Feels Like Flying

I used to have recurrent dreams of being able to fly. It was always in different locations. I would just have to flap my arms and I would be able to push through the air and fly. I remember in one dream I just wanted to leave Earth so I kept flapping my arms harder and harder, until I left the atmosphere and entered the mass emptiness of stars and galaxies, and even though I felt so free being able to fly away, when I was alone and had nowhere further to fly, I wanted to go back to Earth.

I'm not even going to try to analyse that dream and what it means because it seems pretty obvious.

The reason I'm mentioning it now is because I'm feeling like my feet (and mind) have left the ground. Andy told me that being in such a state of unrealistic happiness can end up really badly and I consciously know that. But I just want to enjoy it a bit longer and to feel like I'm flying for as long as I can.

Last night, David said/did something so romantically sweet, I'm now listening to "The Lady In Red" on repeat. We also had a really satisfying conversation about how we felt about each other. He always manages to articulate his feelings so much better than me. I end up stumbling on words because I just can't describe how I feel and always end with, "You know what I mean?" to which he always replies, "No, not really". Told him that I don't say how I feel not because I don't have feelings for him but because I just can't put them into words.

He's always doing such thoughtful things and he sends me little cute emails.

Anyway, I'm sorry that this blog is becoming a single person's nightmare. If it was someone else's, I would've stopped reading it already (which I think some people have, and I don't blame them).

Lately, I've started to censor myself a lot more even though I want to say all the things he does and says but I just feel like it's personal and shouldn't be for everyne to know. So that's why I'm just talking generally about how wonderful he is, without any specifics.

I was supposed to go out with Amelia tonight but she messaged to tell me it was a bad day for her to go and if we could go next Friday. Told her I couldn't (because I'm meeting David and it's going to be exactly 1 month since we started officially going out). Speaking of which, he told me that he was planning on asking me to be his girlfriend that night all along and it wasn't because I brought it up.

I wonder how this ride that I'm on will end...