The Great Divide

When I was a kid, I thought adults were like a different species. They talked differently, they acted differently, they knew everything. They were strong and powerful. I was a little intimidated by them but overplayed 'the innocent kid' card so they would be nice to me. (I'm very sad that acting innocent doesn't work anymore because people just think you're shy and insecure.)

Now I realise, adults are just children who lived longer. As I started working last year where I was equal to people decades older than me, it felt weird to talk to them in a normal way, not in a way I would've talked to my teachers or parents' friends. I could no longer distance myself from their conversations, the way I would when I was young.

I read a few blogs by people in their 30s and you know what? I can relate to them. I feel like they're speaking my language. I guess after you become an adult, your mind stops growing and your personality stops changing (the way it did when you were growing up).

I'm going to be 22 very soon. A 22 year old is definitely an adult, a real grown-up. Yet, I don't really feel like I'm that different. Sure I have had more experiences now but inside my head, I still feel like a kid.

The wonderful thing this year is that I'm not depressed about my birthday for once. I feel like a normal person now that I have a boyfriend. A real serious boyfriend who I'm hopeful to have a future with. I'm not behind which is such a relief. Yes, I don't have a job, but I see that as just another problem in life that people have to deal with at one time or another.

I've organised a little birthday party with my school friends. Everyone said they were coming. Amelia even took a night off work. Hope no one cancels. I even invited Nadine since it's a POBian restaurant and all so she would actually understand everything but she hasn't confirmed. I guess I wouldn't mind so much if she doesn't come.

I was thinking of inviting uni friends but decided against it as I don't want the party split up like it would if they come. I want to have a nice night out with my closest friends. And this might seem very silly, but girls will only outnumber boys by 2. And David will be there which will be absolutely the best. I never had a birthday with a boyfriend.

I smile at the thought that my life now is exactly how I imagined it to be when I was a child. For once in my life, the dream in my head matches my reality. That makes me so happy and I want to hold on to this forever.

It's almost a year since I've met David. Such a once in a lifetime meeting changed my life completely. I don't even want to think what state I'd be in if he didn't come into my life. I read something very interesting on writersbloc, "...those we fall in love with may be all the things we might not even like, but with the right person, those things don't matter and we learn to adjust and deal..." Couldn't have put it better myself. So true. [Read full post here.]

Not being single anymore has started to settle in my mind. I know this because I did something very insensitive that I would have never done, had I remembered what it was like to feel like you'll be alone forever.

Here is what happened. April and I have been wanting to go to theatre for ages but there was nothing on that interested us or was below $200. So finally, she informed me of an affordable show that sounded entertaining. So what do I do but immediately ask David if he wants to go. Of course he said yes because he's never been to a theatre (he's a little behind on these things). Then when April volunteered to get the tickets and as I told her to get an extra ticket, I felt horrible. And what's worse, I was like, "Is it ok?". Like she's going to say, "No, it's not!"

She asked if it was ok to invite other people which just showed me that she wasn't ok going with the two of us. Not like we act couply in front of her but I think just us being happy together is enough. It would've been for me if it was the other way around.

It's weird, now that I'm not working, I have a constant flow of thoughts that I want to blog. I just can't stop typing. Someone stooooopppppp meeeee........