Swing of Balance

Sometimes I wonder if how I feel is due to external influences or because of my own weird chemical reactions in my brain.

Not feeling the best today. Is it because I don't have a job? It is because April didn't want to hang out much? Is it because I thought I'd be seeing David today but will not be? Is it because of hormones? (Never usually happened before.)

I was wondering for a while when the 'beginning' of our relationship will end and since yesterday I felt like it had. I remember before, David would want to spend every moment with me and even though I thought it was a bit too much at first, I got so used to it, I started to love it.

I don't know why I feel like he doesn't anymore. Is it just in my head or are there subconscious hints I can't clearly see?

It's probably just me because only a few days ago I was feeling on top of the world. Don't know where my mood swings are coming from. Did I always have them?