Will Will Will. Probably Not

Will Will Will. Probably Not

For the last few days I've told myself that I will wake up early in the morning and go for a walk. I'm telling myself this again right now. I don't know who I'm kidding. I've stopped being as active as I was when I was at uni. I no longer have the necessity to walk for hours every day. Just walking from home to the station, from the station to uni and back would take an hour. Then add all the walking during the day at uni and I'm sure that would fill another hour. So two hours of walking a day now decreased to less than an hour of walking since there's no walking at work.

Ok, that's it, I'm getting up at 6am tomorrow and walking till 7am. Then I will come home and finish my portfolio, since now I've been given a deadline. (One place to which I applied called me back and asked to see a pdf page of my work.) I will have to design an impressive layout which will no doubt take close to forever and no doubt I will not be satisfied with it.

I should go to sleep so I could wake up at six tomorrow but I so don't want to. David keeps creeping into my thoughts. Last night when we went to the city and he was not looking too good due to stress and I tried to cheer him up, he said, "You just made my day. You take all my stress away. I'm so happy I have you". Can't describe how good it felt to hear him say that since I'm horrible at trying to cheer people up. I always end up saying unhelpful things and wish I just kept my mouth shut.

I won't see him for two weeks which I don't want to think about. Have to remind myself that if I could cope for years without him, I can deal with two weeks. When I was desperately single, it was like holding my breath under water, impatiently waiting to come up for air. I'm just so grateful he came into my life.