When Things Fit and When They Don't

Got called up for a temp job at a digital media company yesterday so went there immediately. Every person at the company was male, and gay. They had a major project due next week and needed help in figuring out how to do something. I figured a sort of ok way to solve the problem and the manager thanked me and said he could now do it himself. So that's it.

Of course it would've been great if they liked me and offered to stay but I'm not too surprised. I'm used to job rejections. And I guess being female and not gay didn't help my chances.

Afterward David and I went salsa dancing at a new bar that has free entry. Felt a little intimidated by the other professional dancers. And man, David looked so good dancing. Sure there were plenty of proficient male dancers but none of them looked like they were enjoying it as much as David. It's that enjoyment that makes him glow on the dance floor. Kept getting a little distracted watching him and forgot to move my feet. Felt some ridiculous inner pride, "That's my boyfriend!"

Between dancing, we sat outside and alternated between flirting like two people who just met at a bar and talking like an old couple. Discussed what a great matchmaking team we make because we managed the two unsuspecting victims (i.e. his friend and April) to come out with us next Thursday.

While we were taking a short break from dancing because some woman stepped on my foot with her stiletto heel, some old man came up and told David to go and dance. Then he asked me when I was going to dance to which I just said, "Later." Afterwards David informed me that this guy asked him to dance and when he said no, he asked for my permission. Couldn't stop laughing. David didn't look too comfortable.

After we had enough, we decided to go for a walk along the promenade. We were talking about the crowd at the bar when David said, "There were guys checking you out." I said, "Nah, you're imagining" And he said, "I saw them". I told him, "They were probably noticing how badly I was dancing" and he said, "No man, you're hot." I tried not to giggle, "Naah... really?" and he said, "You are! They were probably thinking, 'That guy only got her 'cause he can dance'". Then I said, "Why didn't I notice them?!"

David always knows the right things to say to boost my confidence.

Saw a free band playing in an outdoor bar. They were pretty good. The weather was beautiful. The view was stunning as usual. I love this city - you can go dancing, listen to a band and not pay a thing. Like David said, it was a perfect night.

Lately I've been thinking about our relationship in a different way. Before I'd always think, "Can I do better? Can I find someone more suitable?" Now I realise, life is not that simple. I'm more than lucky to have found him. The chances that someone else more right for me would even exist (let alone me meeting him) are next to none.

The more I get to know him, the more I see how compatible we are. Of course neither one us is perfect but I think he's the closest to perfect I will ever get.

Yesterday when I was with him I kept thinking, "I don't ever want anyone else. He's my dream come true. Want to be with him always". While I was thinking this, he said, "You're the only person I ever want to be with. It's crazy but I want to be with you all the time! You're perfect. I'm the luckiest guy." If that's not a dream come true, I don't know what is.

I remember only a few months ago, saying "I love you" was the biggest deal and meant so much. Now we've said it so many times, I fear it's losing it's deep impact, even though every time I say it, I mean it just as much as the first time. So we've started to resort to, "I love you, I really mean it. I really do," to keep the same intense meaning, only now it's starting to sound silly, as if before we didn't really mean it.

In the morning, we organised our little weekend adventure which we're both really looking forward to. Should be memorable.