Confessing To Mum and Max

Confessing To Mum and Max

I'm not exactly sure how it happened but I ended up telling my Mum about BG yesterday. She laughed at my bad luck. I think she was kinda pleased that I met someone I liked, even if nothing happened.

When I switched my phone on today in the morning, there was a message from Max that he sent me at 2 in the morning saying how it'd be good to talk again. Didn't feel as happy about it as I would've last week or the week before that. Don't know why but my feelings towards Max change dramatically from desperately wanting to meet and talk to him to pretending he doesn't exist. Right now I'm close to the latter.

I'm trying to think of meeting him as something fun but right now it doesn't seem like it. I feel like I'm happier without any guys at all than with one 'sort of ok' one. This is a rare feeling(especially now that I'm 20).

I have a bit of a cold right now so I'm using that as an excuse not to reply to his message which I think will lead to a conversation over the phone. And my throat can't handle talking for at least an hour (which I'm sure how long it will be).