The Life I Wanted

Since I was a teenager all I wanted was to have a 'normal' happy life. You know, the ones you read in books about and watch in TV shows and films. The ones you see portrayed in fiction that make you wish you had 'that'. The close family, the long-time best friends, the love who makes you giddy with happiness. All of that with the quirkiness of personalities, the loyalty and support and just plain fun of life that all those elements let you experience.

As I was celebrating my birthday last night with my friends, I felt like I had the 'normal happy life' I've always dreamed of. My childhood friends were there (including Nadine), the guy who made my heart so full was next to me, and today my grandparents came over.

I had such a good time last night. We went to a POBian restaurant that had a mini cabaret, a violinist and dancing. The atmosphere really reminded me of where I was born. Took me back to the last time I was at that place for Nadine's 18th birthday. At one point she came up to me and said, "I just went to the bathroom and had the biggest deja vu of us talking there last time. I was so drunk I couldn't remember anything of that night but that seat near the bathroom brought back so many memories." It made me nostalgic but happy to have Nadine there to share those memories.

There was a group of young parents with small kids who looked so typically POBian. The tall blonde women all dressed up, the trendy young Dads and the little girls looking like dolls. They had so much food and alcohol on their table. Little things like seeing that group made me remember.

David and I shared a "plate for two". There were several different meats, wedges and salad. Some meat was cooked rare which I didn't particularly like so David said he'd have that and I could have the ones I liked. Then when there was a little bit of salad left, he gave me all the tomatoes and cucumbers, while he took the lettuce. I told him I was happy to share it between the both of us but he said, "I know you like tomatoes and cucumbers so you have them". So so sweet. And he left me the majority of the dessert, refusing to eat the last bit no matter how much I insisted I wanted him to have it. He said, "It's your birthday, you can have anything you want today". What made me smile was that he always lets me have what I want, even on normal days.

Once people started dancing, Amelia all of a sudden gave out a scream and turned away from the dance floor. There was a woman who was wearing a what you may call a long tube top, barely covering her bum. This lady was quite shapely so the more she moved, the more you could see her cellulite jiggling while her dress started riding up, exposing her butt. Of course she didn't care in the slightest and continued to jump around. So for the next 15 minutes, Amelia would glance at the floor and look at me totally freaked out.

When Nadine noticed Amelia's shocked face, she said, "This woman is probably 30, single and desperate so this is the only way she can get attention". Really don't think April felt happy about sluttiness being associated with single and desperate people.

They played some Latin music which was a bit of a surprise, but a good one. I couldn't convince anyone to dance with me. David was the only one who came with me. He was like, "You want to dance? Let's go!"

We did some salsa which made everyone stare because David was showing off his complicated moves. When I feel eyes from everywhere staring at me, I get really tense and stiff. So I probably embarrassed myself. At least I had fun. Later Nadine said, "What you just did... is totally beyond me!"

I wonder what my friends were saying when they saw us dancing like that for the first time. I hope they weren't thinking how ridiculous and out of place we looked. David said I should stop caring what others think and just enjoy it.

After some insisting and pleading, at the end of the night I got to dance with the girls. That was a lot of fun too and just like the single days. Amelia and I did totally uncool moves but we didn't care and continued.

When we went home, I volunteerd to walk April home so she wouldn't have to make her parents stay up. She only lives about 2 minutes from the station but she said there were some bushes where creeps could hide. When we saw that these 'bushes' was one tree, David couldn't stop teasing her about it. I said, "What kind of weirdo would go behind that tree to jump out at people?" and she said, "Precisely a weirdo". God, she's paranoid but really sweet to message me at 7:30 in the morning thanking me for walking her home.

When David and I got home, we stayed up for a couple of hours because we weren't that tired. It was probably from all the excitement earlier. We discussed every event, person and conversation from the party in detail, as well as the presents. Almost everyone gave me bags. I really don't know what to do with so many. Nadine gave me a touching card. She said that even though we don't see each other much, she's happy that she has a wonderful friend in me to share so many memories.

Today my grandparents came for lunch which was really nice. David stayed so he made the whole family event a lot more interesting. Plus I felt grown up to have a partner at a family gathering. He and my brother kept teasing each other the whole time. I think that's the only way they can communicate with each other.

My brother was sweet to me yesterday so I think we'll be getting over the way extended silence between us. That makes me really happy. I really didn't think he had it in him to make an effort to smooth things over. Fortunately I was wrong.

Now, everyone left. The presents are all unwrapped and I'm a year older. I'm sitting at the computer typing out the events that happened in the last two days, feeling like after years of wanting to be surrounded by people who accept me and like me for the person I am inside, I finally have it.

I have April who will be happy for me no matter how sad she is for herself. I have Amelia who will make me laugh with her sharp remarks and dramatic nature. I have Nadine who will remember me the way I was when I was a nine years old and couldn't speak English. I have Claudia and Mike who will always make me relaxed in any situation. I have my family who will always support me and help me no matter what. And of course I now have David who will dance with me when no one else does.