Is the World Spinning or am I?

I read on another blog how that blogger likes to watch people on the train/bus. She said she saw one woman crying and another biting her lip to stop from laughing. She said she wondered what these people were thinking. Why did the middle-aged woman have tears running down her face? What did the young woman find so funny?

Well, today in the morning, I was biting my own lip from smiling. David sent me the sweetest message. I was so happy I wanted to laugh. That plus remembering what he told me yesterday just moved my lips into the biggest grin. I couldn't stop.

Like that wasn't enough, we just had the most amazing conversation on the phone. It got a little uncomfortable at the beginning but once we got into it, it just felt so great. What could we have been talking about, you might wonder.

We talked about our future. The one where we are together. And the most exciting part was discussing how we could make it happen.

At first he was like, "This is really weird, we're talking like we are getting married. Isn't that a bit too soon?" so I told him there was no point discussing serious issues unless he was certain about us. (And you know exactly what I mean by 'certain'.)

He said in the last couple of days he's been thinking and all he wants is to be with me. Forever. He said he can see me in his future.

The absolute best thing that he said that really put me in 100th heaven was that even though religion was the biggest tension between us, he realised even religion was not as important to him as I was. He said I was more important than everything. This was coming from the guy who said he couldn't compare between his faith and me. He said they were completely different things. Now he said I was the more important one. He said he couldn't care about it if I wasn't with him.

Now that's what I call a change!

Anyway, we really got the ball rolling about our future. I told him that even though we knew pretty much everything about each other generally, we never really talked about important things. He asked to give him an example. So I did.

We discussed the topic of kids. It's amazing how we both brought ourselves to an agreement about everything. It's like we were subconsciously trying to find common ground. If we can always talk like that, I think we'd be able to find a solution to everything.

He said he really wanted to wait until he finished his degree and got a full-time job, even if I got one beforehand. I said I was happy to support both of us. Then he was like, what if we 'accidentally' have a kid. I told him the chance of that is pretty minimal. Anyway, I agreed to wait till the end of next year. I mean, I'll still only be 23 so it's still almost in my 'dream age' of getting married. I could have a child before 25 and therefore still be a relatively young Mum.

David also brought up the issue that our friends will still be going out since none of them are planning on getting married until 30 and we wouldn't be able to join them. I told him that my Mum already volunteered to baby-sit. He said his Mum did too. I told him at least we'll be cool young parents, like our own. We won't have a large age gap between our kids and ourselves, like most of our peers will.

It's weird to think back to our old conversations, like the ones where he told me marriage was committing suicide and the one where he didn't want to settle down until he was thirty. And now he's bringing up these topics out of his own accord.

I mean, I want this so much I'm freaked out to bring it up, fearing that he's not certain he wants us to get married etc. Yet, here he is telling me he's been thinking about it and he's certain he wants to spend his life with me. He said it's the thing he wants the most.

Only yesterday I was going to blog about how for the first time since last April, I felt like my head was clear of any fuzziness because I had finally gotten over the blurry pink cloud that surrounded me. I felt that finally my relationship was another part of my life, not the overriding joy. Now I'm back into the fuzziness. I mean, we just talked about financing our lives together and how we would discipline our kids!!! The ones we don't even have yet! It's making my head spin.

He said he'll call me after he gets back from Ryan's (and his girl problems) so we could continue talking.

In the last couple of weeks our relationship started skyrocketing to a new level, and now it has gained speed. I'm scared and so excited!