New Hope

All day I was thinking how similar this job rejection was to my 'date' rejection about this time last year. There is no definite 'no' but there is no 'yes' either. It's just that anxious waiting, knowing that it's too late for a 'yes' but still having a tiny bit of hope that they just haven't gotten around to calling me.

Tried to tell myself to stop that tiny hope because it wasn't doing me any good. Unlike with other postions I'd always be able to find some relief in not having to do them, like "It's too far to get to anyway" or "I'd hate to do that part of the job" but with this one I couldn't think of anything I wouldn't want to do.

Got more calls than usual today so that didn't help because I kept hoping it was going to be from that company.

When I switched off the computer to go home, I got a call. From them! It was weird that all day I was expecting them to call but when they did, it didn't hit me straight away who it was. I got ready for a verbal rejection but the woman just asked if she could go ahead and check my referees if I was still interested in the position. I think I yelled a bit too loudly that 'Of course!' I was interested. How could she even think otherwise? She also asked if she could call the guy from my graphic design position earlier this year. I wish she wouldn't care so much about him because even though we were on good terms, we were strictly professional and I doubt he'd say anything extra nice about me. He'd probably be really bland. If he remembers me. I emailed her with his contact details when I got home. Hopefully she called my other referees (that I gave her earlier) and wouldn't bother with the guy.

I'm so nervous now because I've been given new hope and that can be really dangerous. The higher the hope that deeper the disappointment following the rejection.

Oh how I want that job!