown-ups there. She got a call from one of her friends (who she used to complain about in high school) who's getting married now! It's so weird to have people we grew up with getting married! I've never actually met the bride but I've heard so much about her from Nadine that I feel like I know her.

In the morning when everyone went to the BBQ, I opened an envelope which had the predictions that I wrote before I started uni to be opened when I finish my degree (which by the way I have with all right marks). It was so depressing to read because I was so horribly wrong.

When I was 17 and just finished high school, I predicted that by the time I finish uni, I would be in a serious relationship or would've had one. And lots of other completely inaccurate things. The only things that came true was the I would never get drunk, do drugs or smoke. I can always count on that! I wrote new predictions to be read when I'm 25. I made them pretty bad so if my life sucks then, at least I would be correct.

Anyway, I better go and get ready to go and meet April. Can't wait to talk to her! (I'm sure she'll laugh at my inaccuracies of trying to predict my future.)

Friday, December 24, 2004

Strong Words

One thing that really gets to me is when people say that they don't 'hate' anyone because 'hate' is such a strong word but yet they put the word 'f***' into every second sentence. How is that word any less stronger than the first one?

(Don't forget you can always say 'despise' because that is definitely stronger than 'hate'.) And people say 'I love chocolate' but that doesn't mean that they love it in the same way that they love someone dear to them (like their family). So the same goes for 'hate' - it depends on the context in which you say it.

Day 5 - Day 7

Day 5: Other Travellers

Stood in line for the continental breakfast behind Rob who was hung-over. Got pancakes, toast, apple and cranberry juice. Rob sat next to us so we talked a bit. I asked where he got the jam for the toast. Then some girl put her plate down opposite Rob and he suggested for me to take her jam (when she went to get something). I said, "You like taking other people's food, dont you" and he said, "Yeah, I have a thing for stealing others' food".

While we were waiting to get on the bus, some guy came to talk to us. I was happy to hear that he wasn't into drinking. But he swore a lot.

We had an excursion of the harbour. Can't say I really liked it. The scenery was nothing special but I took lots of photos anyway.

At dinner, Lauren and I had to sit with James and Megan (the young couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other) so all through dinner Lauren and I had to watch them cuddle, kiss and tease each other. It was revolting. Why can't people in love realise that other people don't want to see them show-off their happiness.

Day 6: Yay! Creep Gives Me His Phone Number

Today was spent mostly on the bus. We drove out of San Diego and through south-west country which was exactly how I expected it to be - long-winding highway through the sandy landscape of the desert with tall and thick cacti that you see in Western films.

We had to introduce ourselves. I hated doing it 'cause it reminded me of school/uni and I was worried about public speaking (especially about myself) but surprisingly I sounded all right. I can't believe we had to say our social status. I was so embarrassed to admit that I was single that I was contemplating on saying that I had a boyfriend. But then I thought that I'd just be shooting myself in the foot and none of the single guys would talk to me. I tried to remember what all the guys said but I forgot some of them anyway.

During our first rest stop, Ian (the guy who came up to talk to us earlier) came up again. He asked what the name of the town was. He then went on saying how he doesn't like roller-coasters but he promised his friend he would go because he didn't want to seem like a wimp. (He's 24, by the way.) And now he's thinking of telling the friend he can't go anymore. I told him that's not fair to the other guy. If he didn't want to go, he should've told him straight up and not cancel at the last minute (because I hate when people do that) and he said I'm right and he won't cancel 'cause that would be mean. (He used different words though which I don't really want to write.) He wasn't single.

Back on the bus, we were encouraged to swap seats and meet people we haven't talked with before. During this, I met Keith, a 30-something from New Orleans (who told everyone in his introduction that he was caught by police having sex with 2 women in some New Orleans park).

When I mentioned that we were going to New Orleans, he gave me some suggestions where I should go. When we moved seats again and he sat behind me, he passed me a piece of paper. On it was his number. He said I should call him when in New Orleans. All I could think was that a guy gave me his number! Who cares how old he was or that he's a sleazy creep!

On our second rest stop, saw Ian walk past and he smiled unlike other people (i.e. Rob) who walked by without a glance.

Arrived in Arizona to a much better hotel room that actually has a fridge and a microwave.

Have to wake up early tomorrow to go on a hot air balloon ride so have to go for now.

Oh! I saw 7th Heaven wedding and felt like crying. Lucy was getting married before finishing college and was getting worried about getting married young and her older brother, Matt, said how lucky she was to find someone she loves and who loves her back and it was ok that she didn't reach all her goals yet because she could always reach them in the future. The only difference is that she'll have someone's hand to hold while she goes after what she wants. I wanted to throw things at the TV.

Day 7: A New Experience

Woke up bright and early today for the hot air balloon excursion. Had a yummy toasted raisin bagel for breakfast and took some other food with me.

The hot air balloon ride was an experience like no other. Being squashed in a little basket with 12 other people (all with cameras in hand ready to snap away) while being blown under a large colourful balloon over the morning mist of the Sonoran desert is going to be added to another life experience that will always be remembered and will hopefully make me a better rounded person. If only it would get me RG. Oops, sorry, I'm still trying to break my habit of comparing all great experiences to how great it would be to have RG, but nothing ever matches up which diminishes the value of those wonderful experiences.

There were lots of spaced out shrubs below me with a few large cacti thrown in. We were told that a cactus only grows another arm after 75 years which made some cacti (according to my calculations) almost a 1000 years old!

There were also wild cows wandering slowly through the desert in small groups. Also saw a couple of hares running along the coppery cold paths.

The sun was peaking from behind the mountains, making shadows of everything across the ground.

The scenery was not the only thing that made the experience. The sounds created another dimension. The soft swooshing of the wind, the regular pumping of gas into the balloons - all created the originality of the experience.

After the ride, we got back on the bus to find our usual seats taken by other people. I walked along the bus, looking for two empty seats for Lauren and me but I realised there were only single empty seats. I saw one next to Ian and was happy to sit next to him for a few hours but another girl was standing next to the seat so I moved on to another one. I saw an empty one next to an occupant who was with the others outside. I hoped that person was someone nice.

I was happy to find it was taken by Tim (the guy I noticed the first day of the tour). We had a pretty interesting conversation about his future medical career (he told me, more than I wanted to know, horror stories from his work experience at a hospital), about his sister (who turned out to be the girl who I thought was his girlfriend) and some other stuff. He turned out to be a few months younger than me. (I asked using my sneaky ways.)

Had a rest stop in a beautiful area. There were too many angles from which I could've made hundreds of gorgeous photos but I tried to restrain myself. I had to accept that photos can't capture the hundreds of images that surround you from every direction to create that beautiful piece of the world.

When we got back on the bus, Ian was sitting in front of me. He's such an energy ball. I found it entertaining just to watch him talk. He's always so into what he's talking. (He does some job that I don't think requires a tertiary education but I can't remember what it is. Something electrical I think.)

I was quite pleased to be talking with two guys for the trip.

At the next stop, I was looking through some souvenir shop when Keith came up to me and said how beautiful some pots were and that he hadn't seen them anywhere else. I said I saw them in the previous town (even though I don't think I have) and moved further from him. Felt like telling him, "Don't try and talk to me. I still won't sleep with you in a park when I'm in New Orleans". Don't really want anything to do with a 30-something year old who slept with two women at once in a public place. It's too sleazy.

Since we were getting so close to the Grand Canyon, the temperature has dropped dramatically.

When Lauren and I were crossing the road, I could hear whistling in my ears. My face started tingling. Once we were on the bus, I wished I could cuddle up to a sweet and warm guy. Tim would've been fine since he's so much bigger than me and I feel tiny next to him. If my boyfriend was a big (and I don't necessarily mean fat) guy (just broad and tall), I would never worry about my weight.

When we got to the hotel, I wanted to call my Mum but the phone wouldn't work and it was too cold and dark to find another one. Had a bit of a pang of home-sickness or more like "I miss my Mummy" syndrome.

Day 2 - Day 4

Day 2: Disneyland
7:20pm

Lauren is watching cable but there's nothing great on. We had pizza for dinner. I gave up trying to find something nutritious.

For our free continental breakfast, we had pastries, muffins, bread and jam. I ate all of it just to have enough energy till lunch. I regret not taking some back with me for lunch because we couldn't find anything healthy and affordable in the park. Ended up buying fried chicken pieces with chips.

Thank God, I still have an apple from yesterday.

Disneyland really is a 'happy place'. I felt like I was in a Disney land. Wait a second, I was. The rides were not physically exciting but the sets and props were so imaginative, stunning and creative that it really did take you to the world that's in a child's mind.

I went crazy with my camera again. We went on almost all the rides that we wanted to.

Today, I noticed a lot of absolutely gorgeous kids and absolutely overweight adults. I also saw some stereotypical Californian girls - blonde, tanned and beautiful. I'm still getting used to everyone having an American accent.

I feel like I flew forward in time. The TV shows are ahead and so are the trends.

Day 3: Magic
6:16pm

We saw Disneyland fireworks last night. I was mesmorised. The bursts of bright colours above the castle (which changed from shades of deep green all the way to rich reds) looked like a magical garden in the sky.

The background music (coming from the speakers) was suitable enough to evoke emotions of love which stirred me in the wrong way. Having RG next to me was the only thing missing to make the moment perfect. Seeing lots of young couples in love didn't make it easier. Told myself to stop ruining the moment with my habitual thoughts but didn't work.

Day 4: Start of the Tour
10:17pm

We missed the tour pre-departure meeting yesterday. This area has the illogical system of having house numbers increase both ways. We ended up walking 30 minutes the wrong way and 30 minutes back. Then another 40 minutes in the right direction. Lauren was barely walking and my feet were getting sore too. After we walked across a highway with no crossing, we decided to just catch a taxi the next day (i.e. today) which was exactly what we did. We decided to get up extra early but slept through the alarm. We were woken up 15 minutes before the taxi was supposed to arrive by the receptionist calling to tell us our taxi was already here. I only had enough time to get dressed and stuff my suitcase. We got there 40 minutes early (as planned because there was no way we were going to miss the tour). I stupidly tipped the driver extra.

We met up with our tour but it seemed that people have already met at yesterday's meeting so I felt a bit left out. Some guy who kept looking in our direction didn't seem to know the others either but then some girl came up to him and they seemed to know each other. Probably his girlfriend.

As we were driving, the landscape was beautiful - large green hills framing highways. There was a group of joggers running though a distinct downhill valley. Wish I had my camera to capture it.

Our driver was flirting with other drivers which was funny.

When we got to San Diego, I was struck by the water that looked like blue satin. There was the city skyline at the horizon that looked like it was behind a white screen (possibly because of light fog).

Once we passed the bay with countless white boats, we drove into the city streets which weren't anything special. There was a lot of construction going on.

We stopped at some park that had white Spanish architecture. Bought some tasty and nutritious cookie.

After that, we visited the zoo. I saw giant pandas. Apparently they have similar lifestyles to koalas - eat (bamboos) and sleep. They wake up when they're hungry and they go to sleep after eating. They were gorgeous.

I also loved the white polar bear. It was so entertaining to watch it try to scratch itself. Its dirty white fur kept swishing as it rolled and twisted on the ground, its paws in the air.

Also saw some animals that I didn't know existed. Lauren didn't seem to be interested at all and seemed to only be focusing on walking. She said her feet and legs were in pain so we had to take a break every few moments.

Really wanted to get some sort of souvenir (preferably with a panda) but I just couldn't spend money on useless things.

After we checked into our hotel, we went to Walgreens and it took forever to choose the healthiest options. I bought turkey slices but when I got back to the hotel, I realised that we didn't have a fridge to put it in.

During dinner, I sat next to some graduate student/bartender and his 6 friends. They started talking to us. If only they were my type (i.e. didn't stub cigarettes into the grass, did not wear condoms on their heads, did not get drunk and did not swear constantly).

When there was a mix-up with food, Rob (the guy next to me) took food from my plate. Later he apologised, saying he thought the plate in front of me was for someone else. The only thing I had in common with him was that he was also health-conscious.

The guys had a long conversation about alcohol and Lauren and Rob talked about bands I've never heard of.

Back at the hotel, I had a nice hot shower after I figured out how to use the tap system. Then, we figured out how to use the alarm clock.

By the way, the toilets here are horrible. They are always filled with water almost to the top so all the 'stuff' floats in it until you're finished. It's so gross.

My Grandma Gets More Guys Than Me

My grandma got picked up by some guy yesterday. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. She went to the beach and some guy kept talking to her but since she can't understand English, she nodded, smiled and swam the other way but he kept coming up and talking to her.

"What does 'I love you' mean?" my grandma asked me.

"What?! Is that what the man said?"

"He came up to me and said 'I love you'."

"Maybe he said 'How are you'?"

"Oh yes! That's what he said!"

Thursday, December 23, 2004

The Start of the Story

Ok, I've decided to copy some of my notebook entries from the trip into here because I can't be bothered right now to do another blog just about the trip. (All of this will be written in smaller font.)

Day 1: Getting There
11:35am

It still feels a bit unreal to be flying to USA. I've been waiting too long for this.

We should be in Auckland soon. I tried to sleep a bit but it's too hard because I can't lean my seat back. There's some little kid behind me but fortunately he stopped poking the back of my seat.

They served breakfast of corn and ham fritters that tasted better than expected, some fruit (melon and rockmelon) and a muffin (that was quite unhealthy but tasted good). I'm just hoping my urticaria won't get out of control.

At the airport, I already got carried away with my camera and took many unnecessary photos that I'm sure I'd have to delete when I run out of memory.

There are no 'potential guys' on the plane that I can see. There goes my dream of meeting a guy on a plane and having a great story to tell the grandkids.

There are some guys my age but there's no chance to get to know them. Not surprised.

8:20am (California time)

I just noticed that a woman across from me is reading "The Sex Lives of Cannibals" and she's not embarrassed about it (since it's openly, almost purposefully, lying on her fold-out table.

I still have a bit of a headache (probably caused by lack of sleep).

8:27am

The plane smells of stinky people, some plane food and the stale cabin air.

Outside below me are beautiful fluffy clouds that look like soft marshmallows closer up (on take-off and dissesnt). I wish I could take a photo of them but no electronic equipment is allowed then.

8:38pm

I'm now at our hotel room, awake from my nap.

The first thing I noticed as our plane was descenting (other than the ball of excitement filling up inside me at rapid speeds) was how structured the layout of California was. It looked like someone measured the whole land with a ruler. Even the line between the sand of the beaches and the road running along them seemed to be too accurately parallel.

It took us forever to get our luggage once we got off the plane. It was a bit nerve-wrecking to see the bag carousel go round and round and my bag not in sight. I thought that I might not see my suitcase again. Fortunately I did. I might've smiled when I saw it. Felt a nice sense of relief.

We caught a shuttle bus to our hotel. That's when I had my first experience of not understanding the American accent. The bus driver asked, "Where to?" but all I could hear was, "One two?" After I made a few guesses as to what he meant ("There are two of us", "We have two suitcases", "We're going one-way"), I figured it out and told him the hotel name. He thought I couldn't speak English. (Isn't it weird that when people think you can't speak English they start using really bad grammar? Like the bus driver who after my wrong answers asked, "Live where?")

On our ride there, I'm quite positive the driver made more than one illegal manoeuvre and there really was no need for him to use the horn every five minutes.

After the driver got our bags and was waiting for a tip, since Lauren didn't give him one, I didn't either. The bus driver didn't take it too badly.

We got to the hotel at about 1pm (too early for check-in), put our bags in the storage and went to explore the area.

After buying our Disneyland tickets and a quick walk through Downtown Disney, we went back to the hotel to get our room.

We were given one in a little building, across from the main one, that only had stairs so we had to drag our luggage across them. Once in the room, I noticed that there was only one bed and a couch.

Although Lauren said that she didn't mind sleeping on the couch, I (not very happily) marched back to the reception desk and demanded (nicely) to be give the room we paid for (i.e. two beds) and for it to be in the main building (that had a lift).

Our newly allocated room looked exactly like from the brochure in which I found it. We also have a great view of Disneyland and the rest of Anaheim from our top floor. Lots of photos were taken to try and capture the beauty that we can see from our balcony (which also acts as the corridor to all the rooms). The architecture in this whole area feels like you're in a storybook. Each hotel's/shop's/restaurant's sign is worthy of a photo.

After we checked into our room, we went to buy some food. I found it impossible to find anything that was even relatively healthy so ended up buying the best of all the bad ones - microwavable spaghetti with meat balls and two apples (from New Zealand, of all places!)

Had fun saying we were from Australia to shop owners who asked. I'm trying to get an American accent for the duration of my trip but it hasn't been working yet.

We also got a phone card each from the little store next to us. Called my Mum and asked her to call me back from her phone card. Had a nice conversation.

Found out that internet is really expensive here so can't email my friends yet. Maybe I'll send postcards.

Really regretted not bringing my own utensils and had to borrow Lauren's plastic fork.

We were thinking of going out tonight but we're both too tired. Even after my nap, I feel a bit groggy.

We watched cable TV (which was great, for your information).

Really want to take a shower now but the bathroom doesn't look too hygienic. Maybe I'll give a try cleaning it.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Where Am I?

Well, I'm back!

It feels so weird to be writing here after so long. Well, I guess a month isn't that long but it sure feels like it after all the adventures I've had!

The trip met all my expectations and a bit more! I think I can safely say that it was the most exciting month of my life. It was exactly what I needed.

Since I'm not planning to tell you everything in this entry because I did fill out about 200 pages of my notebook that I took with me but here's a very basic summary of the most memorable parts:

  • amusement parks
  • tour
  • met people
  • met someone
  • wedding
  • breath-taking scenery
  • perfect career
  • fun in the South
  • busy city life
More details later! Still not sure how I'm going to write about everything that happened. I was thinking of creating a separate journal of my trip but I don't know... Maybe I'll write separate adventures in here...

I still feel quite overwhelmed by everything.

When I got back, everything seemed different. My house seemed lighter and more spacious, people seemed to have grown. My grandma (from POB) is living with us now for a month. I'm trying to get back to everything but it's odd. You can tell that I've been travelling a lot lately because when I woke up, I couldn't remember where I was.

Even though I had such a wonderful time on my trip, it's nice to be home and most importantly see everyone again.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

High Heels = High Pain. Ways To Embarrass Myself.

Earlier this week when I was talking to Christine on the phone, she said she bought her first pair of pretty pink shoes that she wanted to wear today but she didn't want to be the only one wearing those sort of shoes just for lunch and if I could wear my high-heeled shoes. I told her no because there's no way I'm spending all day in uncomfortable shoes, only to get sore feet for the formal (for which I would have to wear nice shoes). She said she'd try to convince the others.

I didn't think much of it until today when Claud and Amelia turned up in high heels at 11:30 in the morning. (April didn't come because she had exams to study for.) Since Christine wasn't there yet (as usual), we had to go to the place without her. Amelia and Claudia said a few... uhm... words about wearing inappropriate shoes just for Christine when she wasn't even there. I tried to joke around and say that maybe she decided not to wear her new shoes at all but they didn't find it funny.

Almost an hour later, Christine did turn up in her new shoes (which I have to say didn't look as good as I expected). I felt like we were some high school clique - all wearing the same type of shoes just 'cause Christine asked. Almost like in Mean Girls. Except the mean part since I was wearing my comfy sandals and no one cared.

After lunch, when we were walking through the city, I felt like they were part of Sex and the City with their casual clothes and high heels. Oh my God, there goes my TV and movie obsession again.

Claudia left straight after lunch but Christine, Amelia and I hung around at a shopping centre for a bit longer. Christine started bitching about Ellen and Amelia said a few of "And no one believed me she was fake!". I felt kinda bad 'cause I don't dislike her as much as they do. There are a lot worse people to dislike.

At about 3pm, I rushed home to get ready. I tried to curl my hair but it was a disaster because it wouldn't stay curled so I gave up. Maybe I'll master the art of curling hair one day. Then had to make the hard decision of whether I should wear stockings and my new closed toe shoes or no stockings and my year 12 formal strappy shoes. After some deliberation I made my decision.

I was a bit worried about catching the train in my dress because I always think that people would stare at me but there was another woman who was wearing a more stare-worthy dress so no one paid attention to me.

When I was on the train, I got a call from Sophia saying that they (she, Katie and Norma) could pick me up at a closer station. I was quite happy that I wouldn't have had to change trains. Just when I got to the station where I had to get off, I got a call from Sophia telling me to hurry up because they were already there and they couldn't stop to park.

So ignoring the pain that was forming in my feet, I walked quite quickly to where they were supposed to meet me (About 10 minutes from the station which seemed a lot further when you are wearing high heels). But there was no one in sight. I called Sophia, asking where they were. I, then, hear Katie's voice telling me that they already passed where I was and were now quite far and could I catch the bus there?

I was obviously not very very happy. And I obviously let them know that. Katie said she was driving and gave the phone to Sophia who told me she'd call me back. A minute later, I get a call from Sophia telling me that they are turning around and coming to pick me up. And that they are very sorry and they didn't know what they were thinking.

Five minutes later, I get another call from them, telling me that they're lost and they don't know when they're going to be here. I offered to start walking towards their direction.

I ended up walking for another twenty minutes. All I wanted to do was snap my fingers and be at the hotel where our formal was supposed to be. However, real life is not a fairytale. It was weird how even though I felt a bit uncomfortable wearing an almost formal dress on the train but could not care less when I was walking in it through the city because I was too focused on fast-forwarding the time to when we are actually at the formal and didn't care at all what anyone on the street was thinking or if they were even looking at me.

While I was walking, I got a few calls and messages from people who were already there and wondering where I was. I didn't have the time to answer the calls or the messages because every few moments I called Sophia and asked her where they were and her answer was never what I wanted to hear (which would be "Right next to you").

Finally, we connected and I got into the car (while they were stopped at a traffic light). It was so windy my dress flew everywhere, almost flashing all the other cars. My feet hurt too much to be embarrassed. It's funny how pain can block out every bit of self-consciousness.

After they all apologised some more, Norma asked if I could drive so that Katie could change (since she was planning on coming early to decorate and was going to change later). I agreed and we changed places at the next traffic light. Everyone else was stressing so much, I had to calm them down. Being late was not the end of the world.

Everyone was calling us asking where we were. Katie got changed in the back seat which was a first for her. Sophia was at the front, trying to read a map (quite unsuccessfully). I had no idea where I was going. Norma was telling everyone to stop stressing and I told her to stop telling everyone to stop stressing because she seemed to be stressing the most. I said that it would be a funny story to tell everyone.

After a few failed attempts to find parking that didn't cost a fortune, we found a spot (that only cost half a fortune).

Katie lost a few things in the back seat while she was getting dressed. She, then, refused to get out of the car without her makeup which was silly because I wasn't even wearing any (except lip gloss). I'm sure she could've gone without.

We had to walk another fifteen minutes to the hotel. My feet were barely alive by then.

When we got there, there was no one there which was very unexpected. It turned out that everyone was outside in the courtyard. When they came inside, we told them we were there the whole time. Somehow, 95% of people didn't believe us.

The dinner was followed by lots of photo taking. Even though I brought my camera, I didn't take any because I was too lazy and thought I'd just get the photos from the other people. I regret this a bit now because I could've taken photos of specific groups of people that I wanted a photo with.

The gross girl (that I wrote about earlier) made out with her boyfriend the whole time. Another gross thing to add to her list.

We had some time for good-bye speeches that anyone who wanted to could make. Fabian couldn't resist the opportunity for so much attention. What he also couldn't resist was to mention me right at the end of his dumb speech. This of course encouraged everyone to look at me, cheer and yell inappropriate things. And there I was, thinking that Fabian got over trying to annoy me. At least I know that was his last chance ever to bring unwanted attention to me. I will never see him again. Well, other than the graduation but it's highly unlikely for him to say anything to/about me then.

That incident was a little uncomfortable but my main embarrassing moment was still to come. (Don't get too excited yet!)

After literally dragging my friends onto the dance floor because a fun night cannot possible go without dancing, I was starting to relax and enjoy the party.

Then, this guy who I've never properly spoken to for my three years of uni and who was showing off his one cool move over and over again, took my hand and pulled me into the centre of the dance floor.

I was so shocked that I couldn't dance properly. I tried to match his moves (which we can assume was learnt to impress) but I couldn't get the hang of it so I looked like an idiot in front of everyone who was dancing around us. I should've just stuck to standard club dancing and not stared at his feet the whole time, trying to copy what he was doing. That is one part of the night which I wish went better (i.e. we danced really impressively together) but it will be added to my list of 'moments I'd like to forget' and will therefore be another one of 'my moments that I will always remember'.

When I decided to stop my embarrassment and rejoin the other people who were not the centre of attention, the guy I was dancing with sort of held on to my shoulder and his hand slipped to where it was not supposed to. I'm still not sure if it was accidental because he didn't take it away fast enough. After that, I stuck to the outskirts of the dance area and stayed there till the end, chatting to my friends (who were not into dancing at all).

When the party (at the hotel) was finishing and everyone was hugging and kissing each other good-bye, I got hugged and kissed by people I've never even spoken to.

One guy, Bill, should learn to keep his saliva to himself. I felt like my cheek was brushed with a wet sponge. Sally also had that experience with him so we talked a bit about how gross it was.

The guy who I embarrassed myself with earlier gave me a hug that was a bit too long and too strong. I think he might've been drunk.

When I saw Justin coming my way, I tried to move away before he came to me but he managed to get to me. I wanted to yell at him to stop hugging people who don't want to hug you. This party was not supposed to be an excuse to get physically close to people who have never liked you. Why couldn't they (especially guys since they were doing most of the hugging and kissing) understand that? It seemed like there was a whole line of guys waiting to hug and kiss you. At one point I felt like saying (in a Queen-like sort of voice) "Who's next to have this honour?"

When I saw the drunk 30 year old who did our course hugging and kissing Sally (who was standing next to me), I moved faster than I had all night. I saw Sam and almost felt like hugging him myself because I've actually talked with him throughout my course and he wasn't as sleazy as the rest of them.

I've ended up hugging Sam a few times throughout the end of the night. I think he just forgot that we hugged already. A poor guy can get confused after so many girls! Even I lost count how many guys had 'the honour'. That number probably made up for the last few years when I didn't have any guy hugs (even if they were like the immature idiots that were in my course who'd I wouldn't want to ever hug again in the future).

I walked back to the station and waited for a train with Jason (one guy who's smart and mature enough not to hug every girl) and we had a nice appropriate conversation about our future and our years at uni. I wish there were more guys like him. Only more my type. It's easier to respect them and therefore be friends.

It's 2am already and I still have to finish packing before I leave. If I don't write in here before I go, I'll be back before Christmas with all the juicy (hopefully) details of my trip. Meanwhile, if you find you're sufferring from withdrawal symptoms because you can't live without knowing what's going on (or not going on) in my life, feel free to email me!

Thanks for reading my blog and I'll be back in a month to continue your reading pleasure :P

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Progress Update

I finished one website layout but I'm not too happy with it. Somehow, I really doubt that I'd be able to finish everything by tonight.

I'm also pretty sure that there's no way that I'd be able to finish by library book by Saturday.

I think I might plan some more for my trip now. (This trip planning that I want to finish isn't completely necessary but it would be very useful in saving us a lot of time when we get there.)

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Where My Thoughts Lead

I think April and I are way too obsessed with movies and TV shows. We see every event of our lives (no matter how small or insignificant) as a possible scene.

Anything that we find even remotely funny, we imagine how it would look like as part of a TV show or a movie. We are the main characters, of course. And everything revolves around us.

I don't remember where I saw this quote "Your purpose in life may be just to serve as a warning to others". Not that I believe in everyone having a purpose since I think everything happens by chance but that is such a depressing thought.

So if I believed that, my purpose in life would be to warn others that "If you're like me, you'll end up alone and crazy". And it might also be to make April feel better about being alone and crazy. But then her purpose might be to make me feel better about being alone and crazy. So what would be the point of having 2 people living just to make the other one feel better.

I think my thought process is leading me into bizzarre territory (like when nothing made sense in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass).

Time to go and read my library book. Really don't want to return it without finishing it and only coming back to it in a month.

Yay, I'm Not Stupid*

Tjej's blog entry today made me feel clever since I got it in about 2 seconds.

* I'm not saying that people who didn't understand are stupid. Just so we're clear.

New Generation

Ok, so I didn't finish any layouts. My excuse is that I felt a bit sick (from the homoepathic medications, which the doctor said would make me feel like that). And I didn't really finish the trip planning for the same reason. And didn't read the library book at all.

I'm sort of baby-sitting my cousin, Jenna, now. I think she's growing up because she no longer runs around like a lunatic, breaking everything in her way.

After she ate (and fed her clothes and everything that was around her), she wrote some stuff in her notebook and is now watching some cartoon her parents gave her, while running into the kitchen every now and then to take biscuits and feed them to the couch (fortunately it's leather and is easily cleaned). If my Mum wasn't home today, I'd probably already take the biscuits away. So many aren't good for her.

Knowing that there's a new generation of kids in my family, makes me feel old.

Friday night is the formal. Can't wait. I think I'm excited about it only because I get to wear a pretty dress - something that is extremely rare. In the morning I'm meeting Amelia so my main goal for this week will be achieved.

And then, I'm leaving. I know I've said this a hundred times before but I ABSOLUTELY can't wait!!!

Should

Should do the website layouts right now.
Should stop procrastinating so I can finish my trip planning.
Should finish my library book.
Should stop getting distracted by writing in here.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The Little Events of the Last Two Days

I was going to write something amusing but I completely forgot what.

I met up with Nadine today. She took me to a shoe outlet place near her house. After my 2 months search for shoes, I've found a pair that I'm relatively happy with. Nadine (or anyone, for that matter, who goes shopping with me) should be given a medal for their patience. I'm the pickiest person on the planet (and no, I haven't met everyone on the planet but I'm sure I'll be in the top 10, at least). Although, the clothes and shoes that I do own, I wear for ages.

After my shoe purchase, we went to Nadine's house and chatted there for a few hours. She told me how she can't wait for her 10 year reunion because she can bring one of her hot guy friends and show-off to everyone who gave her a hard time. She hated her high school with a passion (which was understandable since it was the high school of the primary school that I went to which I also hated; think - lots of snobby rich kids whose purpose in life is to make nice kids' lives hell). Even though she was always loud with me, she used to be very shy in high school but at uni she finally showed her real self so people (from her school) would definitely not recognise her.

I always wanted to show off at my high school reunion too (but I guess most people want to be seen as successful) but at the rate I'm going I don't even want to go to my high school reunion. I don't want to go if I'm single and have a boring 9 to 5 job. I always wanted to go to a 10 year reunion with my husband and tell everyone about my 2 wonderful kids and my exciting job at a TV/film studio.

I told April this a while ago and she said that she doesn't care if she's going to be single and living with her parents, she's still going to go and see how successful everyone else is. I told her to let me know when she gets back.

Since Nadine had to go to work at 3, she gave me a lift to the station and I went home.

My 'boss' called me in the morning to tell me that my original logo with his added suggestions was perfect and he now wants me to do his website. I was planning on meeting Amelia tomorrow but it'll have to be postponed till Friday since I have to do a few different layouts by Thursday.

I also got an email reply from the girl that I was planning on meeting in New York. She said she has to find out exactly which days her exams are so she can meet us on her free days. She seemed excited about it. It's kinda weird because I don't even really know her that well. We just talked a few times in class and when I mentioned going to America, she said to let her know when so she can meet us (since she lives near New York). I guess it'd be great to have a local show us around.

Oh my God, I SOOOOOO cannot wait!!! I can't believe I'll be leaving in less than a week (sorry, can't tell you the exact date because I'm paranoid people might recognise me since I've been talking about my trip with everyone).

Oh! Andy's girlfriend is leaving for over a month today! Ok, I'll try to be less happy. As one person pointed out, I should put this in perspective - she's not a murderer or a drug addict and she makes my brother happy. Andy was saying how a lot of guys ask her out and she might find someone else overseas. Secretly, I really hope so. I'm starting to feel ashamed of my selfish thoughts. But I guess thoughts can't hurt anyone. My brother deserves someone better. A lot better. She's lucky to have him at all.

I saw the Sex and the City final last night. I had a sneaking suspicion that they were going to reveal Mr Big's real name. He actually looked like a John. Even though I never watched it regularly, I was satisfied with the ending. And does anyone think that Samantha's boyfriend looks like Heath Ledger (especially when he had long hair)? I think the thing I liked most about the show was the women's friendship because I can really relate to it with my close friends.

It's kinda sad that so many good shows are ending. I wonder if there'll be any new ones that would really involve me.

Last night I was chatting to some of my uni friends and they were all complaining about not liking their formal dresses. I felt quite happy that I liked mine. Then I tried it on again and for some reason I didn't look good in it anymore. I looked so plain and ordinary. Oh well, can't change the way I look.

Yesterday something really cool happened. When I went to tutor my student for the last time and I was telling the mother that I wasn't sure who they were going to get as a replacement and the mother said to me, "Oh, we asked the agency not to give us any replacements because we'd like to stay with you.". I felt so overwhelmed with warmth because even though they paid full term fees, they didn't want anyone else but would rather wait for me. I told them that if I get a full time job, I'd have to make the lesson later and she said that she didn't mind because she was happy with me. It's little things like that that make a single girl like me really happy.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

The Edge of Reason

I was just reading some message boards on IMDB about Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason and I found this very amusing one.

Bridget Causes the "Silliness Syndrome"

I had quite a busy weekend.

Last night started with meeting April (straight after her shift at work) and Claudia. We were supposed to have dinner but we didn't have time to decide on where so we just ate at McDonalds. So my 'don't eat any junk food before the formal' plan didn't even have a chance. After that, we went to get movie tickets for Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Just before we were about to buy them, Christine called Claudia to let us know that she can get us discount tickets when she gets here.

So there was the catch - wait for Christine (the Queen of Coming Late) and risk missing the beginning of the film or get bad seats OR buy the tickets and have the peace of mind. After April obsessively checked her watch ("Ok, 5 more minutes." 5 minutes later... "Ok, 2 more minutes" 2 minutes later... "One minute and that's it! Oh what the hell, I'm just going to buy them now"), April and I decided to get the tickets. Claudia decided to wait for Christine. April and I said that we were going to go into the cinemas and get the best seats. Then we walked to the entrance a bit too hurriedly and handed our tickets to the guy who checked them.

"Sorry, the cinema isn't ready yet. Come back in about 2 minutes," he said. Embarrassed April and I went back to Claudia who laughed at us. And quite rightfully so - we were behaving like fools. It was just a movie, after all, but it was a movie that April and I've been waiting a year for.

Exactly 2 minutes later we went back. I don't know why but we almost ran which was so stupid but we couldn't help it. The guy told us that the cinema was still not ready and he probably thought that we were crazy for thinking that he meant exactly 2 minutes. And we were crazy (but then again, that's our usual state).

April asked if we could go in anyway and wait outside our cinema. He let us. There were exactly 2 seats outside the cinema door so we assumed they were made especially for us. We sat down as if the whole movie was just for us. Some people started coming too and making a line at the door. We quickly got up and stood next to the line, right at the front. We were there first so we deserved our choice of seats. We prepared a nice plan in case worst came to worst. We were going to stand in front of the door with our arms blocking it and April (since she was wearing her work clothes and looked like she worked there) was going to tell everyone that the movie was going to be at the other cinema and that this was a private screening. The way it should've been.
While we were laughing hysterically at the image of us trying to prevent everyone from coming in, Christine and Claudia came and the doors were opened and everyone started to go in. April actually made some sort of squel that sounded like "Ah!" and quickly pushed in front of the others so we could walk in first. We were the second into the cinema and got our choice of seats. Christine and Claudia were rolling their eyes at our insanity.

As soon as we sat down, the memory of my last cinema visit (with Andrew) came to me and it wouldn't leave my mind. The only images I could see were the ones in my head of us talking before the movie. The same memory film (of our date) that had played in my mind many times started playing again. I tried to distract myself by talking with April but all I could focus was his smile and the words he said. It's like one mystery I will never solve. I will never find any clues in my memory of what happened and figure out some answer as to what went so wrong when we had such a good time.

All I could remember were all the hints that told me that I was going to surely see him again (him double checking he gave me the right number when I asked him, him saying that he'll tell me something the next time he sees me, him asking me if I liked the food, him telling me so much about his family, him teasing me, him laughing etc.)

He SO does not deserve so much of my memory space (something I only have a limited amount of). I guess I should look on the bright side - I saved $22 (since he paid for dinner). I will spend those $22 for all they're worth.

When the movie started, its wonderfullness blocked my memories and I got totally involved in Bridget Jones's life. April and I laughed more than others because there were so many little things that we could relate to (eg. putting the word 'boyfriend' into every sentence - something that we would so do). Claudia, later, told me that she didn't get why April was laughing so much (since she laughed louder than me and was sitting closer to her). Some bits were so hilarious that my stomach hurt from laughing.

The ending was very sweet (as expected) but I mentioned to April that the sad thing about it is that after we get to 34, we are not going to be able to relate to Bridget anymore.

After the movie, we went to Christine's place and played Pictionary. April and I were once again playing against Christine and Claudia. And once again, we lost. No one can compete with Claudia's genius guessing abilities. Christine would just draw one line and Claudia would know what it was straight away. Meanwhile April would forcefully and frustrated circle what she drew over and over again as I would unsuccesfully try and guess what her blob meant. It was fun nonetheless.

Yesterday was probably the last time I would see April before I leave. I don't know how I'm going to cope without talking to her almost every day. For the last year, especially, we've been each other's free counsellors and it'll be weird not to tell her (almost) every detail of my life for a month.

Today, I met up with Claudia and we went to some town festival. We hung around there for a while before Claudia's new friend, Mike, came. He's the most insecure guy I've met. It was hard to believe he was our age (not only because he looked 14 but because he was so unsure of himself). He wanted to eat but couldn't decide what. Every time we'd stop in front of some place and ask him if he wanted to eat there, he'd say "I don't know". And we did?

I told him that he'd have to decide himself because we didn't know what he wanted. After about 30 minutes, he managed to pick a place. He'd also fakely laugh at every comment I'd make. I get that he was just trying to be friendly but it makes me feel like he thinks I'm being funny when I'm not. Something that happens quite often with people who just meet me. It's part of my personality to make comments about things and people who don't know me think I'm trying to be funny. April thinks that it's hilarious that people think I make sad jokes when I'm being serious/friendly. I think I should just stop commenting (although that's what usually makes me make friends with people).

Christine was supposed to come and meet us but she called when we were already leaving. Claudia and Mike went to meet her and Evan but I decided to go home because I was supposed to call back my 'boss' about the 'work' since he called me last night and this morning just before I was leaving. He decided (or more like his girlfriend) that my original logo was more suitable so now I have to make a combination of my original logos. Will do that tomorrow.

I also found out that I had a missed call from my brother's girlfriend. This isn't the first time she called me. She also called last week to remind me to tape a show for my brother. I really don't want to talk to her. I'll tell Andy to call me himself if he needs something.

There are still so many things to do next week before I leave. My main goal is to see Amelia before I go. I'm starting to miss her because I haven't seen her in SOOOO long.

It's going to be so weird with only Claud still being at uni next year. No more meeting up for lunch. April might stay on at uni and do a post-grad course but it won't be at the same one as Claudia. All of our lives are going to be changing so much next year.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Why Guys Act Like Idiots, Big Sister Duties and the Irony of Confession

I get some interesting search queries that show my blog in the results. The latest one was "why do guys act like idiots". I can't believe that someone actually was looking for an answer to that. They are not going to find any such wisdom in my blog.

As my brother would explain anyone acting the way they do - "They can't help it, it's the way they are". Which I guess is the reason why he is so tolerant to everyone.

I don't know if I can really agree with that because I feel like people can change their behaviour. I guess they can't change their basic fundamental personality but people do have some will power over their actions.

As for why guys (or anyone for that matter) act like idiots, I'd love to know too. Must be a combination of genes and environment, like most (or even all) personality traits are.

Now, to the topic of my brother and his girlfriend. Yesterday, for the first time, he actually organised a real plan for their date (not just meeting up for no reason) and she cancelled at the last minute which made him quite upset since he put a lot of effort into it. So I had to try to be the understanding big sister without saying "I never liked her anyway".

We had a nice chat about everything which made me realise that the reason I'm so against his girlfriend is because I never get to see or talk to him anymore since he's always with her.

He said that he really hates it when I say that I don't like his friends/girlfriend because he starts to doubt them too since he's so influenced by my opinions so I told him that I won't say it anymore. All the complaints will be saved for this blog. (As they always are anyway.)

Yesterday was also quite an interesting day for me because I crashed the car for the first time since I got my licence. I crashed it twice when I was trying to get out of the wrong exit of a parking lot. I'm sure all the cars waiting for me had an amusing show of me trying to turn the car at an impossible angle and bumping into the front sidewalk and then the back one.

When I got home, I quickly decided to assess the damage and consider all the pros and cons of telling my parents. There was a significant dent at the front and some plastic came off at the back so I decided to confess because it would've been worse if my parents found out themselves.

So I showed my Mum and she took it better than I expected. She said, "These dents were already here. Your Dad did those". I wasn't expecting that response, although the dents did look too high up for what I hit. We looked for any other evidence of what I did and we couldn't find anything.

So I could've gotten away without telling. I could've saved that sort of confession for a next time when there would be actual visible proof so I wouldn't get another lecture how I should be more careful.

Oh well, that's life.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Blah Blah Blah

I'm sick of covering up for my brother. I wish my parents would stop asking me where he is all the time. I was thinking that I should convince Andy to tell our parents about his girlfriend but then if they knew, they'd start a pity party for me and I really don't need that.

I finished another logo for 'work' (maybe one day soon I will stop putting quotation marks around it). I showed my Mum and she started laughing which was the perfect reaction since my 'boss' wanted it to make people happy.

Talked with Nadine and we are going to meet up next week. (If she doesn't cancel at the last minute to keep up her tradition.) I don't even remember the last time I saw her. In March? A long time ago. Although she did know about the Bus Guy so it must've been after May. Hmm. Still a while ago.

Talked with Claudia on Tuesday which was nice. She's the sweetest person. Should call Amelia to meet up with her before I go since she can't meet us on the weekend because of her work. Haven't seen her for a while too. Haven't talked with April for a week (which is a long time for her and me) but she's been very busy with her assignments so it's understandable.

Judging by how often I write in here just goes to show how little I've been doing lately (or maybe more if I have more stuff to write about...)

Since lots of bloggers have been doing the following, I will too since I have nothing substantial to write.

A YEAR AGO, I:
1. Had the first long phone conversation with Max.
2. Was not 100% sure about going to America
3. Was working in retail.
4. Was writing a movie script with April.
5. I could not imagine going on a real date that I'd really enjoy and then get rejected in such a silly way.

YESTERDAY, I:
1. Went to meet my 'boss' to discuss what he wanted.
2. Sent my travel insurance form.
3. Got free TV show tickets to go to when we'll be in LA.
4. Emailed April about Saturday.
5. Found wonderful old comments that I've never read before.

TODAY, I:
1. Have made a new logo.
2. Talked with Lauren.
3. Talked with Nadine.
4. Felt bad about not liking my brother's girlfriend.
5. Read some more of "The Bronze Horseman" in the hope of finishing it before I leave.

Five things I would buy with $10,000:
1. Trip to America
2. Hair curling iron
3. Clothes
4. Shoes and accessories
5. Everyone's Christmas presents

Top five locations I would run away to:
1. USA (I'll be running away there next week!)
2. Scandinavia
3. France
4. Hawaii
5. Japan

Five things that scare me:
1. Death
2. Excrutiating long term physical pain
3. Being single for the rest of my life and never experiencing true love
4. Rejection
5. Public speaking

Five things that make me laugh:
1. Andy
2. Friends (especially April)
3. Funny TV shows/movies/books
4. Unusual/absurd events
5. Myself

Five things I hate:
1. Evil people (eg. terrorists)
2. Religion
3. Smoking, getting drunk, drugs
4. Being overly sensitive sometimes
5. Medicine not advancing enough to help people

Five things in my room:
1. My bed
2. My travel stuff
3. Books
4. My uni stuff
5. My desk

Right now I am:
1. In love with Maroon 5 old songs (when they used to be Kara's Flowers).
2. Looking forward to America.
3. Tired but restless.
4. Taking homeopathic treatment (it's actually helping my urticaria).
5. Wishing I had RG

Five things I plan to do before I die:
1. Get happily married
2. Have happy kids
3. Make a positive difference to someone's life
4. Travel
5. Get a job that I enjoy

Five things I can do:
1. Waste time
2. Play piano
3. Get excited about new things
4. Lie well
5. Think logically (even though my actions don't always follow)

Five things I can't do:
1. Sing
2. Get a boyfriend
3. Play piano by ear
4. Get over my obsession with getting married young
5. Be attracted to a guy younger than me

Five things I love:
1. Dancing
2. Great music
3. Nice surprises
4. Reading
5. Being appreciated

Being Selfish

My brother asked if it's ok if he invites his girlfriend over today and I don't know why but I was totally against the idea. It's so selfish of me and I wish I didn't care. But for some reason I just don't like his girlfriend. I'm still not sure why. She's nice, smart, pretty and she really likes my brother. Maybe it's the over-protective big sister streak in me but I don't think that's it because I wouldn't mind him going out with Jen (a family friend).

The more I think about it the more I feel that it might be because I can't relate to this girl. She's too perfect. She acts too cute, too nice, she's too tall. And she doesn't seem to have a sense of humour. She's like the most standard nice guy's perfect girlfriend.

And when I asked my brother if she has said anything about me, and he said that after meeting me she said, "I'm sure she's the nicest person!", that kind of condescension really annoyed me.

Andy is taking Jen to his formal because he asked her before he started going out with Vanessa and Vanessa isn't even going to be here for his formal. I wish Jen liked my brother enough to want to go out with him because at least she's a real person who's not perfect and she is very clever and funny.

I wish I'd just like Vanessa because it's never a good idea to have a conflict with my brother's girlfriend 'cause that's not fair to him. I'd hate it if Andy didn't like my boyfriend.

Or maybe I'm so against her coming over because I don't want to see yet another happy couple right under my nose.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Surprise Comments

I was just reading through my old entries and I found new comments that have been posted a month after I've written the entry. What a nice surprise! It was 10 comments from one person! And he/she said one of the nicest things readers have ever said about my blog (and there have been lots of people lately saying nice things which makes me feel extremely good). I think I will just read it over and over again now.

My Career

I met up with my 'boss' today to show him what I've done and see what exactly he had in mind since I actually haven't spoken to him until today.

It turns out he has very unrealistic expectations - he wants the logo to be an 19th Century Art masterpiece. I tried to explain to him that a logo has to be simple and he agreed but he still wants an illustration fit to be a movie with lots of characters and a complicated backdrop.

*Sigh*

I came up with an idea that would still capture the feeling that he wants but without millions of details. Really hope he likes it because I honestly don't think it's possible to create what he wants. I talked to my Dad about it 'cause he always has good ideas about such things and he totally agreed with me. And he really liked my idea (which is rare).

Now I just have to make my idea a reality and use my communication (i.e. manipulation) skills to convince the guy that I know what I'm talking about. Especially that he seemed to really want me to agree with his choice.

Ahh, this is what my design career will be like - lots of clients with unrealistic expectations. Can't wait!

Songs That Touch The Heart

Songs That Touch The Heart

She sits all alone reading books and drinking wine
Admires all the cracks by the doorway
She tries to look happy but shes slowly running out of smiles
Gracefully wasting away

Who is gonna make the birds sing?

Who is gonna be her everything?
Everyday goodbyes

She foolishly tries to convince herself that she'll be fine
She blows all her kisses to noone
As the phone rings again, she just closes her eyes
She covers her ears and screams "please not today!"

Who is gonna make the birds sing?
Who is gonna be her everything?
Everyday goodbyes

She cries and then she sighs
And gets down on her knees yelling "I don't believe what has happened to me"
She cries and then she sighs
And gets down on her knees yelling "i don't believe what has happened to me"

Who is gonna make the birds sing?
Who is gonna be her everything?
Everyday goodbyes.

I love Maroon 5.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Sign of Age

Sign of Age

I just realised that people being too cute doesn't impress me anymore. I think it's a sign I'm getting older.

Dear Reader,

Dear Reader,

I feel kinda restless now. So I'll do what I usually do in those situations - ramble here.

I've been wanting to say something about this here for a while now but didn't get around to it until now. I was going to say that it's really cool to have readers comment regularly. It makes me feel like I have a secret blog life with a secret circle of people that know more about me than some people in my real life since it's so easy to be open anonymously.

And what I really like about this is that I probably wouldn't even talk to some of you if I met you in real life because of a number of things such as large age difference and location and just a different place in life, yet it's so easy to talk to you here because there are no preconceived notions of what you or I are like in our daily lives and everything is so neutral because there are no expectations of anything. Everyone can be completely honest without any repercussions. It's like, it's just lots of minds talking to each other and nothing else comes into it. Not age, not looks, not status nor your place in society. That is one reason I would never meet anyone who reads my blog.

Anyway, I think this sort of arrangement is very cool.

Work and Friends

Work and Friends

I've done a number of different logos now and my 'work day' hasn't finished yet. Can't start on the web site yet because my 'boss' has to approve the logo first.

(As you can probably tell, I love saying how this logo and website designing is like a proper job.)

Yesterday when I told April about this 'job', she said that I 'always get everything without doing anything'. It makes me laugh just thinking about that because the last few good things have happened like that but before, I used to feel that I never got what I wanted without working hard for it and used to be amazed at how Nadine got everything without doing anything. April and my friendship is starting to feel like such a reverse of my friendship with Nadine.

Last few times I've talked to Nadine, all we talked about was uni and me going to America. I cannot believe that those general topics are the only things we can discuss now when before we used to talk about everything. But April and I are more similar than Nadine and I so hopefully won't drift apart so much.

Mystery Solved

Mystery Solved

It was my brother calling from his girlfriend's phone.

Mystery Caller

Mystery Caller

I've done one logo so I'm allowed one distraction.

About half an hour ago someone called my mobile but since I was in another room and didn't hear it straight away, I missed the call. It said it was from some number I didn't know. First thing that came into my mind was that it was from Andrew (who might've gotten a new number which would explain why he didn't get my other call and message) but then I told myself that was highly unlikely because why would he call me from work? And he could've also called me from his home number before.

I hate how even though I've stopped expecting him to call since last week, something as small as getting a call from an unknown number would bring all this hope back. Argh. And I know it's not from some company (eg. travel agent, tutoring agency etc) because they all have private numbers and they leave messages on my voicemail and they don't call from mobiles. They call from their office phones. So it was probably just a wrong number. Yep, that's what it was.

Ok, back to work.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Home Work and Other Things To Do

Home Work and Other Things To Do

I got a job. Well, sorta since I'm not sure if I'm going to get paid for it (depends on how much they like it) but I don't care. It's going to be great work experience.

I have been asked to design a logo and a website for a friend of a family friend. I can do all this from home which I guess doesn't make it seem like a real job. Maybe I'll put on proper work clothes when I do this so I can focus better. Otherwise it would just feel like some uni assignment which I do in short blocks (depending on when I get stuck) and make trips to the kitchen in search of snacks and get distracted by the internet (especially writing here).

Although they are not in a rush, I've given myself a 2 week deadline so I can get it done before I leave for America. I will start from tomorrow and will set specific work hours and a lunch hour so I can get into some routine.

Here's my plan:

9-10: start work
1-2: lunch
4: finish

Great work day, huh? I think so too.

Oh, and no music while working. No wait, maybe a little. Only if I work faster. Will pretend my boss is in the next room (to make me get less distracted).

I'll see how it goes.

Now that there's only 2 weeks till America, I'm starting to realise how many things I still haven't done.

Still need to get travel insurance.
Still need to buy Disneyland and Universal Studios tickets.
Still need to email that American girl to see if she wants to meet us in New York.
Still need to call the tutoring agency so they can find someone to replace me.
Still need to finish all library books.
Still need to get shoes.
Still need to get a ticket to a TV show.
Still need to get everyone's Christmas presents because there won't be enough time when I get back.
Still need to alter my dress for the formal.

Still need to write a proper list of things to do.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Wish of Wit and Cleverness

Wish of Wit and Cleverness

I've always wanted my blog to be full of witty and clever observations on life. But then again, who doesn't? (Most, probably, just don't think about it.)

I've also wanted some funky design for my blog but since I can never decide on what I want it to look like, I just stick with the boring Blogger style. At one point I even decided to just change the background colour to a slightly different shade of purple/morone and see if anyone would notice but it just looked wrong so I left it this way. I think that as long as this blog exists (either forever or until someone I know finds it and recognises who I am), this design is the only one it will have.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Not Quite Over and Famous People

Not Quite Over and Famous People

It feels strange now that I've finished my uni assignments a few days early. Very unexpected. No one else has finished which makes me think that I should've done more work. Hopefully I'll be able to scrape through with a pass with the work that I have done.

April and the others are not not going to be finishing for a while. Some still have exams. Claudia is the only one who has finished already (apart from me). We should've organised to meet up today. Oh well.

Next week we are all meeting up for a little farewell party for me and Claud (cos she's going overseas as well). We'll be watching Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. I've been waiting to watch that movie since I read the book. I remember I even posted a few entries about it here and here.

I also found Zach Braff's blog. You know, the main guy from Scrubs. It's great to read famous people's blogs to see that they are just ordinary people. (Which most of us know deep inside but it's still nice to know directly.) He gets over a 1000 comments for each post. Not surprising considering he is a celebrity. Speaking of actors being ordinary people, Renée Zellweger sounded so down-to-earth on that Oprah special yesterday.