Incomplete

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess.

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete.

- Backstreet Boys

What a surprise to hear a new Backstreet Boys song on the radio! It's so sad and dark and depressing and I absolultely love it. I don't think I can describe how in love I was with them when I was a teenager. I never seemed to get sick of their music. All the other boy bands were nothing in comparison.

As soon as I heard their new song, I remembered sitting on the floor in Nadine's bedroom when we were about 14 and making up stories about them being our boyfriends. Kevin was Nadine's hot boyfriend and Brian was my cute one. AJ was the sleazy guy who wanted to go out with Nadine (I think), Nick was my silly friend (who was secretly in love with me) and Howard we didn't like because he had a fish face (protruding eyes and lips). Making up these stories would entertain us for hours.

I used to be really squeamish and Nadine would purposely add dirty parts (using 'creative' vocabulary) so we'd end up laughing so much our stomachs would hurt and tears would be rolling from our eyes.

Sometimes I wish I could have those days back.

She's having a party in a few weeks to celebrate her graduation so I might go to that. Hopefully I'd be able to bring David along 'cause I don't want to be the only one not getting drunk.

My grandma told me how she had a really close childhood friend with whom she drifted apart in her 20s but they became inseparable again in their 40s till that woman's death (in her late 60s, I think). Maybe Nadine and I are going to be close again when we are 40 too.