The Last Kiss

Did I even mention that I have the most wonderful boyfriend?

Today could've turned into an emotionally draining disaster, but instead left me light-hearted and relieved.

He asked me (in context) when was the last time I've kissed someone. I tried to brush it off and said, "A while ago" and he asked, "When?" So I said I didn't remember and it didn't matter anyway. Then, his face became all dark and serious like I've never seen before (which was actually quite sexy) and he said, "Why can't you tell me?" so without even looking at him, I mumbled, "Last year" and he said, "With who?" and I couldn't believe he was so interested in something so insignificant so I tried to change the subject, "Let's not talk about me" and he said, "I've told you so much about my past and we never talk about you. I don't want to talk about myself anymore. I want to talk about you. Who was it? Was it a one-night thing or something?"

"No! You know I wouldn't do something like that!"

"So, tell me. What's the big deal?"

"It's not a big deal. I'm making it into a bigger deal than it is. It was nothing."

"If it's nothing, why can't you tell me? You don't trust me?"

"It's not that."

"Do you think I'll feel differently about you if you tell me?"

"No. Yes."

"Sky, what is it? Sky?"

Then, he was just staring at me with his dark eyes, waiting for me to explain but I couldn't even look at him so I just stared into space, hoping this moment would end. I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to tell him the embarrassing truth.

"Sky? Who was this guy?"

"No one! I'm serious!"

"Was he mean to you?"

"No! It's nothing like that."

Then I stared into space some more, while he stared at me. Then, he got up.

"Are you going?"

"Yeah. You can't even talk to me."

"Ok ok, I'll tell you!"

He sat down.

"You can't tell this to anyone, even your sister, or your Mum"

"What's between me and you stays between me and you."

"You're going to think this is really weird."

I glanced away from the very interesting blank space on the ground to see his face. I've never seen anyone more interested and serious and worried and anxious at the same time. When I told him that I've never kissed anyone before, I couldn't even look at him. As soon as I finished saying it, I got up and said, "Ok, let's go home now" because he would obviously think I'm too strange. Then I looked at him and he was smiling.

"That's it?" he said.

"You're going to think of me differently now, I know."

"Come here," and then he gave me the biggest hug.

"So, want to go home now?"

"No, I want to be with you."

"Are you going to treat me differently now?"

"Of course not. When I told you about my past, did you think differently of me?"

"No, you're still the same person"

"So are you. Past is past. I only care about the present and the future."

What a weight off my shoulders. I don't have to hide it anymore. He still likes me. And he definitely feels quite special. But so do I.

Did I even mention that I have the most wonderful boyfriend?